Black Out
by Stolie Silver
Summary: Sam didn't know when she became addicted, but nothing seemed to make sense anymore. Sam ends up digging a hole too deep that she can't get out, and the most unexpected person turns her opnion of love, herself and life around. ALCOHOL ABUSE!seddie
1. Prologue: Sooner or Later

**Prologue; Sooner or Later**

_Sooner or later,  
><em>_Your gonna hate it,  
><em>_Go ahead and throw your life away,  
><em>_Driving me under,  
><em>_Leaving me out there,  
><em>_Go ahead and throw your life away.  
>-Breaking Benjamin <em>

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><p>Her breathing came out hot and fast, everything felt so heavy, and she could feel the sensation slowly spreading throughout her entire body. She slumped her shoulders forward with a harsh jerk, and only being able to explain the feeling as it was like she was carrying weights on her shoulders, and they were pushing her down father and father into the old wood floor. Each step seemed to take forever, her room feeling so much farther than it really was, than it could be. She felt frustrated that her room and her warm bed seemed to never get any closer, and she was struggling to get there, but couldn't find it in her to become angry, as the feelings happy and relief flowed through her at the same time, as the beautiful clear liquid in her hands seemed to always have that intense effect on her mind.<p>

At that moment she didn't care that she had become so weak as to turn to her mother's stash. She didn't know if her mother was too drunk to notice or just didn't care that for the past two months her daughter had been stealing the large quantity of the intoxicating beverage she had under her bed. She was betting on the later.

Her legs began to go numb, she couldn't even feel her aching body anymore, and it felt nice. This stuff was magical; it had the ability to make all the pain and hurt go away, like nothing else could. It was beautiful to her, and peaceful. Yes, peaceful, she thought. Suddenly the numbing feeling she had in her legs began to take control; and finally giving way under the pressure of her buzzing body, in front of her bedroom door, landing hard onto her knee's, the shock making her realise a small moan, and leaning forward harshly onto her door frame. She felt a warm thick liquid stream down her face, and to her chapped lips, it tasted like iron.

After a few moments she finally felt she had enough strength to grip her hand firmly around the neck of the bottle that was slipping from her grip. Taking in one last breath she lifted the glass bottle to her lips, and tilted her head back far enough to suck the last remains of the bottle dry. Though there was only a small amount of the alluring fluid left, she gasped for air and quickly inhaled sharply as it flowed down her throat, viciously attacking her stomach with its harsh taste.

Quickening her breath hoping to cure the bitter sensation forming in her stomach and mouth, she leaned back to far, falling slightly back onto the other side of the door frame, losing drip on the bottle. Breathing became something like a comfort to her, freeing from the hysteria going on in her mind, the more oxygen she took in the more calm she felt. She open her eyes to look down at her hand that just a second ago held firmly to the neck of the glass bottle, suddenly feeling the effects of what was once in the bottle, she closed her eyes for a moment.

She didn't know how long she laid there for, but when she opened her eyes with what felt like minutes later, she noticed that the once dark sky out her window had speckles of orange, pink and blue in it, signalling the start of Monday. Groaning she moved her arms up to the edge of the door frame in front of her and slowly hoisted her sore and tired body up from the ground.

Stopping only for a moment to calm the buzzing in her head, she collapsed onto her bed, her body feeling warm comfortable and….happy. She had lived through another night, and that was something she felt the need to be happy about. Lately life had become more of a struggle every day, thing were changing fast, and she didn't like it. Activities she once enjoyed became part of the past and her friends took interest in other things, making her feel uncomfortable and unwanted, when in reality it probably wasn't even like that, but it was hard to see anything past the smiles of her friends, seeing how happy they were, she felt like she was being left behind, feeling like she had nothing to ground her and giving her that feeling of having nothing to make her feel safe.

But she had her Beautiful Liquid, her Alluring Fluid, her Elegant Mistress, her Crystal Beauty.

Her Haven.

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><p><strong>Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly or any of the characters.<strong>

**Hey everyone!**

**This is my first time writing a fanfic, so I'm a little nervous as to what you guys will think.**

**Any helpful suggestions are welcome, be as BURTAL as you want. I want to test out my writing skills. I feel like it seems rushed. :S If you have any suggestions also on what you think should happen in the story FEEL FREE TO SAY SO. I'll take your suggestions VERY seriously. **

**Enjoy. **


	2. Chapter 1: Alcohol

**Chapter One; Alcohol**

_I thought that Alcohol was just for those with  
>nothing else to do<br>I thought that drinking just to get drunk  
>was a waste of precious booze<br>But now I know that there's a time  
>and there's a place where I can choose<br>To walk the fine line between  
>self-control and self-abuse<br>-Barenaked Ladies_

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><p>The first thing Sam noticed when she woke up Monday morning was the sun, and how it seemed to light up her small room. Groaning she rolled over onto her side in an attempt to avoid the harsh glare, but it was no use, the sun was high in the sky and refused to give her the satisfaction of gaining any more sleep.<p>

Giving up Sam rolled over to her previous position on her bed, closing her eyes partly, feeling dead to the world, like she hadn't slept in days, though it was far from reality. All she had done in the past few months was sleep. She was starting to lose interest in almost everything besides coming home and crashing on her bed, or in the least hoping to end up passed out somewhere in her house for numerous hours. It was becoming the only thing she began to look forward too. Sam peered over at her old alarm clock, the alarm didn't work anymore, due to the abuse over the years by her fist, she didn't know why she hadn't bothered to through it away yet, she it would probably still be there months later. The diming red numbers read 4:00. Shit. She missed school.

Grudgingly she lifts her body off the mattress, looking around the room for her phone. She couldn't remember where she had left it, actually she couldn't remember a lot of things from last night, only flashes of what had occurred, but then black. But that was normal for her. Quickly she swung her feet over the edge of her bed, stopping momentarily to calm the spinning she was experiencing, and continued to make her way out of her room, only to trip on something.

She quickly balanced herself on the wall, and looked down to see the large glass bottle of Gin. She slid down the wall to assure she kept her balance and pick the empty bottle up in her hand. She didn't know what to think about what she had done last night, or for the past three months, but that was the joy about stuff like this, you didn't have to, and even if you wanted too, you couldn't.

She drug her feet along the hard wood floor to the kitchen to dispose of the evidence. Just because she'd been drinking, she didn't want the reminder of how weak she was because she had to turn to alcohol to cope. She wasn't strong enough to deal with life problems on her own, and she was disgusted with herself, she was desperate for a way out of her life, and this was the closest she could ever get to pure bliss.

Dropping the bottle into the recycling on her front porch she noticed something out of place, a bright blinking light. Moving around some of the bottles she reached her hand down and noticed it was her cell phone. _How did this get in here?_ She thought, wiping the small traces of morning dew off her phone and turning back inside the house.

Taking the few steps need to reach the kitchen she opened the door, looking for anything to settle the nauseating feeling forming in her stomach. Last night was nothing compared to most nights, where in the morning she woke up and couldn't move, and sometimes even in her own puke, and she was thankful for that fact right now, as she didn't feel like nursing a hell of a hangover. Reaching in she grabbed a soda and popped open the tab and took a good sized chug. Letting out a relaxed sigh and leaned her forehead against the refrigerator. Her body felt relaxed and calm, and she just stayed there, basking in what might be the only time she would get a chance to relax for a while.

The moment didn't last long as the front door was kicked in; she was surprised that the door hadn't fallen off its hinges. Annoyed she looked up to see her mother in the arms of Dave, her newest boyfriend of 6 months, it quite amazed her that her mother managed to keep a boyfriend that long, but if you counted all the times they have broken up and gotten back together, it's been about 6 weeks since he has been back, with only about a week break in between.

Sam watched silently as he carried her mother into the farthest room. Once they disappeared she felt a wave of nausea come over her and ran to the garbage and emptied the contents of her stomach into the trash, which didn't help her stomach settle as it smelled of rotten food and cigarettes. Trying to find her balance while trying to hold into the wall, she felt someone pull back her hair.

Once she had gained control over her stomach she turned around to see Dave smiling back at her, gently brushing the hair out of her face. She glared up at him, daring him to keep his hand there, but he didn't seem fazed by it, but just smiled at her.

"Did little Sammie have a rough night?" He asked, moving his hand to brush her hair behind her ear, his grin becoming wider.

Sam swatted his arm away, "Don't touch me."

Turning around she grabbed her soda and started from her room again, but was stopped when she heard soft snoring coming from her mother's room.

"I see you and my mother had fun last night" she commented, not making eye contact with him, but rather kept staring down the hall.

"Oh we did," He said stepping closer to her and bending down to ear level and whispered "You should join us sometime, or maybe just you and me, I bet we could have a great time."

"Oh, I bet we could" she replied sarcastically, and continued down the hall to her room.

She dropped her soda onto her broken night stand gently, and waited a moment to see if it would fall off. When after several seconds it did not move and turned to her dresser and opened the drawer, taking out some underwear and then proceeded to gather a pair of jeans and a light sweat shirt and make her way to the bathroom across the hall. Before slipping into the bathroom she looked down the hall into the living area and saw Dave passed out on the couch. Seeing that it was safe to shower she ducked back into the bathroom.

Stripping down to her underwear she decided to brush her teeth to free herself of the taste of stale alcohol. Grabbing her tooth brush she started the procedure of brushing her teeth. She kept her eyes away from her face, she couldn't look at it, she just knew what she looked like, and it was revolting.

Over the past few months she had lost an incredible amount of weight, as the amount of alcohol had taken a toll on her appetite, but due to the loss of weight, the drinks she consumed took a faster and even greater effect on her body and mind. Her stomach almost look like it was sunk in and her ribs almost visible. She had gotten paler also; going to school and coming right back home most day's left very little room for sun exposer. She was very grateful that the treatment she was giving her body had not affected her facial features all that much, no black bags under her eyes or depressed cheek bones, no her face looked almost as it usually does, but a little thinner.

Spitting out the tooth paste into the sink and rinsing her mouth she stepped into the shower. She hadn't realized how cold she had been, the large amounts of liquor she consumed almost every night had kept her warm, as her mother couldn't afford heating. As she washed her hair she thought about how much she thought about the intoxicating beverage, she never noticed before how everything lead back to it. She thought about it during school when she was bored, when she was mad, or upset, she always thought about running to her house and grabbing one of the many bottles that lie under her mother's bed.

It controlled her.

_NO!_ She mentally screamedat herself, it didn't control her, she had perfect control, it was just comforting, like a best friend.

_Yeah, like a best friend._ But she already had one of those, or so she thought. _NO! I DO, I DO! _She thought again, she DID have a best friend; she was just busier now. Carly was becoming more obsessed with College, even though they didn't graduate till next year, she had told her it was never too early to start thinking about the future, and even encouraged Sam to start thinking about her future.

_HA! _She thought _What future? _She lived in an old run down house with her mother and her jobless boyfriend, what exactly did she have to look forward too, she knew what her future was, and it was sleeping in the room down the hall.

She finally turned off the shower once her skin started to turn red. Grabbing her clothes she changed and brushed through her wet hair, she headed for the kitchen once again to grab another soda, the one in her room forgotten and probably flat. Though before she could take a drink she noticed the familiar flashing coming from the counter near the garbage, it was her phone.

Picking it up she flipped it open and noticed there where 4 missed calls from Carly, probably wondering why she hadn't come to school today, and 3 Missed texts from Carly asking where she was and notifying her that if she got this text to come to the Groovie Smoothie after school. Scrolling down she noticed one missed text from Freddie, asking her where she was, and that Carly really wanted to know, as she was worried. She scoffed, Freddie only checked up on her for Carly, everything was for Carly, I bed that if she was dead in a ditch some place he wouldn't give a rats ass, probably would be happy he had Carly all to himself. Jerk.

Deciding to spite his sorry ass she decided to go meet them at the Grooye Smoothie. Walking out into the living area she saw Dave still sleeping on the couch, his wallet and car keys resting on the small wooden coffee table. Picking up his wallet she looked through it, pulling out a 10 she threw it back down onto the table and walked quickly out the door when she heard him beginning to stir from his sleep.

The walk was long to the other side of town, so she decided to take a short cut through the park, because for Sam 30 minutes was a long way to walk. She didn't like long walks, not just because it involved her walking and moving more then she cared for, but it gave her more time to think, and lately thinking was something that Sam hated doing. She hated thinking back on memories of when she first met Carly and Freddie, and how they started iCarly, and how it was still going, and how they started high school together and all the drama they went through, only to keep their friendship going strong. She didn't like thinking about it because it could all be taken away, they would be seniors next year and then graduating and Carly and Freddie would move off to another city and leave her behind, because let's face it, there was no way SHE was getting into college.

Sam decided to rest her legs and take a break on one of the swings in the park. She started to move herself slightly back and forth, and the feeling of a small gust of wind felt nice in her face and closed her eyes, feeling a sense of calm.

She suddenly she heard a loud scream come from her left, it wasn't one of someone who was frightened, but one of happiness. It was a father and a daughter playing, he was chasing her around the grassed area, making funny monster noises and something about how he would eat her.

And once again, her mind started to wonder.

Her childhood was never great. She remembered her father coming home some nights drunk out of his mind, yelling and screaming at her mother, and sometimes Sam would get in the way, but she didn't mean too. Her mother to scared and not caring enough of her only daughter to protect her, and she learned the hard way that you have to learn to protect yourself, because no one else was gonna do it.

Hearing more laughter and high pitched squealing her eyes connected with those of the pair, the father had finally caught his daughter and was now spinning her around, both had smiles on their faces, and it made Sam want to punch them. It wasn't fair the them thought, just because she wasn;t happy, doesn't mean everyone else had to miserable too.

Taking one last look at the happy pair Sam got off the swing and stood up.

God did she need a drink.

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><p><strong>Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly or any of the characters.<strong>

**I wanted this chapter to be more about Sam's home life and how her drinking came to be, well glimpses of it, the rest will be revealed later. I also wanted you to see Sam's slight obsession with alcohol, and how every time she feels happy its because of drinking and how she runs to it for comfort, but don't worry, she will be getting a special boy for comfort later. And most likely this will be a seddie fic, I've got some idea's **

**I originally had Freddie see Sam kind of out of it from drinking, but I thought it was too soon, but there should be some interaction between Sam, Carly and Freddie next chapter, but to tell you the truth, I'M WINGING THIS STORY, lol. I right whatever comes to mind.**

**Also Dave is going to be a very helpful character, and you'll find out how near the end sadly.**

**I hope you enjoy this chapter and the rest of my story. Suggestions are welcome and be honest :P**

**I also want to thank you all for the awesome reviews, and story alerts. I felt so happy when I got them.**

**Enjoy!**


	3. Chapter 2: Masterpiece Theatre

**Chapter Two; Masterpiece Theatre**

_I've been here so very long and every word is calculated never questioned or debated  
>All these practiced poses I could wreck it if i had to but I'm the wreck so what would that do,<br>My masterpiece will fall apart; it was over before the start  
>-Marian's Trench<em>

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><p>The next morning didn't present much of a challenge for Sam to get up. The night before after leaving the park she came home and served herself some of Rum and grabbed some crackers to settle her stomach, she didn't wish for a hangover the next day, just enough to put her to sleep.<p>

She found herself wondering how her mother could afford all this alcohol, considering they didn't have any money for food or heat, then she realized that in fact, the money which was supposed to be used for necessity's like that for living, were in fact going to the large stash of different kinds of alcoholic beverages under her mother's bed, though this time as to not raise suspicion she took some from Dave.

Grabbing the necessary clothes for the day Sam made her way to the bathroom. She didn't waste any time in the shower, even though it is something she would prefer to do. Ever since Dave came into her life she has been afraid to take long showers, for the fear he might "accidentally" come into the bathroom. There had been an incident about 3 weeks after he moved in, and about 5 weeks after him and her mother had started dating. Sam was taking a well needed shower when she heard talking coming down the hallway, the stupid mistake she made was deciding to get out of the shower the same exact moment Dave wondered into the bathroom. In the end she ended up ripping the shower curtain down to cover herself and kicked Dave in a very sensitive place. Their relationship was a little tense after that.

Stepping out of the shower she lent down under the sink and pulled out some make up that she kept under the sink, just because she was labelled a tom-boy didn't mean that she didn't like to look nice, she just didn't overdue it like most girls.

Just as she was about to apply the cover up she noticed a dark spot just below her right cheek, touching her cheek gently she pulled back quickly, it stung a little. "Shit" she pouted into the mirror. She hated explaining why she came to school sometimes with scratches or bruises, she didn't really have to think of a good excuse, just plainly telling them she got into a fight was a good enough reason, but it was the time and energy that it took to lie to them, she just wished that they didn't ask questions, it was always the same answer.

Sighing she opened the bottle of cover up and started to apply it to her face, it was thin and made her skin feel soft. She didn't really need it, but she already felt so insecure about the way she looked, and to be able to cover up some of her flaws made her feel more comfortable in her own skin.

Once she was finished evenly covering her face she looked up to see that the bruise was still slightly visible. Grabbing the small bottle she turned it over waiting for the tan liquid to come out, but after several minutes when nothing came out she started to shake it vigorously. Growling she brought it up to her face and noticed that the bottle was empty.

She slammed the bottle back onto the counter, though the bruise was slightly less visible didn't mean that it was noticeable, people would still ask questions. Letting out an angered breath she decided to just ignore it, she didn't have a choice, people would see it and there was nothing else she could do.

Finishing up her routine she stepped out into the hall and into the small living area and grabbed her knapsack. As she was about to leave she noticed her mother's wallet, she doubted it had any money in it, but it never hurt to check. Grabbing the wallet she opened the flap where any bills she had would be held and her eyes widened in shock, there was about 30 dollars in there, which was mighty big increase to what she usually had in there. She quickly looked around and then shoved the money into her bag.

"Stealing money I see?"

"Holy shit!" she screamed in shock, and lost grip on the wallet, letting it land onto the floor.

"Didn't think you would sink so low as to steal money from your own mother."

Turning around she smirked at him, "The obviously you don't me."

"The maybe we should send some time getting-" stepping forward and lifting her chin he continued "closer."

"I don't think so." she snarled, trying to free her chin from his grasp.

"Oh dear, little Samantha got hurt." he smirked, running his thumb over the bruise, she could feel his hot breath over her skin, and it burned, "You should really be more careful about where you wonder when your drunk, you never know who could hurt you-" he continued bringing her face closer, "or take advantage of you"

"What do you mean?" she scoffed, swatting his arm away from her face disgusted.

"Nothing, just simply warning you, I wouldn't want my little angel to get hurt."

"You know something, or else you wouldn't have said anything!" she screamed, and before she could continue to yell at him his dirty hand was covering her mouth.

"Shut up," he whispered harshly "don't wake your mother."

Yanking his arm away she sneered at him, "You did this, didn't you?", pointing to her lower cheek.

"Now what would make you think that sweetie?"

"That's why you said I should be more careful about where I wonder when I'm drunk, and I KNOW I've been home all night," putting her hands on his chest and pushing him back, "you said to be careful about what people could take advantage of me-" she seethed, "what did you do to me?"

"What makes you think I did anything?"

Stepping closer she continued with a smirk on her face, "because you didn't want my mother to know" she laughed.

Silence.

She knew she had caught him.

"Just be careful Samantha," he said turning around towards the kitchen, "and go to school, you're going to be late."

"Fuck you" she turned and opened the door, "and don't call me Samantha." slamming the door behind her.

Dave ran a hand threw his thick black hair.

"Shit."

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><p>Pulling the hood of her white hoodie over her head Sam entered the school. She slowly crept up to the corner before her locker, sneaking a peek to see if Carly had made it to school yet, avoiding her would be a lot easier than having to explain the bruise on her face.<p>

Seeing that she was safe to go she approached her locker, and started to quickly shove her books and some snacks into her bag, if she didn't have to come back to her locker all day it would be easier to avoid Carly. She didn't want to but Carly would ask questions, and she couldn't handle that right now.

Closing her locker she quickly turned around, hoping to make a quick getaway, only to turn and run into Carly Shay herself.

"SAM!" the startled brunette yelled.

In shock Sam had dropped her backpack onto the floor, her books and some of the chips and soda had fallen out from it. In a second Sam was on the floor shoving everything back into her bag, whilst trying to keep the right side of the hood covering her face.

"Lemme help." she said grabbing Sam's backpack and bringing it over to herself, and setting it down on the tile floor. Once she did so Sam looked up at Carly, she had a questioning look on her face.

"What was that?" she questioned.

"What was what?" she almost yelled grabbing the book bag from Carly's hands, thought there wasn't a time where it held many books.

Carly then reached out her hand taking hold of the bag once again and lifting it in the air and then let it go, making it hit the floor with a clang. It sounded like glass hitting the floor.

"That" she stated looking up at Sam, "It weights a ton, and it's not like you have many books in there anyway" she giggled, and was about to reach into the bag to see whatever it was that was making the sound, and quickly snatched it form Carly.

"Oh that?, it's just an old bottle of juice" she replied occupying herself with looking through her bag trying to keep her head down, and also checking if the bottle had broken on contact with the floor.

"Ew Sam, you really got to clean that out." she said standing up, "why don't you just give it to me, I'll through it out on my way to class, because God knows you will probably leave it in there if I don't."

"No it's okay Carls, I really gotta get to class." She smiled to herself, walking past Carly's open hand.

"Sam, class doesn't start for another 10 minutes and your class it right down the hall." she looked at her questionably.

"Yeah well-" she began but was interrupted by the office speakers calling her name, telling her that she was needed at the principal's office.

"Oh, well, looks like I'm needed, I'll talk to you later okay Carls?" patting her on the shoulder, she began to walk towards the office.

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><p>Opening the large wooden door of the office Sam was met with the brown eyes of the receptionist, Miss Kyles. Sam thought she was a very attractive woman and didn't understand why she was still single.<p>

"Hey Kyles."

"Hello Samantha, how are you today?" she said looking up from her computer.

"Haven't I told you to call me Sam," she lifted her feet up onto the small coffee table in front of her, "I really hate that name."

"Haven't I told you to not put your feet up onto the table, I just cleaned that." she said with a smile, laughing to herself, and then went back to her vigorous typing on her computer.

"Touché." she smirked, she liked talking to her; it always gave her a challenge.

They sat in silence after that. The only sounds were from Miss Kyles typing on her computer. Though Sam did enjoy her light banter with the brunette lady, she didn't like to talk a lot, so their conversations where usually quite short.

The ringing of the phone broke the silence, the young receptionist picked up the phone and she knew it was Principal Franklin because she didn't give the usual "Ridgeway High School" when she answered it.

"Principal Franklin will see you now." she said and once again went back to typing.

Getting up she opened the second door that led to the office of Ted Franklin.

"Hey Ted." she said once she entered, throwing her bag onto one of the chairs and sitting down on the other.

"Sam."

"Sorry, Good morning Principal Franklin." she said sarcastically with a bored expression on her face. Sighing Ted continued.

"Do you know why you're here Sam?"

"Because I stepped foot on school property?" she smiled leaning cover the front of his desk, "I mean, I wasn't even here for 5 minutes before you called me in here."

Folding his hands onto of his desk he continued, "No Sam, do you know what yesterday was?"

Sam looked at him confused, "Monday?"

"Yes Sam, Monday, and usually on a Monday teenagers your age are in school, which you were not yesterday," he rubbed his forehead, knowing that this was going to give him a future headache, "would you like to explain to me where you were?"

"Sure, I wasn't here." she smiled wider, batting her eyelashes.

"I can see that Sam, but my questions is why weren't you here?" he replied, dragging out the 'why'.

Shrugging it off, "I don't know, I just wasn't."

"So now excuse, no stories about why you weren't here yesterday?" he looked up shocked.

"Nope, just didn't feel like coming."

"Well Sam, I have to say that that isn't a good enough reason." he leaned back in his chair and opened the top drawer of his desk, pulling out a sheet of paper and continued, "It says here that you have been missing school a lot lately, more so in the past two, almost three months."

"And?"

"Sam, if you continue to miss anymore school," he rubbed his eyes after putting down the paper; "I'll have no choice but to expel you."

Sam was silent, shocked, but she didn't show it, all that was on her face was a blank look.

"Expelled?"

"Yes Sam, expelled, I don't really want to do that to you, so you have to please promise me you will come to school more than twice a week."

"I'll try," she sighed, "that's the best I can give you."

"Good enough, you are dismissed, don't disappoint me Sam."

She didn't say anything, just got up, grabbed her backpack and left.

Her mind was blank. She didn't know if she even cared that she could possibly be expelled, school hadn't really done much for her, and it seemed more in the way than anything else at the moment. She hardly came to school and when she did she either skipped or slept during class, it just seemed that it was wasting her and the teacher's time coming here as much as she actually decided to.

Sometimes she wonder what she was even doing.

Somehow during all her thinking she ended up in front of the girl's bathroom. It was during class and the teachers usually didn't allow students out during this time, so she was most likely safe and wouldn't get caught. Taking one last look down the hall she opened the door and entered the girls bathroom,

She knew what she was going to do, she couldn't help it, she was stressed, and when she was stressed it seemed only one thing could calm her. She started to become more and more tense thinking about how to deal with this new information, and she needed it now. She started making her way down to the last stall, opening all the others on her way down to see if anyone besides herself occupied the bathroom, then ducked into the last stall.

Locking the door she sat down on the toilet, no one had come in here this morning and most likely won't for most of the day, she was on the far end of the school, near the shop classes, and most of the people taking those classes were guys, so she didn't really have to worry about any girls walking in there. Most likely if she lifted the lid of the toilet up it would probably still be blue form the cleaning solution. It wasn't like she was afraid of anyone finding her, because no one could even see her, she just preferred her privacy.

Opening her backpack she shuffled through all the wrappers of candy and fat cakes, and some of the books she had shoved into her bag that morning until she reached the bottom to where her bunched up sweat pants were, and pulled them out of the bag.

Setting her bag in front of her on the floor she put the item of clothing in her lap and started to unfold it until she saw the bottle of mild whiskey. They were more of Dave's drink, he always kept them up in one of the high cupboards, these where one of his drinks that he drank when he wanted to get her mother drunk so he could sleep with her, and wanted himself to stay slightly sober, which was perfect for her because she only wanted a buzz since she was at school.

Opening the bottle the scent of spice entered her nostrils. She always liked whiskey because of the way it smelled. Lifting the bottle to her mouth she took a shot, letting the liquid wash over her tongue and down her throat. She sat waiting for a minute but she couldn't feel the buzz coming on, her mind wasn't going fuzzy and her body was still tense. Lifting up the bottle again she took two more large sips, and maybe a third or good measure, and leaned back against the toilet as she felt her mind calm, and a smile appeared on her face.

Putting the top back on the bottle after several minutes she rolled it back in the sweat pants. She was amazed it hadn't broken earlier. She was a little nervous when Carly started banging her bag against the floor, the only reason it wasn't broken was because it had be cushioned slightly by her pants.

She unlocked the stall and stepped out after shoving the wrapped up bottle back into the bottom of her bag and washed her hands. The scent wasn't strong but it was still noticeable. Reaching into the front pocket of her bag she pulled out a packet of Cherry Halls©, they were perfect for covering up any alcohol on her breath because they were so strong.

She popped the last one into her mouth and threw the wrapper away just as the bell had rung for next period; she was going to need to buy more later, grabbing her bag she made her way towards the door.

Poking her head out she stepped out into the crowd of students and walked off towards her next class, Science.

It was the only class she had with Freddie, in which she was just so ironically partnered with.

She decided to take the long way to class as she didn't want to run into Carly, who was probably wondering why she had been acting like a total idiot this morning, she could deal with that later.

Walking down the hall was slightly more difficult than it should be due to the four shots she took just five minutes earlier. Everyone was moving so fast and she felt like she was so much slower than them, bumping into people, she was having a hard time standing up straight, she just wanted to sit down and relax.

Finally making it to the Science room she noticed she was the last one to arrive, which wasn't a surprise. Making her way to the back of the room she came up to the attached desks, and noticed that Freddie was already sitting there, usually he would be talking to some people from the AV club at the front of the room so she was slightly surprised when she saw him sitting there.

"Hey Puckett." he said looking up from his text book.

Throwing her bag onto the desk she climbed onto the bar stool like chair, only to miss the bar the lift herself up and feel forward onto the desk in front of her, her vision had started to randomly go in and out of focus. Quickly –or as quickly as she could- she composed herself and looked over at Freddie.

"Benson."

Smirking he moved his body to face her, "Graceful as always aren't we."

"Shut it Fredderly."

Was all she said as she began to look through her nap sack for her science text book, but came up empty, _Damn it,_ she thought. Giving up she laid her head down on the desk deciding to take a nap, her head still feeling fuzzy.

"You do know we have a test today." Freddie said interrupting her thoughts.

Sam lifted her head off the table and looked at him, "What?"

"A test Sam, the test that Mrs. Costa told us about last week." he said picking up his text book.

"Oh." was all she could say, that was probably why Freddie wasn't up at the front, actually when she looked around she noticed that most of the other's in the class were doing some last minute studying.

Frustrated she slammed her head back down on the desk, well what she was expecting to be a desk, surprised she lifted her head back up to see a text book in front of her face, looking over she noticed that it was Freddie's and that he was shifting his chair closer to her.

"Freddie." she growled, noticing that he was too close.

"Shut up and read Puckett." was all he said before he looked back to the text book.

They continued to read in comfortable silence, until something hit Freddie's nose, and this time it wasn't Sam's fist, it was a smell. The smell wasn't strong, but smelled as though it had been aired out and would be terribly strong if it had freshly hit his nose. It was an unpleasant smell, but he just couldn't place what it specifically smelled like, but he could faintly smell the scent of Cherry Halls©, but it smelled oddly familiar.

He continued to sniff quietly, trying to indicate where the smell had been coming from. Picking up his bag he smelled it, wondering if something was moulding, but then laughed to himself, knowing that his mother would never let him have anything like that in his bag for too long.

Turning his head again towards Sam the smell once again hit his nose, and was getting slightly stronger the closer he got to Sam, he got closer to her and sniffed in the area closest to her neck. The smell coming from her was sour and slightly spicy and he scrunched up his nose. The smell was coming from Sam, but why did she smell like that.

"What are you doing?" looking up at him, coming out of her daze, she was having trouble focussing on the words, the alcohol in her system making her sleepy.

"Nothing," he looked at her making a slightly disgusted face for emphasis, "When was the last time you took a shower?" he laughed.

"Shut-"she started but was cut off by the teacher entering the room.

"Okay everyone clear your desks off, I want nothing but a pencil and eraser on your desks." Mrs. Costa started, laying her bag on her desk and pulling her dark blonde hair into a pony tail.

Sam looked over at Freddie, watching him take out the needed utensils and poked him in the shoulder, "Can I borrow a pencil?" she looked at him, batting her eyelashes and smiling brightly at him. He sighed and pulled out a pencil, he always seemed to have a weakness for when pretty girls bat their eyelashes at him, even Sam, though he would never admit it out loud.

No bothering to even say a thank you, Sam threw her bag onto the floor, making the bottle in her bag bang against the side of the desk, making it admit a loud noise in the very still room.

"Miss Puckett," the teacher said looking up, "Please be quite, we are about to take a test, and please take off your hood."

Grudgingly she did so, smoothing out her wild hair. While doing so she pulled the hair around her face back, revealing the large slightly covered bruise.

"How'd you get that?" Freddie wondered, manoeuvring around her outstretched arm to see her face.

"What?"

"That bruise on your face." he stated, wondering how she couldn't notice the dark spot on her face.

Sam quickly retracted her arm and putting a hand over her face, she had forgotten that the bruise was there.

"Got into a fight." she replied after the slight panic, the alcohol being of help, though she wasn't really scared of anyone seeing it, but Freddie would tell Carly, then she would have to get a lecture about fighting for her motherly friend.

"Not surprised." he chuckled.

And it was left at that.

* * *

><p>Sam skipped over to her locker, in a much better mood then she had been this morning. Opening her locker she shoved her books into it, like she was even going to use them, and grabbed the last two bags of chips and a Fat Cake form her locker and closed it just as Carly was coming up.<p>

"Hey Sam, how was school today," she said stopping in front to her friend, "I haven't seen you all day?"

"It's been fine, I think I faile-" she began but was cut off by Carly.

"Oh my god Sam, what happened to your face?" she asked, dropping her bag and reaching her hand out to touch her friend's cheek.

"It's nothing Carly, I just got into a little fight." she laughed, it was always funny to her how Carly got all motherly on her sometimes.

"SAM!" she yelled.

"It's fine Carly, I swear." she reassured her friend, backing away a little.

"Is this why you were acting to oddly this morning?" she asked worried.

"I just didn't want to worry you." all Carly replied with is a shake of her head and a light giggle.

"So who did you fi-" and once again someone was cut off as Freddie came up behind Sam.

"Hey chicas guapas."

"Hey Freddie." Carly giggled from being called pretty, while Sam looked at him with a blank face.

"I just wanted to tell you I can't make the iCarly meeting on Saturday."

"Why not?" Carly asked walking past Sam up to him.

"I'm visiting my Aunt on Friday after iCarly, so could we just move it to Sunday?"

Carly let out a breath, "I thought you were going to say that you couldn't do them at all." Carly was always paranoid about iCarly rehearsals.

"So…Groovy Soomthie?" Freddie asked with that cute cheesy smile he always gave.

"Sure." Carly exclaimed grabbing both of her friends. As they were about to exit the school Carly bumped into someone, that someone being Devon –none of them could remember his last name- she was only a year older than them, but slightly intimidating with his dark hair and piercing brown eyes.

"Hey."

"Hello." Carly said almost as a question. Devon wasn't someone any of them talked to, or someone a lot of people talked to.

"Was wondering if you guys would want to come for a little party on Sunday, me, some other guys, and you Carly." he smirked.

Carly backed away nervously, "No thank you." trying to say it nicely that she didn't want to be anywhere near him or his friends.

"Oh come on Carly," he smirked, getting closer, "It would be so much fun."

"I don't think so," it was Freddie, "She said no, so just go please." It kind of amazed Sam that only a few years ago someone like Freddie was shorter than Carly, and now he was Tall and sizing up people like Devon.

Devon's smile faded annoyed, "Whatever." and turned to Sam, "What about you?"

He didn't look that enthused about it, but still asked, "Wanna come have a little party with me and my friends?"

"Sure, why not?" she replied in a bored tone, his smile re-appeared back on his face. Silence followed, Freddie didn't say anything, Sam clenched her fists. It always pissed her off how Freddie would always stand up for Carly, worry about Carly, and over all protects Carly. Sam new that she could take care of herself, but it was always nice to feel cared for. Even if it was Fredward.

"Sam, we have rehearsals on Sunday, were you not listening?" she exclaimed.

"Oh yeah, you got that stupid iCarly shit, I'll go ask someone else" he said and began to walk away.

"NO!" she yelled "I'll come."

"Sam!"

"It'll be fine Carls, I'll make it."

"Great, I'll text you later with the details." and with that he turned and walked away, probably going to hunt down some poor girl to harass.

Sam looked over to Freddie and Carly, both of them, Carly looking worried.

"I don't trust him Sam, he kinda gives me the creeps." she said making a face, "I don't trust him."

"Carls you KNOW that I can take care of myself," she said putting a hand on her friends shoulder, "Don't worry, I'll be fine, I could really use some fun." she smiled, and in seeing this Carly smiled back.

"Fine, so Groovy Smoothie?"

"Yep lets go" Sam said grabbing Carly's hand, and once again were stopped before they could exit the school by someone calling Carly's name.

"CARLY!" it was Wendy, she was running up to them waving her hand in the air., Sam groaning and saying something about never going to be able to get out of school because of these interuptions.

"What is it Wendy." looking concerned at her friend.

"Mr. Turnac is giving us a surprise test tomorrow in American History, I just wanted to let you know that you should get your text book and do some studying." she tried to say out of breath, Sam nor Freddie could understand what she was saying, but luckily Carly did and that was all that mattered.

Turning to them Carly mumbled something about how Mr. Turnac was an asshole with no life, and said she would be right back, and with that she and Wendy were gone, leaving Sam and Freddie to stand there awkwardly in the hallway.

"So…" Freddie started, "I was wondering…"

"What?" she turned to him annoyed.

"Just wondering if you were okay, I mean you got into a fight and someone was actually about to land a punch on you, and today you seemed very out of it, you looked like you were struggling during Science class to stay awake…"

Sam gave him a serious look, "What do you care Benson?"

"Is it too much to be worried about a friend?" he replied smugly.

"Friend?," she questioned, "Since when are we friends?"

"Stop being a smart ass Puckett" he smiled, but before she could retaliate they were pulled away by Carly, she just smiled.

* * *

><p><strong>Disclaimer; I do not own iCarly or any of the characters.<strong>

**There you have it, Chapter Two!**

**It took me forever to write this. First I wrote out the chapter, then I go back and add more detail then fix and spelling and grammar mistakes, then read it over again.**

**So it takes me a long time to do chapter's lol.**

**IMPORTANT!**

**Also, I don't know if I'm getting any attention or if people are even enjoying my story. I don't want to be one of those people who beg for reviews, because I hate when people do that, but I wouldn't mind hearing some feedback from you, and I also wouldn't mind hearing any ideas of what you all would like to see happen in this story.**

**I have all the chapters planned out till chapter nine, in which the climax comes in chapter seven with Sam and Freddie, so I'm kinda excited.**

**ALSO, I would kinda like to know if you LIKE this story, because if not, I could start a new story that people would be interested in.**

**SO, tell me what you think.**


	4. Chapter 3: Teenagers

**Chapter Three; Teenagers**

_They Said that teenager's scare the living shit out of me,  
>They could careless as long as someone'll bleed,<br>So darken your clothes, or strike a violent pose,  
>Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me.<br>-My Chemical Romance_

* * *

><p><em>Shit, shit, shit, <em>Sam mentally screamed at herself, she was late. After yesterday's talk with Principal Franklin she wasn't making a very good impression of her sorry excuse of a promise of trying to get to school, and on time. She had skipped out on taking a shower once she noticed it was 9, so she quickly dressed and ran a comb through her hair and applied whatever make-up she could on her way to school, not having any time to brush her teeth.

Leaning up against the brick wall of the school she shoved a couple of Advil into her mouth. She was recovering from a semi-hangover. She was having trouble sleeping that night due to the fact her mother and Dave where in the middle of some intimate activity and drank half a bottle of whisky to help put her to sleep. She ended up passing out at around 4 that morning.

Coming up to the front entrance of the school she quietly walked down the busy hallway, trying avoid the hallway that held her first period class, as she had missed first on her rush to get here. If her teacher was to see her he would force her into Ted's office, leading to her expulsion.

Ducking down into the next hallway she quickly ran up to her second period and managed to sit down just as her teacher came into the room and sighed in relief, laying her head down on the hard surface in front of her. She hoped that if she managed to attend all her classes and on time Principal Franklin would let her off for being late that morning and missing first.

"So where were you this morning?" Freddie asked, jerking Sam out of her thoughts.

Sam turned her head slightly revealing one eye to Freddie. As she opened her eyes she saw him looking down at her questionably, tapping his pencil against his open text book. Groaning she buried her face back into her folded hands.

Rolling his eyes Freddie leaned down close to her ear, about to whisper something about her wanting to sit up before the teacher noticed, but was stopped when a sharp scent. It was that same harsh sour and bitter scent, the same one as yesterday and the weeks before that, except this time it was more distinct then it ever had been before, more so that once it hit his nose he immediately retracted his face from her.

Sensing someone close to her Sam lifted her head just as Freddie was backing away, and was about to give him a Sam Puckett glare when she noticed the almost disgusted expression on his face, and in a flash her face exchanged her semi-glare into a confused look.

"What?" she whispered annoyed after several seconds.

Freddie scrunched up his face even more and turned away slightly from the smell admitting from her breath. "Jesus Sam, when was the last time you took a shower or brushed your teeth?"

And for the third time in the past few minutes Sam's expression changed, this time into one of surprise. She didn't think she smelled bad.

"What do you mean?" narrowing her eyes.

"You smell disgusting." he stated awkwardly, leaning back as Sam clenched her fist and swung at him, and admitting a small yelp from Freddie, which notified the teacher of her presence.

"Miss Puckett, please refrain from injuring any students in my classroom," she stated calmly turning around, "and where young lady, are your text book and writing utensils?"

Pursing her lips together and making a popping sound with her she looked at the teacher straight, "Not here?" she answered raising her eyebrows for added effect.

"Miss Puckett, I will generously excuse your attitude as you have managed to make it on time for my class, which I assume is only because of the meeting you had yesterday with Principal Franklin," She said smugly, which resulted in Freddie looking over to her with a confounded look, and noted that he in fact had been giving her that look a lot lately, "But I would appreciate if you would come to my class prepared." she continued.

"You should be happy I would even show up for your class." she explained in a bored tone, hearing Freddie whispering her name in a way that was stating that she should stop.

"Well Miss Puckett," she frowned, "If you feel that way then maybe you shouldn't continue to grace us with your presence and exit my classroom?"

The class had gone quite; all eyes were on her, all anxious to see what she would do. Sam just stared. She was surprisingly calm, which made Freddie slightly nervous. Her head was pounding and the silence was making her uncomfortable. Her legs were hurting under the heavy weight of her body, and all she wanted to do was get out of there. Containing her surprise and putting on a less than thrilled expression she stood up from her seat and made her way to front of the room, "Fine by me." and continued towards the door, slamming it shut.

She had been walking for what felt like hours when she finally made it to the park near Bushwell Plaza. After she had made her exit from Mrs. Costa's class room she ran out of school, she thought it was best if she was getting kicked out of class she should get off school property before Principal Franklin caught up with her.

Approaching the old swing set at the far end of the park she dropped her backpack at her feet and sat down on one of the swings. She remembered this swing set, her and Carly used to come here when they were little, it was their favourite place to play. Kids would line up waiting for their turn behind the two, yelling at them to hurry up and take turns, which in result made Sam get up and scare them away.

She remembered the last time she was here, the night her dad left. Carly had found here sitting here, staring out into the lake. Carly had tried to comfort her but she made no reaction to acknowledge her friend. She was heartbroken, and beaten down. That day was the last time she remembered feeling anything. She never returned to the swing set on the hill, far too scared of remembering that night. Every time she looked at the tall structure, the rusting chains and the broken seats she didn't want to remember how devastated she had felt, but the naïve days when it was just her and Carly.

Carly never returned there either, feeling it wasn't right without her friend beside her. She wondered if Carly would be mad if she told her about it, but shook the thought from her mind. Why would she want to return to the very place things went to shit? Though Carly was lucky, she didn't have to deal with the heartache, she just had to pick up the pieces Sam had dropped, and she couldn't help but feel jealous.

Jealous.

That was usually the emotion she experienced around Carly Shay, and it made her sick to think about it. It disgusted her that she was angry with her friend for being happy, for being surrounded by people who love her. It was just something she couldn't shake, and she hated herself for it, wishing for someone to be unhappy because you were was just despicable, unforgiveable and wrong, but yet she still felt it every day. Every day when she saw how Spencer would make sure she always had something to eat, that she did her homework and was warm in her bed before he even went to sleep, and how Freddie would fawn over her, just like every other guy.

Carly was sweet, nice and respected everyone, and it was only fair she got the praise she did. She was nothing like her, but there was never a day that she didn't wish she was.

Swallowing the lump in her throat she reached forward for her bag and pulled out the same glass bottle she had been staring at for months now. She turned it over in her hands, sliding her fingers over the sharp curves and dents in the crystal and let out a shaky breath.

This was all she knew now, and nothing else. After months of surviving solely on different types and percentages of alcohol everything was starting to blur together into one big mess. She couldn't remember why she had started this but all she knew was that this was all she had.

Holding back tears she unscrewed the bottle and took one small slip, and it was all she needed, she h=just needed to feel it slide down her tongue, warming her body, knowing that when she needed comfort it was and would always be there.

A buzzing from her pocket zapped her back to reality. Digging into her pocket and pulling out her phone she scrolled down until she came to a text message from Carly telling her to meet her back at her apartment during lunch. She had no doubt heard about her getting kicked out of class from Freddie and wanted to go all motherly on her. Looking the time she noticed that she had been there for almost two hours, Carly must have really wanted to talk to her right away if it wouldn't wait until after school.

Picking up her backpack and throwing the class container in her bag and shoving her cell back into her pocket she made her way to Bushwell Plaza. She would probably make it to Bushwell before either Freddie or Carly did, considering she was right around the block.

Passing the Groovy Smoothie she was tempted to go inside and grab something to drink, but walked right past it when she indeed knew that she had no money left. The money she stole from her mother's wallet the day before was spent at the local drug store on more foundation and Cherry Halls©.

Crossing the street she came up to the large apartment complex she fixed her ratted appearance, smoothing out her now frizzy hair as she entered the elevator. It was quite as the noise door man at the entrance was currently having a nap inside his cramped office.

Stepping out of the elevator and down the hall she opened the door to the Shay's apartment, almost tripping over the large bundle of wire's in front of it.

Wire's, Christmas lights and red paint bucket's littered he floor. She couldn't really say she was surprised, most of the time the Shay household was covered in different art material, and she could only assume that it was for Spencer's latest sculpture.

Her suspicions were confirmed when she looked up. There was a large mass of galvanized wireturned and twisted until it made the shape of a heart, half of it was painted red, an abandoned brush lay flat on the floor.

Dropping her bag she approached it, noticing one large end of the wire was sticking out dangerously. Grabbing at it and pulling it down she tried to shove it back into its rightful place.

"SAM!" shocked she let go of it, moving back slightly as to make sure it wouldn't hit her as it bobbed up and down, "I didn't see you come in."

"I let myself in," she smiled.

"Shouldn't you be at school?" he asked setting a pair of pliers down beside some wire cutters on the island.

"Lunch."

"Where are Carly and Freddie?" he questioned.

"They'll be here in a second, I left a little early."

"Got kicked out again?"

"You know it."

"Not surprised," he chuckled, "Well since you're here do you want to help me with this little problem I have, it won't seem to stay down." proving his point by bending it down like Sam had before only for it to spring back up again.

"Sure, might as well."

"Awesome," he smiled; "Now just hold this down, and slip it under that wire right there so I can twist the end of it." he explained pointing to the small opening below.

Grabbing the wire she bent it down, maneuvering it under the wire Spencer had pointed out. After getting the plier's he leaned down just under Sam, and began to twist the end together.

Sam's breath came out a little heavier then usual, as the wire was thick and strong. Noticing this he looked up and asked if she needed to let go for a minute, in which she replied with a rigged no, and that's when it hit him. The smell. He knew that smell; he had smelt it many times before on his own breath and that of his friends after a night of partying.

Stopping for a moment he looked into her eyes, she smelled of stale alcohol, why she did he hadn't a clue, but all he knew is that it was strong. It didn't mean that she had consumed a lot, alcohol always had a very strong bitter smell, and he wouldn't even think of Sam drinking if he had smelled it on her clothes, because of the circumstances with her mother, but he could smell it on her breath, and that worried him. He knew that Sam could take care of herself, she was strong, and it still made him feel concerned, she was still underage and it was the middle of the day.

"What?" she asked, giving him another whiff of her breath. Scrunching up his nose he muttered something and went back to curling the wire.

"All done." he exclaimed tapping the wire to confirm that it was secure.

"Looks nice, who's it for?"

"A guy down town, he owns a tattoo parlour," he explained, still tapping the wire, he was running things through his mind, and was a little distracted, "he wants to propose to his girlfriend."

"That's nice."

"Yeah," he paused; he wondered if he should even ask the question. He didn't know if he should be worried about her, but he couldn't help but feel that way. Sam was like a little sister to him, and things usually bothered him about Sam because even small things like alcohol, she could somehow turn it into something more dangerous. She was always taking things too far and this was no acceptation.

It was making her nervous how Spencer was staring at her, this was so out of character for him, and at the same time it wasn't, he always seemed to zone in and out of things, it was really just the look he was giving her. Looking around the room and giving Spencer a minute to maul over this thought's and ran her tongue over her teeth. She hadn't had time to brush her teeth this morning and her mouth felt disgusting. It tasted of soda crackers and stale alcohol, and that's when it dawned on her, could he smell it? She wanted to keep her drinking habits unknown, she didn't want the lecture's about the dangers of it or anyone's concern, so she couldn't help but feel nervous about thinking that Spencer could know, "Sam…." he continued, grabbing her attention, "Have you been dr-" but was cut off by Carly bursting through the door yelling Sam's name.

"SAM!" she screamed running up to her friend, "What is this I hear about you being kicked out of class?"

"I'm guessing Fredward over here told you." she sighed, Freddie rolling his eyes at his full name.

"That doesn't matter, Sam you have got to just stop getting into fight's with Mrs. Costa, you need to pass that class in order to graduate!" she exclaimed, waving her arms for emphasis. Sam smiled, she couldn't help like the motherly side of Carly that she showed, and it was only for her. All the care and stress and even screaming was all for her, and she couldn't help but feel warm inside, that someone cared that much about her.

"I'm sorry Carls, I'll try harder not to get kicked out," she said patting her friend on her shoulder, "or pissing the teacher off, okay?"

"You promise?" she asked, her brown eyes look straight down into hers, Carly had gotten quite tall over the past year she noted, and nodded her head in agreement, making her best friend smile wide.

"And as a treat, "she said skipping over to the fridge and pulling out a tray, "Cupcakes for all!"

"CUPCAKES!" Spencer screamed, both the Shay's had a bad addiction to cupcakes, which Sam herself was thankful for because bribing her best friend with them had gotten her out of a lot of trouble.

"By the way Sammie," Freddie said finally speaking up, laughing, using that aweful nickname she despised as much as her full name, "Mrs. Costa mentioned you having a meeting with Principal Franklin yesterday"

"Freddie." she warned in a low tone.

"What meeting?" Carly asked her mouth full of the delicious treat.

Turning to glare at Freddie before averting her attention to the cupcake in her hand, "I just had a little talk with Ted yesterday."

Sam took a bite of her cupcake, "Well?" she yelled impatient after several seconds.

"Jesus Carly, it was nothing."

"If it was nothing, then why don't you tell her." Freddie piped up.

Sam turned around, "Maybe you should keep your mouth shut, and if you need some help I'll gladly be of some assistance," she threatened pulling her fist up to his face.

"Sam just tell me." she groaned.

"He was just giving me some advice about maybe attending more of my class," she turned around "and on time."

"That's it?" she asked.

"Yes Carly, I swear, that's it, now can I finish eating." and she shoved the entire thing in her mouth.

"Okay," Carly began, picking up the tray and setting it on the island closet to Spencer, who at some point went back over to his sculpture and started painting, "Since we have a few minutes left before we have to go back to school, should we go over some iCarly idea's now, or just wait until Sunday's meeting to go over some new stuff?"

"I think we are good for this week, everything's filled, and we can just wait until Sunday to go over any new stuff."

"You know I'm still going to that party on Sunday," she said when Carly looked at her for some input.

"What?" Freddie asked shocked as Sam walked past him and into the living room.

"You heard me."

"I know what you said, I just can't believe you are actually going," he explained following her into the living room.

"I have to agree Sam, have you heard the rumours about him?" Carly said in a worried tone.

"Do I really have to explain to you two of all people how I can take care of myself," she yelled.

"We know that Sam," Freddie said, "we just want you to be careful."

"I've heard the rumours, I'm not uneducated Fredweird," she huffed rolling her eyes, "and I don't need someone like you worrying over me, no I'm going, I'll be here for iCarly brainstorming and I'll come perfectly intact, okay?"

Carly nodded, and she didn't even look to see Freddie's reaction, "Now come on Carls, you wouldn't wanna be late for class," picking up their bags the two girls walked out the door, leaving Freddie behind with Spencer.

Adjusting his backpack he began to make his way for the door but was stopped by a hand on his sholder, "Hey man, do me a favour okay," he asked

"Yeah sure."

"Keep an eye on Sam, I think something's going on," he said, eyes never leaving the door, "and I don't want to worry Carly if this ends up being nothing."

Freddie turned around, fully facing him, "What do you mean?"

"Just do it okay?" he said nothing more as he went back over to his sculpture, it was a little odd seeing Spencer like that.

"Yeah, okay." was all he said as he left to catch up to his two female friends.

And that's how the rest of the week went. Sam drinking late at night, coming to school late and trying to avoid Principal Franklin. She made good due on keeping her promise to Carly and didn't start any fight's with her science teacher. She was more careful to make sure that she took a shower and brushed her teeth before she left her house. She didn't know if Spencer smelt anything or even suspected anything but she wasn't going to take any more chances. She noticed lately that Freddie was also looking at her a lot, like he was watching her every move, waiting for her to do something out of line, and it annoyed her, it was harder to sneak off during class into the girls bathroom when you have someone breathing down your throat. They also did iCarly on Friday, and she even managed to show up on time to show Carly that she was committed to iCarly and her promise.

The week was a blur, and the next thing she knew, she was standing outside an unfamiliar home, ready to ring to doorbell.

* * *

><p><strong>Disclaimer; I do not own iCarly or any of the Characters.<strong>

**This chapter is more of a filler, sorry, but oooh, Spencer is suspicious.**

**I'm not really entirely happy with this chapter, I kinda hate it, and have been debating on if I should even post it, but here it is anyway.**

**Also, I promise Freddie will have a bigger roll later on, I'm just trying to establish some things before then, but things will really be taking off after chapter six, so look forward to that.**

**If any of you have twitter tell me, I recently have gotten it and I love it. My link is in my profile, so if you have it and want to talk look me up and we can chat.**

**I want to thank everyone who is reading this and for all the comments, favourites and alerts, it makes me happy **

**Also a big thank you to jhuikmn08, she has been so nice to me since I started this story. You should check out her story iAm What? I really love it. :D**

**Enjoy **


	5. Chapter 4: So Damn Hot

**Chapter Four; So Damn Hot**

_You don't love me at all,  
>(oooooooh)<br>but don't think that it bothers me at all.  
>(ooooooooh)<br>You're a bad-hearted boy-trap, babydoll, but you're...  
>You're so damn hot.<br>-Ok Go_

She wasn't nervous when she knocked on the door, she didn't have to prep herself or talk herself up before doing so. Sam was usually quite confident in her own right, and the pre party drinks she had before walking out of her house probably contributed to this fearless feeling, though she would never admit to actually consuming the drinks because of that fact.

When Devon answered the door it didn't even irritate her that he didn't seem all that enthusiastic about her being there, she was calm at the moment. Stepping into the small house Devon led her down into the basement. She liked his house. It was small but cozy, soft coloured cream walls, companied by a plush red carpet. Expensive art work hung against them, along with small chandeliers that hung high on the ceiling. It amazed her that someone like Devon lived in such a beautiful and serene place.

The basement was a huge contrast to the colourful upstairs. The cold cement floor stung her naked skin, resulting in her standing on the balls of her feet in attempt to keep her them warm. The white walls where covered with writing, inside jokes, friends names and signatures, and very graphic and inappropriate drawings. There were two small three setter couches places diagonally from each other, along with a small recliner making the small room feel cramped, the soft blue mat in the center being the only thing even resembling the comfort of the upper rooms.

"Time to start the party," he smiled, making himself comfortable on the couch.

"Come on Sam, come join us," someone said once they noticed she hadn't moved from my spot in front of the stairs. She recognized him from her science class, but couldn't in her impaired state remember his name, but he was cute, really cute. Dirty blonde hair hung over bright green eyes, and she couldn't help but smile when he beamed at her to join them.

Her vision was slightly blurred around the edges, making her line of vision short and restricted as she made her way over to Devon's side. In the process of making her way over, her foot tugged on the underside of the fluffy carpet, causing her body to lurch forward, her knee's coming in contact with the ground, in front of the highly stocked table, -though not with what she was expecting. There were a variety of chips and dip, two types of candy and a large bowl of popcorn, there was no alcohol.

"Looks like someone already started a party on her own," laughed another one of the nameless guys.

"Come sit up here," Devon said annoyed, she assumed that he wasn't happy that she showed up, hoping that it would be her highly more attractive best friend instead. She would make it regret it, oh she would, just wait.

She carefully climbed up onto the cushion, making sure not to lose control over her limbs, and it sunk in under her weight from countless others who have occupied the seat.

"So, where's the alcohol, I came over here to get drunk, not for a pop and chip party," she grumped irritated, eyeing the food on the table. Though it did look tasty, she was Sam Puckett after all.

"Then why don't you leave," he shot back.

"I doubt you would like that," she smirked "I'm the only thing keeping this from becoming a total sausage fest." she giggled to herself, along with the other three guys.

"She's got a point man." Said nameless guy number two.

Devon got up ignoring the laughter coming from his friends, he never liked to be the victim of such childish jokes, but rather the one who inflicts them. Pulling up his bag from beside the couch he pulled out a large brown paper bag, one that people would use for bagged lunches, but she knew it didn't contain any food.

"That's all the alcohol you got man?" the boy with the pretty green eyes asked, "You think that's gonna get us smashed?"

Devon laughed, "Believe me this is all were going to need," he pulled out the bottle, the tag had been ripped off, almost as if he was trying to hide what occupied the glass,white pieces of the wrapper stuck to the bottle from the glue, "This is Everclear."

"Holy shit man, how did you get that?" guy number one yelled in excitement, making Sam more curious as to what was making them so enthusiastic.

"I got it when I went to visit my cousins in Idaho," he explained twisting the light gold cap off the large bottle, "It was a bitch to get here, had to make sure the parents didn't see it."

"What makes it so different from regular alcohol?" she couldn't contain her curiosity any more, she was hopping that if she listened long enough she would get the gist of the conversation and wouldn't have to reveal that she was in fact clueless.

"This shit right here little lady," Pretty eyes said smiling his perfect smile at her, "has a 190 proof, making this shit 95% alcohol."

Her eye widened, the strongest alcohol she had was nothing compared to this. She was excited and fearful at the same time, her lips tingling, she knew that a percentage so high was dangerous, but she didn't care. She just might steal anything left over once they pass out and save it for later.

"Now," Devon started pouring the substance into a few shot glass, making sure to deluge a more generous amount into hers, thought at the time she didn't notice because she was so concentrated on his face, she later would regret not paying more attention to her surroundings, "do you think you can handle a shot?"

"Of course," she smirked sarcastically grabbing the small pink shot glass from his hand. She smelt it out of habit, coughing slightly at the strong smell, it smelled like nail polish remover. The boys around her had already taken there small shots of the Everclear, leaving her to accomplish her task.

"Come on cutie, bottoms up!" Pretty eyes laughed his green eyes darker and clouded over, the alcohol already taking its effect.

Nervously she brought the glass up to her mouth, careful not to spill any of its contents as it was filled to the brim. Careful as to not smell it she parted her lips, looking around she could see the boys around her laughing and couching her on to drink. Taking a shaky breath she quickly poured the substance down her throat, and immediately regretted it. Her breathed hitched and she left out a small yelp, her throat burned and her lungs felt like they were closing in. Her stomach jerked, she could feel the effects almost right away, and she loved and hated it at the same time.

She was relieved when one of the boys handed her a soda to wash the taste out of her mouth. Her breath still ragged and uneven, but slowly and surly it was beginning to calm down. Though her stomach was still kicking her for what she just did.

"There you go Sweetcheeks,"

Her head became fuzzy, usually it took a few drinks before she got to this point, but the Everclear hit her fast and hard, and she was in love. She smiled and leaned her head back onto the back of the sofa. She was smiling and laughing once in a while, her skin becoming hot and sticky underneath her hoodie.

She moaned, sitting up straight and fanning her face, and tugging at the ends of the material that was refusing her cool air. Opening her eyes her view was filled with yellow and green.

"You hot Sweetcheeks?" He smoothed his cool hand over her cheeks, and she moaned at the touch.

"Here, take another shot," he gestured to the pink little glass, "and then I'll help you with your little problem."

He brought the delicate little crystal to her mouth and she jerked away, gasping as the horrible smell attacked her senses for the second time that night.

"No," she whined, pushing him and the glass away, "No more."

"Come on," he urged her, "When you do, I'll help you with your hoodie, you want to cool off right." he smiled gently at her.

She nodded pathetically, pouting her lips. He smiled bring it back to her mouth once again and finally succeeding in literally almost dumping the liquid down her throat. Swallowing hard she almost screamed, her lungs suffering once again, her chest heaving up and down in a panic. Once she felt she almost caught up with her breath another class of liquid was brought up into her face, this time her soda, which she greeted with open arms.

"There you go," he said, setting the class back down on the coffee table, "Now let's take care of your little problem."

At the side she could hear Devon snort, not impressed that his friend was paying so much attention to someone he didn't even know if he even wanted at the party.

Pretty eyes just laughed at him and his immature antics, averting his attention onto the intoxicated girl in front of him. "Arm's up Sweetcheeks." Sam lifted her arms slowly, feeling like they weighed a ton, and rested them onto the back of the couch.

He lifted the small gray sweat shirt up, along with the light blue shirt underneath, riding it up until it stopped under her chest from the cute little bow knotted around her ribcage. Struggling she arched her back to give him better leverage and he finally managed to lift her hoodie over her shoulder's and head, throwing it over to the side.

All he could do was stare. When Sam had picked her outfit earlier that day she was not at all expecting to ever be taking off her hoodie, so underneath her jacket was a very small and revealing spaghetti strap shirt that lead down into a deep V-neck, showing off her very decent sized assists, leaving her exposed, not that she cared in her buzzed state. But that wasn't to say there weren't other's that didn't.

Boy number one and two were smirking at her, nudging each other in the ribs and laughing. Pretty eyes was smiling that very attractive smile at her, making her giggle, while Devon was sneaking glances at her from the side, interested in the turning events of the party.

To everyone Sam Puckett was a very loud and abrasive girl, someone you feared, and if you looked at her the wrong way you would be an unfortunate victim to that fear. Not many people got a good glimpse at her because of that fact, so they were all pleasantly surprised when they got a front row seat to this little showing.

Pretty eyes wedged his way between her and the end of the couch, pushing her closer to Devon in the process. She groaned trying to push herself up, falling sideways after her cute companion had pushed her over quite harshly. Devon was trying to ignore her, he was angry at the fact he found her attractive, after spending too much time bad mouthing her before the party he was already angry that she ended up being even remotely appealing to him.

Grabbing onto Devon's arm she hoisted herself up. He looked down at her once she made contact with his shoulder, trying to keep the thought of the fact that he really didn't mind. Looking into her clouded blue eyes hinting to him that she was completely gone by now. He was about to move away when he felt a tug on his arm, he could feel who it was, and it wasn't just because he knew that she was sitting extremely close to him, but because he could feel two large soft mounds on either side of his arm.

He couldn't help but look, she looked so hot to him, clouded bright blue eyes, flushed cheeks, pouting lips and enough of her chest exposed to put him over the edge. He wasn't going to let an opportunity like this pass him, he knew who he was, and he knew what he wanted, and right now she was more than willing to give him anything as long as he said it in the proper way, and he was around enough drunk girls in his life to know what to say.

"Darlin'" he said in the sweetest voice he could muster, "what are you doing?" he laughed, and she couldn't help but giggle. He was being so sweet now, and she loved it, she craved it, he was paying attention to her and no other girl, not that he really had a choice since she was the only girl, but she didn't care.

Amused by her tiny girlish giggles he leaned forward, grabbing the more than full bottle and flashed a sugary smile at her, "I think you need some more" she shook her head, talking had become difficult, and she was afraid at what she would say.

"Come on Darlin', you want to make me happy right, I don't want to have to go away." He beamed at his success at his carefully chosen words, looking at her almost frightened blinking eyes. He had struck a chord. He knew what kind of girl she was, give her a compliment here, sprinkle a little affection there and then there yours.

"Here, we'll share it," he explained by pouring some of the bottle's contents into his mouth, and being careful not to swallow, his eyebrows knitted together as he tried not to gag at the bitter taste.

Sam stiffened as Devon's lips crushed against her own, his index and thumb pressed firmly on her lower cheek near her jaw bone, forcing her mouth open and willing let the hot liquid spill into her awaiting mouth.

He released her, Sam gasping for air, whining, her eyes slightly watering. She couldn't take any more of the awful drink they boys were shoving down her throat, and shoved her face into Devon's neck.

Her mind kept zoning in and out, she couldn't see Devon's face anymore, and the scent of alcohol was slightly less noticeable, but she could faintly pick out the smell of Cinnamon, and suddenly the feeling of being unsafe tightened in her chest. She felt like she was having one of those very cliché flash backs to a time when she had felt comfortable in this very position, but couldn't remember exactly when, her mind to over shadowed. Cinnamon.

Jerking back to reality she noticed Devon smiling at her, she could hear compliments being whispered into her ear. She sighed slightly, still not being able to shake the feeling of danger from her gut. She suddenly felt a small breath on her neck, shivering from the feeling and the arms bound tightly around her waist, she looked back to see Pretty eyes gazing back at her.

"Wanna have some fun Darlin'?" Devon asked gently, Pretty eyes planting small kisses down her neck and back. She felt exposed, but the feeling was only brief as the alcohol continued to work its magic on her body.

"Come on," he chuckled, lifting her small body up. She was mostly dead weight now, she felt her mind detach from her body, and she knew what was going to happen.

"I promise this will be fun." he flashed that smile again that sent warning lights off in her head, telling her that she need to get up and run, but she ignored them completely.

The last thing she remembered was being placed on her knee's in front of Devon, before blacking out entirely.

Maybe she was the one who would regret tonight.

**Disclaimer; I do not own iCarly or any of the Characters.**

**There you go!**

**I PROMISE that this is a seddie story for those who don't know where this is going, there are just some things that NEED to be established first.**

**Chapter Six and Nine will be interesting I hope for all the Seddie lovers, and then after that the Seddie in this story will really pick up, just be patient and bear with me please!**

**I even have this so far planned out as to what I even expect to happen if I continue this story into another part :)**

**And lastly, have I even mentioned what grade they are in, because sadly I can't remember, ahhh! I'm so bad!**

**So I hope you enjoy this, if you don't like something or think that the characters are not in character, review, it's nice to know what you think should happen **


	6. Chapter 5: They Say

**Chapter Five: They Say**

_They say I'm changing  
>Cause there all doing the same thing<br>I bet you think that I'd fly away from you  
>But i wouldn't do that<br>Now they say that I'm crazy  
>Cause i wanna do it my way<br>I bet you think that I'd fly away from you  
>But i wouldn't do that<br>-Chris Brown_

* * *

><p>Sam arrived to school not particularly early, but earlier than she would admit she would consider ever being. The walk to the school had been anything but pleasant, even though Devon's house was only a short walk to Ridgeway, she struggled to gain the strength to lug herself the two miles.<p>

Entering the school she noticed that only a handful of students littered the halls, most of the students either got their parents to drive them or arrived on the later busses. Most likely Carly had already made it, she made it a habit of arriving early, but she was silently hoping that she herself had arrived before her perky brunette friend.

When she rounded the corner she was surprised to notice Carly hadn't arrived, she was shocked she had made it so early. Spinning the dial on her lock she opened her locker, candy wrappers and soda bottles fell out. She thought about maybe cleaning up her locker for a moment before looking around and kicking them over into the corner beside her locker.

Moving the remaining garbage around in the small metal space, she lifted her bunched up sweat shirt into the far back corner, covering it with the extra junk in her locker to almost fully cover the pants, she hadn't brought her backpack yesterday nor did she have time to go home, or want to, so she was left in the stench tight top and baggy kaki short she had on since early the night before. She smiled to herself, feeling proud that she managed to become conscience before the boys and before she left, grabbing the bottle of alcohol and booked it out of there.

Actually if she admitted it to herself, it didn't quite go down like that. When she woke up this morning she felt like she might die from the enormous head ache she had obtained from the night before. Food and drinks where everywhere, scattered around the floor, the only light coming from the small lamp in the corner of the room as there were no windows. It took her a minute to realize where she was, and figure out what had happened last night, but she couldn't. She couldn't remember anything from the time pretty eyes approached her to the time she woke up in a daze that morning, and usually it wouldn't bother her, and it didn't, until she noticed something out of place.

She felt cold, she realized that she didn't have her hoodie on anymore, when had she taken it off? Her body hurt and felt stiff, her back screaming at her in pain from the position she had been left on the ground. The room smelt disgusting, like smoke and alcohol, and the same applied to her mouth, except it had a hint of a salty taste, and the more aware she became the harsher the taste in her mouth seemed to get.

Sticking her lounge out hoping th air would suck the sticking flavour off her tongue, she got up slowly, careful not to disturb the sleeping boys around her, and to also not anger the large head ache.

Looking around nothing seemed that different then what she could spot from the ground, except the fact that she could see Devon's face clearer, and was slightly confused. He had a slight smile on his face and was resting his head against the hand rest of the couch, his limbs sprawled in all different directions, but what she noticed that was off, was the fact that he was almost completely naked, except for the white and green striped boxer. She scoffed at this, stripes.

From her view she spotted her gray sweater bunched up in the corner. Picking up her the discarded piece of clothing she noticed a pair of denim pants underneath and a black shirt not to far off. The pants were covered in stains obtained throughout the years and some that even looked like they are fresh enough that they came from last night. One particular stain caught her eye, it was a large white stain on the front of his pants, she rolled her eyes at his disgusting mess, kicking the pants away from her, when she heard a low moan coming from behind her.

Turning around she saw Devon stir. She froze in her spot, waiting for him to settle back down into a comfortable position. She didn't know why she was so jumpy, she was so used to being on edge at home, and around most people daily, that it just seemed the norm to her. Once she felt safe enough to move she made her way towards the stairs, experiencing the feeling of uncertainty in her stomach, her pace quickened as she made it her way towards the door.

But not before stealing the left over's.

Which brought her to where she was now, leaning up against her open locker, head pounding, tired and cold, she debated going home, but she knew Dave was there, and she couldn't deal with him right now, let alone fight him off if he got to close. She was stuck, she couldn't miss school, but she didn't think she could face the rest of the day. Slamming her head against the locker and sighed heavily, her mind was still slightly fuzzy and she knew she wasn't in a state where she would even consider making an effort to care.

She was jerked out of her thoughts by a large slam, the sound was melt being forced upon melt and it rung through her ears, making her hiss in pain. She didn't even need to turn to see who it was, she could feel her, and it was quite obvious who was filling the once empty space beside her.

"Where were you!" she yelled, it was a mix of anger and concern, "Me and Freddie waited for you for two hours, you promised you would be there!"

"I know it's just that, I'm not feeling to well." she complained, letting out a whiny grunt. She turned around to face her tall friend, sticking her bottom lip out, "I'm sorry."

Carly's face seemed to melt at the sight of her friend's appearance, and she hated herself for it. She had to stop treating her like she was a child, it wasn't doing any good for either of them, but she couldn't help it, they needed each other in certain ways she couldn't even being to explain.

"Sam, you look awful." she said wide eyed as she took in her friend's appearance. Her usually smooth blonde hair was frizzy and tangled, her eyes were watering from what seemed to be a bad head ache, coming from the fact she was holding her head in pain.

Her expression turned to that of slight annoyance as she dropped her bag to the ground and opened her locker, that she had slammed earlier for dramatic effect to get her blonde friends attention. She dug through her locker for a minute, digging into the back and pulled out a small white cylinder, and dumped two small white pills, before closing the lid and placing it neatly back in its place in her locker, all the while grumbling about, apologizes and acting like a child.

"Here, take these." she said, grabbing her hand and dropping the tablets into it, and went back to digging through her little home away from home.

"Where's your sweater?" she questioned her in a tone that made Sam feel like she was being talked down to, "You're going to freeze."

Calmly she turned her attention back to her locker, not saying a word. She sometimes didn't know how to react to Carly when she got this way. She treated her like she was a child in need, Sam knew she didn't mind Carly's motherly way, in fact she found them endearing, but when she got into what Sam liked to refer to as "Benson Mother Mode" she usually kept quiet.

Untangling the glass bottle from its warm bed she laid it down horizontally, quickly recovering it, and slipping her hoodie up over her head just as Carly appear with a brush and elastic.

"Now," she shoved the plastic container into her hand," Take the Aspirin© and I'll fix your hair." she smiled brightly, and began to gently brush her hair, trying her best not to hurt her.

"No offence Sam, but you could use a shower or some perfume, you stink!" she exclaimed.

"I was in a rush."

"Well, maybe you could come over tonight and we could get you clean you up, you haven't been over in a while." she said as she finished off her bride, securing it with an elastic.

"I might, but I should probably go home, my mom might need me." If she told herself the truth it was because she didn't really know if she could be away from any sort of alcohol for that long, and that kind of scared her, "besides, I'm feeling better." she lied.

"Well, now that you're feeling better, I won't feel that bad about yelling at you," she explained sternly, "You can't go around scaring us like that, we were worried when you didn't answer your phone, I thought something bad had happened."

"I said I was sorry."

"Sam," she sighed frustrated, "You scared us, Freddie even called your house!"

That caught her attention, Freddie called her house. What had her mother said, did she tell him were she was, she panicked. Though, if they called her house, why did Carly believe her when she said she was sick?

"He called my house?" she asked fearfully.

"Yeah, but he said no one answered."

"Oh…" was all she could say, and she relaxed a bit.

"Yeah," Carly asked suspiciously, "We should probably get to class though, so get your books and I'll walk with you."

"Actually Carls," she began, closing her locker, "I think I'm going to go to the nurses office and lay down."

"Are you sure?" she asked her, "Do you want me to walk you there?"

"No, you'll be late for class; I'll see you at lunch okay?"

She didn't let Carly finish as she ran down the hall.

* * *

><p>When Sam made it to second period Freddie himself hadn't even made it, she felt slightly proud of herself for again making it to class on time.<p>

When she had finally escaped from the nurse, after fifteen minutes of trying to convince her that she was in fact okay and she did not have a contagious virus she had stopped by her locker to grab her books, hoping to avoid another fight between her and Mrs. Costa. Principal Franklin still hadn't approached her for her outburst and she was happy to keep it that way, though she had a feeling it wouldn't stay like that for long.

Her head was still hurting, and she was regretting leaving the nurses office, but she was giving her more of a head ache then even Freddie could. Placing her books onto the table she began to massage her temples hoping it would calm the pounding in her head.

Once she felt her head had settled down she sighed in relief, stretching out her arm out in front of herself and leaning her head onto it, making herself comfortable in a very displeasing position. Just as she felt herself relax, she heard a loud noise beside her of books being slapped down onto the table.

"Hey." He said, ignoring her loud cry of protest.

"So, what happened yesterday?" he asked.

"I was sick," lifting her lower arm up and pointed to herself, "Can you not see that."

"Hmm…really, because that's not what Dave said when I called your house last night." he explain bluntly.

At that Sam sat up straight in her seat, stund. She didn't know what to say, he talked to Dave, he could have said anything, plus neither Freddie nor Carly even new about him, she didn't think it would last the first time she found out they were dating, and after he had become more permanent she decided not to tell them about him because she felt so uncomfortable talking about it.

"Carly said you couldn't get a hold of anyone." She challenged, trying to keep her composure.

"I see you've been talking to Carly, she was in the bathroom when I called."

"Oh, lying to Carly now are we, that's a big step for you." she teased.

"I wanted to ask you who Dave was first."

"I don't know, you should know by now my mother has random guys over all the time." It's not like she was really lying, she hardly knew Dave and her mother did have random guys at her house, even when she was dating Dave.

"Hmm…, alright, well, where were you, because you weren't at home, and Devon's party was yesterday, this Dave guy says that his 'little Sammie wasn't at home' and to call him if we saw you, sounds like he knows you quite well."

"He's my mother's new boyfriend."

"How new?"

"New enough."

"Yeah, that's not vague." he scoffed sarcastically.

"What's wrong with you, you're not acting very Fredward like." she teased.

"Yeah well, after having to console a panicked Carly and calling your phone and house none stop for two hours I don't feel like having to deal with you right now, she was really upset you know." he explain, picking at the edges of his warn out text book.

"I spoke to her this morning, we're good, I just wasn't feeling well so couldn't make it to rehearsal."

"Really," he asked, "Well this Dave guy said you had left and hadn't returned, and that was about 11."

"Your mother let you stay up that long?" she smirked.

"She's gone, and I'm a little surprised at you right now."

"Why?" she spat.

"You promised Carly you would make it, you didn't show up or even call her, and she spent all night worried about where you were."

"I told you, we talked, I was sick."

"I can't for the life of her understand why you keep repeating the lie when I had obviously caught you, Devon's Party was last night, you come to school….looking the way you do," he said, pointing out her hair and clothes, "and the fact that you weren't even home at 11, leads me to believe that you never even made it home."

"So?"

"It's just that, we were worried Sam, you went to Devon's house, I don't trust him Sam, and either does Carly, and that just added to the panic."

"It's fine Freddie, nothing happened."

Silence was between them for the rest of that class.

* * *

><p><strong>Disclaimer; I do not own iCarly or any of the characters.<strong>

**I know that this chapter is not at all exciting, and all, but I can't just dump all the good stuff into every chapter, but I have epicness planned in about 3 or 4 more chapters, so look forward to that.**

**I also chanced what grade they were in, they are now in their senior year.**

**Also, in exciting news iParty with Victorious is on tomorrow :D and I saw the promo for the new iCarly episode iLost my mind, and I jumped out of my seat, I was so excited, until I saw the air date, then the eccitment kind of warn off, I mean AUGUST! REALLY!**

**Ugh, well until then, enjoy.!**

**P.S. for all those who are wondering, Sam did NOT get raped, just to make that clear. Can anyone guess what did go down though?**

**also, THERE WILL BE NO RAPE IN THIS STORY!**

**so do not worry, I think that rape is I wouldn't call it a bad story line but not the most original and not one to be taken lightly, so if someone was going to do a story on rape, it has to pretty much be the intire story line, NOT something to be blown off.**

**That was long and pointless.**


	7. Chapter 6: Day Old Hate

**Chapter Seven: Day Old Hate**

_So let's face it, this was never what you wanted  
>But I know it's fun to pretend<br>Now blank stares and empty threats  
>Are all I have, they're all I have.<br>So drown me, and if you can  
>Or we could just have conversation.<br>And I fall, I fall, I falter  
>But I'll find you, before I drift away<br>-City and Color_

* * *

><p>"Mom?" she asked into the empty hallway, leaning onto the wall for support.<p>

Waking up that morning wasn't as brutal as the previous nights, she hadn't had a run in with either Dave or her mother, which lead her to believe that she was either asleep or passed out somewhere in the house.

"Mom?" she yelled again. She had woke up late this morning, making her miss the bus, and need a ride to school, that is, if her mother was capable of giving her a ride.

"Mom?" she asked one more time, peeking into the room her mother usually occupied, and saw nothing. The room was empty, clothes scattered all around, 2 or 3 discarded beer bottles and a ripped comforter. It looked like the room had been trashed.

"Gross." She muttered, stepping into the room. She wondered where her mother could have gone, it wasn't unusual for her to get up and go, but most of the time she herself was aware of this a few days before, as she would see the suite cases pulled out of the hallway closet.

Walking atop of the trash and forgotten clothes she made her way over to her mother's bed. Nothing much had changed in the room since her father had left, everything was pretty much the same, just older and covered in dust, she assumed her mother hadn't touched anything since the man's departure.

Kneeling down at the side of the bed she lifted the comforter that had slightly fallen to the side, throwing it over the top of the matters. Leaning down she maneuvered herself so that she was able to get a clear view of under the bed. There was a mountain of abandoned bottle and orange juice containers used as mixers under the bed. She began digging throw the large amount of bottle, the glass hitting each other, admitting loud clangs. She knew that somewhere in the mess was a full or at least half bottle of something lying under there.

Once she managed to grab onto one that she felt was half full she began to pull it out, when she spotted something from the corner of her eye. Sliding the bottle out from under the bed by her feet she reached her arm further under the bed, sticking her finger into the side of the box where a small whole was located.

Bumping her head on the metal of the bed frame, she freed herself from the small space. Rubbing off the dust from the top, she noticed that it was a old show box. It seemed that it had been under the bed, untouched, for years.

"Mom, are you here?" she yelled once more for good measure. Stealing alcohol form her mother was one thing, but stealing her possessions was another.

When she received no response after several seconds she opened it, and was shocked. There was a large pile of old photos, one's old enough dating back from when her parents were married, and onces as recent as to her 6th birthday. She had never seen any of these before, and wondered why. What was her mother hiding from her?

Shuffling through them she pulled one from her parents' marriage. Her mother was wearing a hideous, puff sleeved dress, and she laughed. They looked so young and carefree and most of all happy, something she couldn't remember her parents ever truly being. With a slight smile on her face she placed it back in the box, and pulled out another.

It was of her and Melanie on Halloween; she was about four and was dressed up as a little devil, and devious smile on her face, her sister as an angel. She smiled at the irony. She actually remember soe of that day, she ended up beating up some of the other boys when they made fun of her sister, and cried when she had to be taken home without any candy, thankful that day she had a sister who got enough for the both of the and was willing to share.

The next one tugged at her heart, and brought tears to her eyes. It was the last photo that was taken of her and her father before he left. He was holding her on his shoulders, it was the Fourth of July, and she could see the glare of the brightly coloured fireworks lighting their skin. Her eyes were wide and full of wonder as she looked up at the sky. Her father smiled slightly looking up at the sky.

She could see herself, young and happy, where she could laugh without worry and wear her heart on her sleeve. She was sitting in front of the couch, juice box in hand and a smile on her face as she looked up into her father's eyes. He smiled back at her, beer bottle in hand.

She could hear herself ask him if she could have some of his juice, she shared hers so we wondered why he wouldn`t let her try some of his.

"This is for big kids Princess," he would tell her gently, ``It`s a special drink for older people.``

She would look at him with a curiously with childlike innocence, ``Why do you like to drink it so much?`` she would question.

``It makes me feel better." he said carefully.

"Like if you have a tummy ache?" she would blink questionably.

"Not exactly Princess, sometimes adults feel stressed, and it….makes them feel happy." trying to choose his words carefully, but his mind was fuzzy and he couldn't find the words to explain it to his baby girl.

"Like magic?" she would ask in wide eyed delight.

He would smile at her efforts to understand his world, her big blue eyes filled with questions that he could never answer, but he loved her all the same, she was his little Princess, and she always would be. Mother would tell her that daddy was sick, we she couldn't see it, but they had taken Melanie away because daddy was too sick. Auntie and Uncle took Melanie to live with them, but she didn't know where, and her young mind couldn't process why, but she felt okay with it.

"Yes Princess, like magic." and he would reach out and take her golden locks into his hands and run his fingers through them.

"Wow!" she giggled.

"Now Princess, me and mommy need to talk, so you need to go into your room and play with your Baby Doll." and he would pick her up gently, holding her tightly in his arms. He would bring her into her room and lay her softly on her bed, and would then lovingly place a kiss on her forehead.

"I love you daddy." she would beam, and he would mumble a quite response and would close the door.

After a while she remembered she would hear screaming, the sounds of things being thrown across the room and her mother crying. She must have been sad that daddy was sick. She would then curl up under her covers, holding her Baby Doll to her chest and pray for daddy to get better.

She was so young, she didn't understand what was really going on, she didn't understand why mommy cried at night, or why daddy didn't come home till early morning or for weeks on end, and she was petrified when the big men with bright lights on their cars took her daddy away.

Mommy cried for so long, and she would try everything to make her smile again, but she never did.

He was in a hopeless pursuit of that magical time when he was happy. Before the alcohol short circuited his electric brain and pickled his conscience. Before he experience the agonizing pain of waking up after a nightly black out, then bleak mornings and days full of anxiety and doubt.

He would grab that first cold bottle of beer each night as if it were going to transport him and his problems to _good times past_. Instead, it leads him to a place where pills and alcohol were needed to put him down for the night.

He would drift into a world of nightmares, and paralyzing fear because he couldn't stop, and she followed him, because she loved him so much.

She followed him into his whole of distress and depression, because she couldn't let go of him. She could feel her eyes becoming moist and she sucked in an icy breath to hold them back.

She couldn't pull out any more, memories flooding her mind that she tried so long to forget. The tears started to escape from her eyes, and her breath caught in her throat. Why did he have to leave her alone, she was so scared and he left her, she thought he loved her.

Shoving to picture into her pocket, if she had to live with these memories she felt that she deserved this, her mother sure as hell didn't, she didn't love him like she did, he was her everything when she was younger.

Holding the bottle of liquid close to her chest, she grabbed the lid to the shoe box and was about to shove it back to its rightful place when she heard the shuffle of shoes. Turning around she spotted Dave.

His tall stature blocking the door, his dark hair was greasy hair was pulled back into a low pony tail, and his eyes clouded and dark.

"This explains a lot."

She quickly turned her face almost as soon as she spotted him, not wanting him to see her like this, it gave him an opening to attack.

"Sammie, if you wanted some alcohol all you had to do was ask." he stated, moving from his position on the door frame.

"No it's, it's okay." she said, trying to collect her composure, she could see his shadow covering her.

"Next time you want some," he began, kneeling down behind her, placing his hands on her shoulders, "Come to me and I'll give you what you want."

He brushed her frizzy hair behind her ear, then traveling the length of her hair down to her lower back, and continued down until her paint line, letting his hand linger there.

"For a price of course." he breathed into her ear. She shivered, her breath hitching in her throat again. She could feel the sudden feeling of danger again that she felt around Devon and his friends.

"What's the matter Sammie?" he asked, grabbing her by the chin and turning her head towards him, "Why so sad?" he said as he took in her expression. Her lips were red and swollen, as were her cute flushed cheeks, and he loved it, right down to her bloodshot eyes.

"You know you know you can tell me anything." he smirked, and kissed her on the cheek.

Panicked she jumped up from her stop, making him release the slight grip he had to her body. He was too close, and she couldn't take the twisting and nervous feeling her stomach kept admitting.

"I'm fine, really I am." and she turned around and began to run, but was jerked back by a sudden tug on her arm.

"Don't forget, I'm always here if you need me." and with that he released her.

She didn't hesitate to run out of the room and slam the door to her own. She was becoming more afraid and nervous around him, he was so much more bold when her mother wasn't around.

Taking the picture out of her pocket, she gave it a glance, her mind was blank when she looked at it, but her heart was sore. Walking over to her night stand she set the picture against a old soda can, and popped the cap off the bottle.

* * *

><p><strong>Disclaimer; I do not own iCarly or any of the characters.<strong>

**This is a short chapter but a very important one, a lot of the stories plot revolves around it. **

**Next chapter there will interaction between Sam and Freddie so look forward to that, because something big happens in it which leads Freddie to somewhat confront Sam.**

**So I hope that I am keeping your interest, even though I'm getting the feeling most people either have lost interest or do not like this, I'm hoping next chapter will recapture the attention.**

**I wrote this today since I have to day off, so I decided to post it. Also since next chapter will be quite long, it might not be up for a while, give or take a week. **

**Enjoy!**


	8. Chapter 7: In Hiding

**Chapter Seven: In Hiding**

_I swallow my words to keep from lying  
>I swallow my face just to keep from biting, I, I..<br>I swallowed my breath and went deep, I was diving, diving  
>I surfaced when all of my pen wasn't writing<br>-Pearl Jam_

* * *

><p>"-and then he asked me out for this Saturday!" Carly gushed. Sam couldn't quite comprehend what Carly was talking about, she felt like she was drifting in and out of a daze.<p>

After her run in with David yesterday and the discovery of the pictures under her mother's bed, she felt disoriented, like her mind was shut down and her body on auto pilot. She hadn't changed her clothes or bothered to shower, her hair was slicked back into a high pony tail and she knew she probably smelled of old cigarettes and cheap beer, but her mind hadn't registered it yet.

"Sam!" Carly yelled annoyed.

"What?" She whined, pressing her cheek harder into the cold metal of the locker.

"Have you been listening to anything I've been saying?" she complained.

Straightening herself up she stared into her eyes, gathering up enough energy to flash a smile at her, nodding her head. She assumed from the last part of the one sided conversation that she had been raving about some boy.

"Probably not." Freddie commented, coming up behind her, earning an exhausted glare form Sam.

"Well…" she continued, ignoring the silent argument between the two, "Brandon says that he's going to take me to that new restaurant down the street from the old Carlson Hotel."

"Awesome, they probably got that fancy soap that's shaped like…stuff." Sam giggled subconsciously, earning an odd glimpse from her friends.

"Anyway, you got a date?" he asked running his fingers through his hair awkwardly, hoping that the answer to his question would be to his advantage. Sam just rolled her eyes, mumbling something about him being pathetic and unloved.

"Yeah, with Brandon Weskit," she smiled dreamily, looking like she was off into her own world. Probably dreaming about their wedding day and how many children they would have, they would probably have a dog. Sam thought she looked really stupid.

"Who's Brandon?" she asked seriously after a few minutes.

Carly said nothing; mouth slightly ajar, like she couldn't believe what had come out of her friend's mouth. Shaking her head like "No she couldn't have really said that", and walked away, letting out a snort.

Once she was out of sight, Sam crashed into the lockers once more. Her body was still digesting the alcohol from the night before, working off almost no sleep. How could she when her mother, who came back late into the night, were doing, well she didn't really feel like making any assumption on what they were doing.

"So," Freddie said suddenly, "What's up with you?" Sam gasped slightly, forgetting his presence for a moment. She usually wasn't caught off guard like that, after a while of living with her mother and many men; she learned to never let her guard down.

"I'm not feeling well." She explained, like it was obvious.

"Yeah, that seems to be the general consensus lately." He replied, shifting his body as he was prepared to walk away, but was stopped suddenly by the sound of a body slamming into a locker.

"What are you saying?" She was now facing him head on, her back against the blue foil behind her, looking as though it was the only thing holding her up, as her feet were slightly in front of her.

"I'm not saying anything, just making an observation." he explained.

"Yeah, well….stop it." Freddie's eye brows rose.

"That all you got Puckett?" He laughed smugly, crossing his arms across his chest.

Her eyes became hard, and he knew that he was in for it. His smirk faded fast as he back up, but Sam's foot came in contact with his stomach faster than his smile disappeared from his face.

"That better?" she spat proudly.

"Much." was all he said before sinking to the tiled floor.

* * *

><p>Surprisingly Sam had been having quite an uneventful and stress free morning. She disregarded her conversation with Carly that morning because she would probably forget about it by lunch and start blabbing about whatever guy she was day dreaming about that morning. She slept through first period.<p>

Walking into the class she slipped passed Freddie, making minimal eye contact, but acknowledging that he was there, she wouldn't talk to him near any of his friends from the AV Club. Sitting down in her chair, she took a deep breath, unloading her needed books and utensils, smiling at her uncanny good fortune that day.

"Hey Sweetcheeks." She looked up surprised. A boy she didn't recognize looked at her, smiling, showing off his prize winning teeth.

"Hello?" she responded slowly, as if talking to someone who was mentally handy capped. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Freddie make his way over to her, which meant that they had two minutes until Mrs. Costa arrived, he was so stingy with time, it made her sick.

"You can't say you don't remember me," he said, looking at her dead in the eyes, and that's when she noticed it. Those green eyes, she remembered those eyes, how couldn't she, that's all she thought about when she looked at him.

"Oh my God," she whispered to herself as she stared at him. She didn't know what to say, she didn't even know the guy's name, all she remembered from that night were glimpses she saw in her mind at random times, and she could remember was him getting to close to fast.

"Who's this?" Freddie asked, bringing her back to reality. She didn't look at him, but she could feel hi sit down beside her.

"Andrew," Pretty eyes responded. He looked like he was sizing him up, making Sam nervous and shift in her seat. She didn't know why, but anyone looking at Freddie with those slanted eyes was enough to make her squirm.

"So Sweetcheeks, did yeah have fun on Sunday?" he leaned forward, returning his attention back to the blonde in front of him.

She flinched, she had gotten so mad at Freddie on Monday for accusing her of lying about being there, that it made her look so dumb for this boy in front of her to just confirm it. She could hear him chuckle slightly, and she had wished that he was looking her way so she could glare at him, instead of his text book.

"My name is Sam." she said sternly.

"Aww, come on, don't be that way." He reached out and stroked her cheek with his thumb. Sam was taken back, what made him think that he could do that, no one touched her, ever. She just sat there; ever muscle was tense and astounded her eyes wide. Freddie looked over once the conversation had stalled for a moment, and was confused at the sight.

"Get your hand off of me," she said in wonderment. The demand stated in more of a question form, like she was asking him why he still had his hand there.

"Oh, okay, calm down, I get it," he quickly took his hand away from her face, waving them in the air in his defence, "Your Devon's chick."

Her face turned and twisted until it the look of surprised dressed her face, almost the same way it had Carly's that morning. Her brain couldn't process what he had just said. Devon's Chick?, "What?"

"You and Devon got a thing going on, I get it, I'll leave you alone." he laughed in amusement, like it was obvious.

"I am NOT Devon's 'chick'" she finally responded after a moment, grabbing him by the back of the shirt and turned him around to face her when he tried to reposition himself into his seat in front of her.

"Well, that's not what it looked like on Sunday." he smiled nervously, trying to lean back out of the death grip she had on his shirt.

"Just turn around." was all she said, pushing her hand forward, almost throwing him into his seat, eyeing him, daring hi to say anymore.

Looking out of corner of her eye she could see the dumfounded expression on Freddie's face, before quickly turning back to her books as the bell rang.

Mrs. Costa came into the room, looking quite pissed and a mess. Her hair was sticking up everywhere and her usual bright red lips were dull and smudged.

Oh her good day just went down the drain.

* * *

><p>Carly hummed to herself as she emptied and reloaded her belongings accordingly. Brandon had taken her out for lunch, and he even bought her food for her, they talked about their date on Saturday and staring at his beautiful mouth was all she could do from screaming in delight.<p>

"What are you so happy about?" Sam came up behind her, poking her in the arm.

"Brandon," she sighed, "you remember who that is right?"

"Yeah, your boy toy," she smiled, turning the dial on her locker.

"He is not my boy toy," she squealed, scrunching up her nose, "I happen to actually like this guy."

"Then how come I've never met him?" she said matter-of-factly.

"You have, he's in your first period," Freddie said coming up behind her.

"Okay, you need to stop sneaking up behind me, come from another way." she demanded, turning to face him.

"My lockers right over there," he explained pointing down the hall behind her, "Where do you expect me to come from?"

"I don't know, walk around the school!"

"I'm not walking around the school so I don't come up behind you, it's not like you don't know that I'm coming from over there."

Sam was about to retaliate when Carly cleared her throat from beside her. Turning around she noticed someone new was taking up the once empty space beside Carly.

"Devon." Freddie greeted him, low hostility in his voice.

"Hey man." he smiled back, obviously not noticing the low tone in which he was greeted in by the other boy.

"What do you want?" Carly asked, irritated that he was just standing there.

"Oh, yeah," he said absentmindedly, "Party at Andrew's this Friday, was told to invite you guys." turning to Carly and flashing her a smile.

Carly didn't know weither to be flattered or disgusted, noticing the way he was staring at Sam earlier she was going to go with disgusted. I agitated her, and even Freddie a little the way he was looking Sam up and down, eyeing every inch of her.

"I don't know," Carly laughed nervously, "We have iCarly on Friday."

Sam looked at her friend, Carly rarely ever turned down a party, she said something about, it was how we grow socially, Sam didn't see it that way, she was fine with just her and sometimes Freddie.

Just as she was about to recuperate, and voice her most likely unwanted opinion, when something came out of her mouth that surprised her.

"Yeah Carly's right, we have plans already, maybe next time, or never." the last part added quietly.

Wait, that wasn't her voice, "What are you talking about Fredward."

"Sam, we got iCarly."

"Yeah I know but that doesn't mean we can't go." she smiled.

"Yeah Carly, listen to your friend." he cheered, putting his arm around her shoulders.

"Well think about it." Freddie said, trying to advert his attention away from the girl beside him, not noticing Sam's slight eye roll.

"Yeah well, let me know soon," he yelled, at them as he walked down the hall towards his friends.

"We're not really going to that party are we?" Carly asked after he had turned the corner.

"You don't have to Carly." Freddie explained with a smile.

"Fine by me, but I'm going." she interrupted.

She didn't know why, but lately this little infatuation that Freddie had with Carly had been bothering severely. The little smiles and reassuring glances he gave her were enough to make her sick. All she got where biting remarks and forced awkward looks. She knew nothing could happen between them, Carly had made that clear over the years, but she guess Freddie hadn't given up, but it still bothered her, even when she knew nothing was going to come of it, and she usually left it at that, not wanting to over analyze the feeling, in case it ended up resulting in something she didn't want to think of.

"Sam, you can't go there by yourself!" she yelled surprised.

"Carly's right."

"Carly's always right." she mumbled bitterly to herself, how many times does that boy have to agree with her.

"What was that?" Freddie smirked, obviously hearing her rude remark towards her best friend.

The look in her eyes told he that once again he was in for pain. This was confirmed by her small but powerful fist came in contact with his lower stomach.

"That was for not knowing when to shut the hell up." she whispered feverishly into his ear as he leaned forward, referring to the two incident that had just occurred.

He really did.

* * *

><p>"What is it?" Carly asked, wondering what exactly she was seeing in front of her.<p>

"It looks like a dead racoon." Sam said in a matter-of-factly, throwing her bag onto the shay's couch and walking towards their fridge, she could almost hear hearing Spencer's cries of disappointment. She felt hungry, and not the forced hunger she felt after a night of drinking, she felt her Sam Hunger creep up on her ever since last period.

"I see she still hasn't lost her appetite." Freddie commented to Carly, watching his friend dig through the fridge.

""Has she ever?" she giggled in reply. Freddie couldn't help but smile, her laugh was amazing to him, so high pitched and girly, it made his insides turn, well they used to. For a while now he had been questioning his feelings for Carly, he still felt the tug on his heart whenever he saw her, but he didn't get that insane feeling he used to when he was in her presence. His stomach didn't flip, and his head didn't become a disorientated mess, but he still loved her, and that would never change.

Freddie didn't really know what to say in response to her comment either. Though Sam ate a lot of food in their presence, the amount of food she consumed never seemed to reflect her body weight. He would never classify as Sam ever being heavy, thanks to her, what he guessed was a very over worked metabolism, but she wasn't so thin that you would be worried, but that's what he found himself being lately. She was a lot thinner than he remembered, but he didn't feel like he should worry about it yet.

He was jerked from his thoughts a moment later when something thick and chunky hit his eye. Lifting his hand up to examine the substance he found it to be Cherry pie filling.

"Sam!" he yelled, continuing to clear his face with his hands, "What was that for?"

Sam just smirked from her spot behind the island. She didn't know why she did it, usually she would just put if off as her just wanting to bother him, but there was something else there as well. The way he was looking at Carly was beginning to make her angry, his eyes had gone all soft and gentle and a small goofy smile had crept up onto his face, it made her sick.

"For making googly eyes at Carly," surprised with herself that she even said it, "She will never love you."

"Sam." Carly whined, she never liked when they fought over the fact that Freddie in fact had feelings for her, it made her feel awkward because she herself didn't know her stance on the subject.

"HELLO!" Spencer barged through the door catching all of the teens attention. He was currently leaning on the entrance door frame, waving his arm free arm around like a loon.

"Hello to you too Spencer," Carly greeted, putting off his odd greeting and stature to his odd personality.

"Hey Carly," Spencer laughed boomed through the whole apartment, as he made his way over to the teens, tripping over his own feet.

"Whoa there cow boy," She said, helping to steady her brother's waving body.

"Oh my God Carly, your air is so soft." he commented, stroking her hair roughly, staring at it in amazement. She felt her hair was going to be ripped out of her head if continued.

Her laugh soon died down when she noticed something. His wavering movement, his inability to stand up straight on his own or to make a coherent sentence, led her to believe the first thing that came to mind.

"Oh my God Spencer, are you drunk?" she screamed surprised, capturing the attention of her friends behind her. Spencer never drank a lot, or ever, and it surprised all of them that he in fact would show up to the apartment drunk, in the middle of the day, and in front of Carly.

Freddie quickly grabbed Spencer from Carly, steadying him on his shoulder, and told her to clear the junk off the couch. Sam just stood there staring, she never pegged Spencer as someone who would go out and drink large amounts of alcohol to get drunk, and that unnerved her a bit. She didn't know why, but it made her back off from him a little bit; she didn't like what she was witnessing.

Freddie couldn't help but smell the alcohol on his breath and clothes, it seemed every inch of his body smelled of the intoxicating beverage, but what bothered him was the similarity of it. He felt like the smell was nothing new to him, except this one was stronger, and more fresh, which made him grow more suspicious.

He couldn't quite out his finger on where he previously had come in contact with it, he hardly drank, and even when he did he wouldn't have enough to get drunk or have anyone smell it on him, especially his mother. Carly never drank, which he admired her for, always the proper lady, so he wouldn't have smelt it on her in the past. Spencer had never as so much as had a sip of alcohol in front of any of them, saying that it was improper of him as Carly's guardian to be drinking in her presence, which ruled him out. Lastly his mother, was well, his mother, and all she ever had was the accessional glass of wine at dinner parties, so with the rule of thumb, the last person he could think of, was Sam.

It didn't seem that farfetched to him, her mother always drank, probably having liquor scattered around the house in various places, probably never knowing or caring if her daughter got into it. The strong smells coming off her clothes and skin at random times almost were alike to that of Spencer at the moment, expect weaker.

Carly continued to throw everything she could off the couch, magazines, pop bottles and empty chip bags fell to the floor, Freddie wobbling over to said place under his weight.

"Okay buddy, here we go," Freddie coxed, dropping Spencer as gently as he could onto the couch. Sam slowly made her way over to wear they were, stopping in front of Carly on the far left side of the couch, close to the door.

"I'll go get him some blankets and a pillow," and rushed off to complete the task without a look to anyone.

Once Carly had left and Spencer was as comfortable on the couch as they could get him Freddie turned to Sam. She was staring uncomfortably at Spencer on the couch, which in all caught him off guard; he's never seen quite that look on her face. Her eye brows knitted together tightly pointed upwards, like she was upset, her mouth slightly turned down into a frown.

"What's the matter?" he asked, walking up to her slowly. She didn't really look like she had heard him, as she didn't move from her spot or even look up to acknowledge him.

"Sam?" he asked again. Her head snapped up at the closeness of his voice.

"What do you want Fredderly?" she questioned, backing off slightly.

"Nothing, just wondering why someone like Spencer would be drinking in the middle of the day." he responded nonchalantly, eyeing her.

"I don't know." she said quietly, wondering where this conversation was going.

"Not to mention he smells bad."

"Yeah." she responded by backing up farther away from him, he was making her feel uncomfortable, which was a feet in Sam's world, as she was the one usually causing people discomfort.

"Kinda like you." Her eyes quickly made contact with his. Giving him a moment to take it back, as she thought it was something me meant to think, not say. It was odd for him to stand up to her, let alone vocalize his opinions.

"What?" she whispered harshly, she didn't need Carly to hear them. He turned about face, facing her straight on.

"I think I'm the one who should be asking questions, you're the one that smells of alcohol." He bluntly stated. She couldn't contain her shock anymore, when had he gotten so bold as to say something like that about her, why wasn't he backing away, running to his mother?

"I think what your smelling is Spencer of there." she said, pointing to the snoring 29 year old.

"No," he said, not turning around and buying onto her distraction, "I think it's you."

He began to walk closer, and she was backing away, why was she backing away? He didn't scare her, he never scared her, but yet she found herself becoming backed into a corner. She didn't feel threatened by him, or truly actually scared of him, but she felt compelled to listen to him. She was getting that feeling in her stomach again, but not the one that would make her want to puke, like it did when she felt like she needed to get away, it was more of a flipping feeling, like she would get on a roller-coaster.

"Well, I live with a women who drinks it like water, I'm bound to smell of it." she stated smugly.

"I would believe you," he began, bending down to make eye contact with her much shorter frame, "If I couldn't smell it on your breath."

She was stuck; she had nothing she could say to defend herself. She could punch him or even smack him in the face and tell him to shut the fuck up, but she couldn't move. She felt as if her body was frozen as she looked up into his brown eyes.

"So, you drink." she said calmly as she could, bending her face down so he wouldn't get the rough scent of her breath.

"Yeah I do, on special occasions or parties, not in the middle of the day!" he growled.

"Why do you-" but was cut off by Freddie once again.

"Don't you DARE ask me why I care, because no matter how much you deny it we are friends."

They both glared. His having the slight glint of smugness to it, having finally caught her in a lie. Her nostrils flared, she was pissed, why couldn't he just leave her alone, why did he always have to get involved?

"You've been coming to school smelling like you socked your clothes in alcohol, your breath always smells like it, for MONTHS now it's been happening, are you looking to get in trouble, Spencer had a right to be worried."

Her eyes went wide, she didn't know that he knew about that, she didn't know that he smelt it on her every day when she would sit beside him. Things started to make sense now, the looks, the comments, the dazed and questioning looks he would give when he got to close. It was because he could smell it.

"What are you talking about?" she asked, hoping that the answer isn't what she thought it was.

"Last week he asked me to keep an eye out for you, I don't know why, but I guess he suspected something, usually he would have just taken care of it himself, but it must have bothered him. I think I understand what he meant now."

Than Spencer, he knew too, he knew. She didn't know how, but he did, and it made her panic, he couldn't know, this was Spencer, he couldn't know what was going on, he would hate her, he couldn't know.

"I don't need you to 'look out for me'" she hissed, "I'm a big girl, I've been taking care of myself for years, I don't need your help."

"Really, because you're doing a horrible job at it."

She was about to fire back when Carly came quickly bouncing down the stairs, giving both of them a questioning look, her hands filled with a think wool blanket and a large pillow "What are you doing?"

Giving a quick glance to each other Sam pushed Freddie away, "I was just telling Fredward over here, how I wasn't feeling well, and I think I'm going to go home."

"I thought you were sleeping over?" Carly whined as her friend turned to open the door to her apartment, reminding her friend of the conversation previous to entering the Shay's place.

"I'm just feeling really sick, I may just go home and sleep." she explained.

"You can do all that here can't you?" Sam turned around quickly in a world wind, glaring at Freddie.

"Yeah Sam, I'll make you some chicken soup and you can even sleep in my bed if you want," the brunette squealed, jumping excitedly in her spot. Sam felt so bad, and guilt just wasn't her thing, she must have really been excited for her to stay over. She even would let her sleep in her bed, and she never let her do that. Sam didn't like sleeping with other people in a bed, unless it was necessary, and even then she might sleep on the floor. She didn't feel comfortable with close proximity with people.

"But you have Spencer to take care of." she defended, walking around Freddie to her friend, pointing down at the loudly snoring boy.

"He'll probably be out for a while anyway." Freddie explained, covering Spencer with the blanket Carly had brought down.

"Come on, let's go upstairs, you'll feel so much better tomorrow." she said as she fondled over her best friend.

Carly grabbed Sam the the wrist, happily guiding her up the stairs and into her room. Sam turned back for a moment at a smiling Freddie, _that smug bastard,_ she thought glaring, as she was tugged up the stairs.

This day had gone to shit.

* * *

><p><strong>Disclaimer; I do not own iCarly or any of the characters.<strong>

**So here's the next chapter, I had it written a while ago and just got around to doing some VERY slight editing.**

**I've been so busy, and I didn't think I would even have this up until the end of the month if I didn't just post it the way it was.**

**BTW, they are in there Senior year now, it's the only thing I changed in the previous chapters, also the way Mrs. Costa came into Sam and Freddie's science class is a clue as to what will happen in a later chapter.**

**Anyway, next chapter; Devon and Sam have a little conversation about the events of Sunday night **


	9. Chapter 8: Anytime You Need a Friend

**Chapter Eight: Anytime You Need a Friend**

_Anytime you need a friend  
>I will be here<br>You'll never be alone again  
>So don't you fear<br>Even if you're miles away  
>I'm by your side<br>So don't you ever be lonely  
>It's alright<br>-Mariah Carey_

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><p>Sam crawled quietly over the scratchy carpet of the school library, the harsh points imprinting in her skin as she dragged her body along the side of the front desk. Second period had just started, and if she was caught she would be forced back into class.<p>

She could hear the soft snores of the old librarian above her, ever few minutes she would mumble something nontangible and then nestle back down into her folded arms. She sincerely doubted that she would wake up ay any moment, but she wasn't going to take any chances. She wasn't going to risk her ass by smugly walking in there thinking that she wouldn't wake up and then be taken to Principal Franklin's office. She knew that Ted had been overlooking the fact that she had been absent to most of her classes since there talk, and she didn't know how much longer he would let her off.

She continued to abuse her palms and knee's as she made her way over to the farthest end of the large space. Surprisingly the library was the largest room in the school besides the gym, had an exceptional amount of furniture and books, yet it was the least occupied room in the school, and she knew no one would look for her hear.

Making it to the end of the row of books she sat down, leaning her head against the white bricks. She didn't want to say she was avoiding Freddie, okay maybe she was, but she wasn't going to admit it. She didn't know if he knew about her, little situation, nor did she know if he was going to tell anyone, but if he did, she wasn't going o be around when he did. She also didn't want to deal with confrontation, it made her uncomfortable, and it made her feel even more uncomfortable that it was Freddie.

Yesterday kept replying over and over in her head, she didn't know when he got so bold, but the timing was very wrong. Questions like, was he going to tell Carly, would be bring it back up again, and was he going to do anything about it swirled around her mind.

She felt she could deal with Freddie, he would be easy enough to scare off, she hoped, but if Carly knew, she believed that her whole life might actually crumble, because she was the last person who truly knew that she was a good person. She couldn't have her look down on her like everyone else did.

If it wasn't for Carly she wouldn't even be here. The night before she had to fake that she was sick, though not much, her stomach was turning because of the new information she had received not five minutes earlier. Carly had pampered her and stayed up until 2 the night before watching old Disney movies with her, she had a weak spot for them, and eventually she snuck out and slept on the couch. She preferred to sleep alone, not liking the close proximity to another person, whether or not it was Carly.

She had to sneak away from first period, knowing that she would be forced into class. She couldn't help but feel something nibbling on her conscience, but she didn't think she could face reality just yet.

Her eye's scanned the shelves in front o her, looking over all the old warn out covers of books no one had probably touched in years. Reaching up she grabbed a random book, the bottom right corner looked like it had been ripped right off, while the rest of the book's paper cover had scratches and creases all throughout it. Of what she could make out the title read "Psychology: The Book of Human Behaviour" in hard pale brown letters. She opened the book without a second though, thinking it was a good way to kill time, though it wasn't her first choice, she opened the book, the spin cracking from its old age.

Opening the book to the first page she read the definition that read;

_Psychology: The science of mind and behaviour. __Its immediate goal is to understand behavior and mental processes by researching and establishing both general principles and specific cases._

Her nose scrunched up tightly, so this was a book that explains the behavior of humans. Turning some odd pages she came to a small title that read; '_Behaviorism', _giving it a once over she flipped to the middle of the book she came to a very large and colorful triangle. Looking up to the right corner she read the small tab that said '_Humanistic Psychology'. _Intrigued by the colorful designs on the page she began to read.

Apparently what this book was explaining to her, was that this Maslow guy applied this odd principal call homeostasis, which what she got form the book meant was the body's desire to balance. It was actually like an internal alarm, like when we need something, like a sweater when we're cold or a drink when we're thirsty.

Moving over to the bright yellow box at the bottom; _Psychological Needs – Human bodies are dependent on the basic needs to oxygen, water, minerals, food and sleep to be able to function; therefore these needs must be met first._

_Yes, or we'd die,_ she laughed, moving her eyes up slightly to the now larger red box; _Safety and Security Needs – When our Psychological needs are met we are then inclined to then strive for Safety and Security, which can translate into security of the body, employment, resources, morality, the family, health and property. The need to feel safe overrides the need for loving and belonging. _

That last line interested her the most, "The need to feel safe overrides the need for loving and belonging." In the world we live in now Love is so much more overrated and desired for then to feel safe, people strive for Love to the extent that she heard people would go amazing highs to get to it, that safety in didn't even seem to cross there mind. She felt that she could relate, though she would never admit it, she strived for love, but it always seemed so far out of reach that she eventually gave up the fight and let reality sink in. She would never find love, and she was okay with that, but she went for the next best thing.

Continuing on to the next she read the bright green section; _Love and Belonging Needs - When our feeling of Safety and Security are met we turn towards are needs to be Loved and to Belong. When we feel the need to "fit in" we are motivated to behaviors that insure acceptance. We conform to certain or certain behaviors of our social community, and when we fail to meet these needs the results are alienation, isolation and loneliness._

Not even giving the last a second thought she moved on; _Esteem Needs – When we again fulfill the certain needs of Loving and Belonging she strive for recognition, which are divided into 'lower' and 'higher'. The 'lower-Order' needs are satisfied when we receive respect and recognition, but this is_ _usually temporary and exclusive and can be lost as easily as it was gained. The 'Higher-Order' is not so easily gained but not so easily lost as well, it is based on the respect we have for ourselves. ETC. Self-Confidence, and Achievement_. That was written on the smaller purple one.

She wondered where she was on this scale, she definitely didn't have anyone else's respect, and she didn't really feel like going into how she felt about herself, so she started on the last smallest navy blue space; _Self-Actualization – Self – Actualization an individual expression of self, and doing what we believe we are best suited for._

The rest was blacked out by what looked like a sharpie. She rubbed her fingers firm and quickly over the marker, hoping the black ink would disappear. She let her hands slide down the page when she finally gave up, resting her head on the wall once again.

You couldn't have one without the other. You couldn't move up a level in the scale without completing the rest. It was like the Game of Life, except when you're not the banker and you can't cheat when everyone gets up to go to the bathroom or get a drink, you actually had to play it the whole way through, even when the game got tricky.

Reaching into her bag and ripped out a corner of a stray piece of paper, sliding it into the spin of the book, marking it's place and let it slide off her lap beside her backpack. It was funny how life could be categorized into 5 little spaces inside a colorful triangle in a book. It made her think, was life really as difficult as everyone made it out to be?

Yawning, she shifted around in the small cramped area, trying to find a comfortable position. She hadn't gotten a lot of sleep at Carly's that night, she hadn't stayed over in so long that she began to feel uncomfortable with her surroundings. She tossed and squirmed on the couch not being able to position her body correctly, so she ended up watching television all night, zoning in and out until early in the morning when she heard Carly coming down the stairs and pretended to sleep until Carly came and she pretended to wake up.

She felt frightened her that she felt that way when at Carly's, she used to sleep over there every day, she would practically live there, only going home ever few days to get clothes. Now she felt s distort that she couldn't even sleep. She could feel the back of her head thump continuously, which signaled the beginning of a headache her forehead and hands felt clammy and hot. And her legs wiggled and felt cramped, and no matter how much she moved them or what angel she put them at she just couldn't sit still. She hadn't been able to figure out what had caused this odd reaction and she didn't care at that moment, all she wanted to do was sleep.

Small soft scratches woke her from her small nap, she growled, she was so close to slipping into dream land that she was going to pound the person who was making the annoying sound that itched her ears. Opening her eyes she quickly shot up into a proper sitting position against the wall.

"Hey."

She stared at him for a moment before replying, "Hey."

"So how have you been doing?" he asked as he began to walk up to her. She moved her legs up in front of her as he approached, almost as protection.

"Fine," she replied as he sat down beside her, "Shouldn't you be in class, and how'd you find me?"

"One of the guys said they saw you coming in here."

"Oh…"

They sat there in silence for a moment, Sam wiggling uncomfortably beside him and he played with the large curls on her shoulder.

"So I haven't really been able to talk to you since Sunday, so what did you think of it?"

She looked up at him, and began to shift farther away from him, but he just moved closer. She didn't know what to say to him, Andrew's comments on Monday about the party had bewildered her, and the memory of that morning, the taste in her mouth, and Devon's half naked body was causing her t panic. She wanted s badly to ask him about it, but Freddie was sitting right beside her, and she just couldn't say anything in front of him, because at that time, he didn't know anything, and now she had her chance, but she still couldn't find it in her to ask.

"It was good," she finally replied, looking down to her shoulder where his hand was, playing gently with her hair and slightly rubbing her shoulder. As he watched her look down at his hand, he smirked, letting go of the blonde curl he hand in his hand and softly grazed his fingers up to her neck until he reached under her chin, moving her head up until she was looking at him.

"Oh, I think it was more than 'good'….for the both of us." he smirked.

"What do you mean?" she asked nervously. She mentally punched herself for letting her voice waver, it gave him a entrance that she had to close before he realized it.

"You don't remember, we had such a wonderful time," he smiled leaning in closer to her. She swallowed hard, clenching her small hands in fists, but not being able to move away.

"Oh my God," she whispered, her heart began speeding up alng with her breath's. Her mind once again going back to Sunday. Devon's hands sliding up her sides, and his hot mouth gently kissing her neck and whispering things into her ear. The next morning wasn't as exhilarating as the night before, her head hurt and her stomach felt as if it would explode. The striped boxer that filled her vision of that night and were the same ones that Devon had been wearing that morning. The salty taste in her mouth mixed with the bitter one of the alcohol and the white stains on the pants dissuaded under her sweater, lead her to believe one thing, even if she didn't want to.

"Don't be scared," he said immediately after he realized the movement of her body, "It was beautiful."

"There is nothing beautiful about that," she whispered sternly, as to not wake the librarian only a few feet away. The warning lights once again going off, she had to get away, she didn't feel right. She began to get up when his hand quickly caught her around the waist, making her fall back down onto the floor, with him towering over her.

"How couldn't it be," he began, moving her bangs out of her face, "When it was with you."

Scrunching up her face she slide down the wall, almost trying to melt into the bricks and carpet. He smiled at her actions, eyes never leaving hers, and she kept eye contact as well. He smiled lovingly at her, soft and happy, that opening was becoming bigger and she didn't even realize it, and he was going in for the kill.

"You're beautiful."

That's where everything stopped. Her head stopped spinning and was cleared of all thought, it was like her brain had stopped functioning the moment that wrd was spoken. She had heared that word so many times, but never had it been directed at her. Only once had it been, and that was like a beautiful dream and a forgotten memory of when she was young and naïve.

"What?"

"Beautiful, stunning, gorgeous, whatever way you want to put it." his smile widened, "It just wouldn't have been the same with anyone else."

With that he leaned down, pressing his chapped lips against her cheek, holding her tight around the waist and bringing her up towards him. Slipping something into her once fisted hand and using his to close it once more, making sure it had a tight enough grip so it wouldn't fall.

Backing up enough for them to be able to breath, he released her hand, "You coming to the party tomorrow, I would really like you there with me."

"Yeah of course I am." she replied almost immediately, smiling.

"Good, because I don't think I could live through it without you beautiful."

Leaning down he gave her another kiss on the cheek, he couldn't be to forward with a girl like her, he knew her type and if he went right for it she would be scared off, so he had to take it slow. Smirking mentally to himself, while keeping to bright smile plastered on his face, he stood up, gently letting her fall back. The look in her eyes telling him everything he needed to know.

"See you then."

He caught her.

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><p>Sam skipped up towards her and Carly's locker at the end of the day; she was in an exceptionally good mood. The piece of paper Devon had given her tucked snuggly in her back pocket, checking every once in a while to make sure it was still there, a smile plastered on her face as she felt it crumple under her finger's.<p>

"Look whose feeling better." A bright voice called from beside her. She looked beside her to the peppy brunette, the smile on her face matching that of Sam's. She hadn't seen her friend this happy in months and she couldn't help but feel over joyed that her friend was so happy.

"What's got you in such a good mood?" she squealed, stepping away from Freddie who was standing on the far side of her, Freddie giving her a questioning look.

"I don't know," she lied, "Today has just been a good day." To tell the truth she was still high off the conversation she and Devon had that morning. She'd never felt that special before, he made her feel so wanted it made her stomach turn and her cheek bones stretch.

"I bet it was since she didn't show up for second," he said quietly, but not quite enough for either of the girls not to hear it.

"Ow, Sam!" Freddie yelled holding his head. Sam smiled as she walked closer to him, picking up the now battered Fat Cake she had thrown at his head. It's food, why waste it?

"Sam, don't throw thing's at Freddie," she scolded sternly, "Why weren't you in class?"

"I was sick," she stated matter-of-factly, leaning agianst her locker, giving Freddie a challenging look, daring him to say otherwise, "I went to the nurses office to lay down."

"Well, at least you feel better now," She said, taking the bait.

"Yeah," she turned and started to load and unload, noticing the little bottle from Sunday night still sitting discarded under the forgotten trash in the corner of her locker. She very well couldn't very well take it now in front of Carly and Freddie, so it would end up being forgotten for another night, "So how about we go to the Groovy Smoothie?"

"I would love to," she whined, disappointed that she couldn't take advantage of her friends god mood, "I have to meet with about my History essay, I think Freddie's free though, why don't you go with him?" she asked, slamming her locker shut.

"Can't, got an A/V Club meeting." He informed them.

"How about you go to the apartment and wait for me there, and when I get back we can ALL go." she intercepted, anticipating the fight that was going to start.

"Fine." turning towards them, looking at Carly, "See YOU, later." she smirked walking away, not making eye contact with Freddie. She felt a little awkward and decided the best way to not feel the tension was to act like her normal self, hoping the atmosphere would follow.

"Sam." she could here Carly complain as she walked across the hallway towards the other set of lockers, she tried to avoid the front entrance after school, as most people liked to loiter outside of it.

As she walked down the hall, adjusting her backpack on her shoulder she felt the need to punch someone, she hated how easily he could get under her skin by either a comment or just a look. As she grumbled to herself, stomping lightly down the hallway, she stopped, she could hear muffled sounds coming from down the hallway. Walking closer the muffled became louder and more apparent, they sounded like someone had a gag over there mouth and was trying to yell, but the sounds didn't come as painful or scared, but, pleasurable.

Creeping up to the door she put her ear to it. Small screams admitted from the small room behind the door, shuffling and small whispers of someone saying to be quite. Then silence. Sam quickly back up and jogged to the nearest open hallway, the lights were off by this time on this part of the school, so she hopped the small amount of shade would shield her if needed.

She peaked out of the hall once she heard the nob of the janitor's closest open. She couldn't put into words of the surprise she felt when her science teacher practically fell out of it, but what shocked her even more was who came out after. It was Mr. Scotts, the new English teacher.

She watched as they kissed goodbye, for about five minutes, and quickly ducked down into the hall, careful to keep her breathing steady and to keep her body hidden as much as possible, as she saw Mrs. Costa walk down the hall. After a few minutes she began to walk down the dark hall, not taking any chances ok looking down the one that her teacher once occupied. She'd rather take the long way out then have to look at either of them, people over 30 really shouldn't make out.

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><p>Walking up to the Shay's apartment she noticed that the door was locked, which was odd because they never locked there door, much to Mrs. Benson's distain, giving poor Spencer a grusome lecture about how someone could come in a kill them, in vivid detail. Giggling the handle once more, she reached into the side pocket of her bag and pulled out a bobby pin, and shoved it into the lock, moving it around until she heard that tiny click.<p>

Entering the apartment she was greeted with an awkward situation. There stood Spencer, in his 6'3 lanky glory, staring at her with a slightly amateurish expression on his face. No one had talked to him since yesterday morning, before he had made that scene, stumbling into the apartment drunk to the point where he could hardly stand on his own, it had been tense between the two Shay's and Sam was in the middle of it.

"How are you feeling?" she asked, trying to lighten the air.

"Fine Kiddo." he scratched the back of his neck, "Where's Carly?", looking around like he was going to run the moment she alked through the door. This apparently was bothering hm alot more than she thought.

"At school, she has to talk to a teacher about something." Putting her bag on the floor in front of the door carelessly, and began to walk towards the fridge, her hunger making another random appearance, "I'm just going to wait here till she gets back."

Silence greeted her ears once again, and she began to dig through the fridge, grabbing random bites of food and putting them back when they didn't quite please her appetite for that moment. Settling for a Soda and some stringed cheese she closed the fridge.

"I'm so sorry!" a small yelp gave way from her mouth as she dropped the soda in her hand, making it pop and fizz all over the floor in front of her, the cheese still hanging out of her mouth.

"What are you talking about Spencer?" Her voice still holding dismayed sound, she was not expecting Spencer to jump out right in front of her as she turned around, and grab her shoulders, flinging her every which was yelling apologizes.

"I'm so sorry about what happened last night," he yelled sadly into her face, "I didn't mean for what happened to happen, it just, I was so stressed with making deadlines and Carly, and college and leaving me alone and, and," he choked.

"Spencer, calm down." she soothed, she wasn't comfortable with this kind of situation and she didn't know how to deal with crying people, so she went for rubbing his back, which was now lower due to the fact he was hunched over, yelling in her face.

"Come on, lets go sit down on the couch," she said, taking his hand and gently guiding him over to the couch, making sure that he didn't hurt himself as he was having a hard time maneuvering due to the blurred vision from his tears. She didn't know if she could deal with someone like Spencer like this, she hadn't ever seen him anything but happy, and occasionally a little pissed off, but never to the point of tears, and it pulled on her heart strings.

"Okay, just calm down, and tell me everything, I'll wait." she tried her best to be supportive, rubbing small circles on his back and occasionally rubbing his neck. His head was in his hands, obviously embarrassed to have broken down like this all of a sudden.

"I just, I'm just so stressed out!" she yelled into his hands, "So many people are asking for sculptures I just can't finish in time, and we need the money so I'm taking on more work than I've ever had, and," he clenched his fists in his hair, "Carly's applied for college and soon she'll be getting acceptance letters and then eventually leaving, I mean how am I going to pay for that, how am I going to deal with her leaving, I don't think I can!" he cried into his palms.

"Spencer, just calm down okay," she pleaded, shifting closer to him so she could wrap her arms around him more fully, still feeling the uncomfortable air linger around her, she wasn't good at this, "Carly's not going to be gone forever, you won't ever lose her." she tried her hardest to sooth him, but in her mind it sounded stupid, and unoriginal.

"She'll end up being happy wherever she is and live a happy life without me," he argued.

"I don't think she will ever forget about you, you're her brother, you raised her, you cared for her when your father left, your practically her whole world." she tried again at another shot of making him feel better, but it still didn't mean anything to her.

"I just don't think I can deal anymore." he explains, lifting his head up to meet her gaze.

"Then take a break, you need it," she continued.

"We need the money Sam, I need to pay for college for her."

"Spencer, when everything's said and done, she needs you more than she needs school, and she would tell you the same thing, she would give up school to stay here with you if you asked here too, so just take a break and or at least down your work load, because if you think about it, it would be more for her than you, because she's going to need the support."

Her mouth tasted sour, she was spitting out words that she didn't care about and didn't even think about twice before she said them, but they meant everything in the world to the person beside her, and that made her feel disgusted, because they meant nothing to her.

"It just seemed like a good idea at the time."

"What did?" she asked confused.

"The alcohol." he said. It was the whole reason they were even having this conversation.

"So….why?" she asked hesitantly.

He sighed, leaning back onto the couch, running his fingers through his hair, "I've never told anyone this, and Carly wouldn't remember or even know."

Sam than shifted were she sat, she knew what was about to come, a secret, and she didn't know what to do or say, and she really didn't want him to start, but she didn't want to tell him that.

"After our dad left me in charge of looking after Carly, things just went downhill, I mean, I was only 21, and I loved her so much, how could I say no, It wasn't so bad at first but then the stress started to build up slowly, until I just couldn't handle it anymore," he explained, his face had gone blank, "My friends invited me out for drinks, but I always said no, saying I had Carly to look after, she was so little, and then one day I didn't have enough money to pay rent and no one was buying anything form me, so I left her with the neighbor's and went out for some drinks."

She didn't say anything as he continued, "And I loved it, how it made me feel and how for only a few hours I could forget everything, but then it started to get out of control, I wanted to always forget about everything, so I would go out every night, and drink until I couldn't think straight and would crash at some friends house, totally forgetting about Carly."

And that's where he broke down completely, tears spilling out over his face, his eyes becoming red and swollen, "I almost lost her, the neighbors were concerned about her, since I would almost never come get her, we had lost our apartment in that time and we had no were to live."

She couldn't say anything, she knew that she should, but her mouth wouldn't work, her vocal cords were stuck in place, all she could do was give him a look at expressed that he should continue, "I lost her for about a month, and I just couldn't function without her, she was everything to me, but the neighbor's knew our family well, and they let me live with them, and after a while, I picked myself up and regain custody of her, it look at year and a half, but I did it, all for her."

She couldn't put into words how her heart sank, her empty words and phrases she had spat to him before began to take meaning, and her chest felt tight, "I knew I needed to move away, away from everything, from the past, the people, and the memories, so I left everything and moved here." he finished.

Her mouth still didn't open, so she did what she thought she could do, he hugged him. She reached up and linked her arms around his neck, pulling her body up close to him and just sat there, and he hugged her back.

Her mind was jerked out of the silent bliss as she felt his body begin to spasm , he was laughing, "All this talk to Carly, and I never told you how I feel about you."

She moved her face from in between his neck to look up at him, confused, "What do you mean?"

"You're an important person in my life to Sam, I care about you just as much as I care for Carly, I never want to lose you either, you're like my baby sister too, and I want to make sure you know you're just as important as she is, and that I'd do the same things for you as I would for her."

She dug her face back into his neck again, she felt her heart was about to burst, and all she could do was squeeze him tighter, and he knew that was her way of saying thank you, and that was all he needed.

"Come to me for anything, and I mean anything." he said sternly, and made his point by moving so he was looking at her in the eye.

"I will." she replied with a blank face, but he was okay with that, because he knew that she would, and that she was thankful, because even though he couldn't hear it, he could feel it as she leaned into him.

**Disclaimer; I do not own iCarly or any of the characters.**

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><p><strong>I'm actually really happy with the way this chapter turned out, I love the relationship of big brother and sister between these too, and it's one of my favorite things with them.<strong>

**Also, the reason why Sam couldn't sleep at Carly's house, she hadn't had anything to drink it over 24 hours, and those were small starting signs of withdrawal, but she doesn't know that **

**Anyway, now that the introductions are done, all the characters and situations are introduced; we can now get into the "rising action" the GOOD parts.**

**Next Chapter; Spencer puts a stop to Carly's party plans, and Freddie puts on into Devon's, but how will Sam feel about that? And how will she feel about Freddie when the party takes an unexpected turn? OoOoOh. lol.**

**Thank you for all the review's and alerts and favorites, I'm going to take the time to thank you all.**

**Thank you to; jhuikmn08, XxThe Penny TreasurexX, Silverhairbow1, pos, and Blood-blossom16 for leaving a review, and to those others for the favorites and reviews, I really appreciate it!**

**Enjoy!**


	10. Chapter 9: Burn It To The Ground

**Chapter Nine; Burn It To The Ground**

_We're going off tonight to kick out every light,  
>Take anything we want, drink everything in sight,<br>We're going 'til the world stops turning,  
>While we burn it to the ground tonight.<br>-Nickelback_

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><p>It was finally Friday, the day of Devon's party. She was quite skeptical of it at first, but had gotten used to the idea, thanks to a very persuasive Devon. He had been texting her non-stop since last night, keeping her up late into the night, her heart fluttering happily at the constant compliments that he had sent her in the form of black blocked words.<p>

"Guess who?" a cheery voice came from behind her, covering her eyes, long skinny fingers forcing her eyelids down. A low chuckle softly coming a few inches away.

"Hmmm…" she hummed, pretending to think about it, knowing perfectly well who it was, "I'm gonna guess Freddie." she smiled to herself.

"No silly, it's me," someone laughed loudly, hopping into Sam's view.

"Oh I'm sorry Carly, I thought it was Fredward over here," she said in mock innocence as she turned to fully face Freddie, "You know, because of the high pitched voice and the, little girly hands."

"Awww Sam, it's okay to be a little jealous, you know, with that scratchy man voice, large man hands and the height of a shrunken old Chinese man." He smirked, knowing he had got her with the comment about her height. It was one of the sensitive subjects for Sam, and it was hard to be intimidating when you're ridiculously close to the 5 foot mark.

"Nice come back, now wipe it off your chin." she glared back, resting her palm under her chin, using her index finger to tap her chin repeatedly.

"Sam!" Carly yelled disgustedly at her.

"What?" she questioned, whirling around, her hair whipping into Freddie's face, causing her to laugh slightly as she continued, "It's not my fault his tampons up to far."

"Sam, that's so gross," Carly commented uncomfortably, she was such a prude, "Now let's talk about tonight."

"Oh yes, tonight!" Sam yelled gleefully, "I'm so excited for the party at Andrew's house!"

"Oh….the party," Carly scratched behind her ear, a small little nervous habit of hers, "I thought you would have forgotten about that by now."

"How could you think I would forget about it?"

"Well you haven't talked about it all week, so I assumed you wouldn't be going."

"Besides, we have iCarly tonight anyway," Freddie interjected.

"So?" she scoffed, leaning against the lockers nonchalantly, "We do iCarly at 8, it will last for an hour, and we have a half hour to get ready or whatever and drive over, we should be there by 10, the party will probably be starting by then anyway."

"You've obviously given this an odd amount of thought….you know, for you." Sam smiled sarcastically for a moment at Freddie before turning her attention back to Carly.

"She has," she trailed off, her eyes flickering back between her friend and the empty spot in the hallway, "I mean, I guess we could go, for a little while, I couldn't let you go alone." she complied, happy once again to see her friend give a little happy smile.

"I can't let you guys go alone, I guess I'll tag along too," he jumped in. Carly looked up at him, thanks in her eyes. He didn't know at this point how he felt about her. His heart jumped a little when she smiled at him, but it wasn't as intense as it used to be. He wanted to tell his head that he was doing this for her, because he loved her, and he did, but he knew it wasn't just for her, it was also for Sam. He could tell that this little adventure of hers was going to go south fast, and if he could stop it before, or before it got out of hand, he would try.

His thoughts were interrupted by Sam's booming laugh, "Oh my God!" she screamed, walking up to him, and pinched his cheeks like a mother would her son, "Frednub thinks we need protection, better yet THINKS he can protect us!"

Freddie glared at her, "Oh Fredderly, I don't think I give you enough credit for being so funny," Sam continued to laugh, "Oh, if anything Fredweird _I_ would be the one protecting _you_."

"Sam, please be nice," Carly begged as the blonde pretended to wipe fake tears from her eyes, "He's just worried, and frankly so am I."

"I really don't see what you two are so worried about."

"Sam there are a probably going to be hundreds of people you don't know, anything could happen," Freddie complained.

"That's the whole point of a party Frednub, to meet people, I'm sorry I'm not like you and enjoy hanging around the same two people," she explained turning to Carly, "Though you're awesome," and continued to glare at Freddie after the statement, "Those who, to you, are the opposite gender, I think it's time you got some male friend my boy, I mean look at you, you're practically already have your period, which you are clearly on right now."

"I happen to like having close friends, rather than hanging with a group of people I hardly know, and….I got Gibby," He tried to say defensively, knowing that Gibby really wasn't someone you would be waving around proudly as your best guy friend.

"Yeahhh…" she smiled, "Gibby."

"What's wrong with Gibby?" Carly questioned her two best friends. Sam and Freddie simultaneously turned their heads to face her, Freddie looking over Sam's head, giving her a questioning look.

"Forget I said anything."

"uh huh, my point exactly," was all Sam could really say, and turned her body fully to Carly, "So the party?"

"I still don't feel comfortable about this one, there's just something about those guys I don't trust, I mean, I'm always up for parties, it's just my gut feeling is saying no."

"Carls it'll be fine, I mean you got me….and the dork, if that really counts," pointing her thumb over her back, pointing at him, "You'll be fine." she reassured her.

"Ok," feeling a bit better, "But we go as a group, and leave as a group." she said nervously, she was always one for parties, finding the hottest one and convincing her two friends to go, this was a big change of events, she had never had to be convinced to go.

"And if you wanna leave I'm sure Fredork here will take you home."

"Sam, when one of us wants to leave, we all leave." Freddie reinforced sternly, Sam scoffed at his attempt. Lately he had seemed to have grown a back bone and it was a very annoying and unexpected change in pace for her. It was a lot harder to rag on someone who spits back.

"Please, for me?" giving Sam the puppy dog eyes, using Carly's weapon against her, "Fine Carly, anything for you?" she lied through her teeth. Carly could tell by her posture, and the little twitch she got at the corner of her mouth when Sam lied to her. She would deal with that later, when the time came, she just hoped everything would work out.

"Alright, so I guess we could meet at my house later, a little before iCarly starts, after we can all get ready together!" Carly squealed, becoming more excited.

"Good deal."

"Okay."

* * *

><p>"Thank you Billy, for showing us that it really is funny when you push the elderly down the stairs," Sam cheered, pressing the applause button on her blue remote. The remote cheers coming out loud, but eventually dying down into a low hum. Sam shook it for a moment while Carly continued to speak.<p>

"And thank you Billy for giving Sam more ways to annoy not just the elderly, but the people around her,  
>Carly yelled in sarcastic joy, hugging her best friend tightly.<p>

"Well that's all we have for today," Carly cheered after a moment of posing with her short blonde friend.

"Tune in next week when we blow up Fredwards pants with pressurized air!" Sam practically screamed into the camera, squeezing in between her friend so the audience had an almost clear view of her face.

"Not really!" Carly yelled over her, smiling as she saw Freddie's eyes roll.

"BYE!" they both yelled as they saw Freddie giving them the signal to hurry up.

"And were clear, great show guys," Freddie complimented, setting his camera down onto his tech cart.

"Thanks," Carly replied sweetly to the compliment, "But what's wrong with Sam's remote?" obviously covering for Sam's lack of thanks to Freddie.

"I don't know, probably just needs new batteries, toss it over here," he explained, motioning for Sam to throw it over.

Sam not hearing him, continued to shake the small blue object violently, hoping that would make it work, "Sam, stop that, you're going to break it."

Ignoring him she carried on the motion then proceeded to press the small gray buttons destructively, "Sam seriously stop, I worked hard to make that."

"I got it Fredward, just give me a minute." she growled, practically punching the buttons with her fist.

"Sam really, how's that going to help?" he grumbled.

"Shut up Freddie, its fine, I got this."

"Sam, come on give it to him." Carly begged, knowing the outcome was not going to be pleasant.

"No Carls, it's fine." She slapped the top harshly into her palm repeatedly.

"Sam seriously, give it to me."

"FINE!" she screamed frustrated, throwing it at him.

"OW! SAM!" he cried, bringing his hand up to his face as he cringed in pain. The corner of the small blue devise had made contact with his right eye.

"Sam please!" Carly held her head in her hands, tired emotionally from them. She thought that over the years of knowing them she would have gotten used to them, that the headaches wouldn't come full force after spending any amount of time with them, but no matter how much she tried to calm her two friends, those sneaky little headaches would always pop back up. Sam just rolled her eyes, smirking to herself as she could see Freddie mumbling to himself softly.

"Come on Sam, we'll go get ready in my room," she grabbed Sam's wrist, dragging her over to the door of the studio and picked up her bag and slung it over her shoulder, knowing Sam would reject carrying anything, "Freddie, you can used the bathroom down the hall and meet us in my room when you're done changing," she told him, opening the door and leading Sam down the hall and up the stairs to her large purple room.

"Sam please you've got to tone it down with Freddie sometime," she ranted, placing Sam's backpack down on her dresser and made her way over to her own closest, "It's giving me a headache, you guys are friends, you shouldn't fight so much."

Sam sighed, opening her knapsack and pulling out her clothes, "It's the way it's always been Carly, nothing less and nothing more, I'm surprised you are still bothered by it, it doesn't bother me anymore," she explained, picking at her ripped jeans.

"It bothered you?" Carly asked, she could tell her friend was nervous by the way she picked at her clothing and bit her lip.

"No not really I guess, I mean I guess it did at first, I guess I was angry at him because he was going to permanently be a part of our everyday life, and I had to share my best friend," she explained uncomfortably, "I guess I don't hate him, it's just fighting is the only thing I know how to do with him, change is hard," she continued, taking off her baby blue t-shirt, slipping on her white tube top, watching Carly's back out of the corner of her eye, to see if she would turn around, prepared to change her expression on being uncomfortable to one of distain for the subject, "It was hard when he came into our lives that I just did it to push him out, but when I finally figured that he wasn't going away I accepted it."

She fixed her top, pushing it higher up onto her chest, "but by that time everything was so routine that I just didn't know how to stop," she explained mournfully. She removed her white high top sneakers, throwing them onto the floor beside her, and slid out of her dark wash skinny jeans, and stood there in her boy cut underwear, "I don't know how to act around him besides violently, because that's all I've ever done." she finished.

"You look nice," she told Carly, and she really did, the shirt black skirt showed off her beautiful long legs, and her red tight tank top made her lips and brown eyes pop.

"Sam, I've always known that you weren't comfortable around him," Carly admitted to her, "I've always felt some sort of guilt because I feel like I forced you to hang with him, but over the past few years you seemed to have gotten more comfortable, but I could always sense that feeling of nervousness around you when you're with him."

"I'm not nervous around Freddie," Sam corrected, "I'm just simply annoyed by him."

"Sam, I think we both know that isn't the problem," Carly pointed out, opening her drawer and digging around until she found the desired item, shoving it into Sam's chest, "Put this on, they will look better than those pants you were going to wear," she smiled, changing the subject, as it was becoming uncomfortable for the both of them.

"They will look really good on you, and enhance your assets," she giggled, slapping her friend bottom.

"Miss Carly Shay, did you just slap my ass you little prude," she questioned in surprise.

"I am _not_ a prude," Carly spat comically.

"Oh yes you are," Sam said, pulling the shorts up, and shoving her feet into her shoes, "you get all squirmy at the mention of any 'sacred body part'," she mocked her friend, repeating the quote she once heard her say.

"I'm not, so shut up," Carly pouted, adding one last roll of lip gloss to her red lips.

"Whatever you say," she smiled deviously.

Carly huffed at her mocking tone and moved on to brush her hair one last time. Stepping back to admire her chosen outfit when Sam's head popped in beside her, "PENIS!"

Carly screamed in shock and disgust, quickly placing the palms over her ears and hummed loudly to herself, hoping to erase the words from her memory.

"What are you talking about?" Freddie asked making an appearance in the room, fully dressed in dark jeans and a navy blue dress shirt.

"Carly being a prude," Sam explained matter-of-factly, pointing to her embarrassed friend, Freddie laughed at the sight.

"See, even Fredlumps agrees!" she clapped.

"No, no more talk of this," Carly said sternly, "We are ready so let's go." she stomped out of her room in mock anger, leaving Sam and Freddie to follow her, laughing softly.

Carly came down the stairs in a rush, her two friends closely behind her, but all stopped abruptly once they saw the state of the living room. Dark yellow sponge littered the floor in different sizes and odd shapes. The couch had been moved into the kitchen, making more room for the large tower looking structure in the middle. The sponge on the floor had been molded into a triangle, rectangles cut out at the bottom, the middle being hollowed out. Two large clear boxes beside him full of what looked like coloured bobbin pins, the kind that people use for outlining what they want to sew, one full of black and one full of a dark yellow. The bottom of the mass of yellow had been punctured by the black pins.

"Spencer, what happened to the living room, and what _is_ that?" Carly tilted her head, wondering if it may be an abstract type of sculpture.

"It's going to be the Eiffel tower when I'm done," he explained sticking some more black pins into the bottom," And watch out because I think there may be some on the floor."

"It's okay I got shoe's on, I'm leaving now by the way, I won't be out to late."

"Where are you – AHHHH!" Spencer shrieked like a small girl, pointing at Carly as he did so once he turned around to look at her.

"WHAT!" Carly yelled paniced, hopping back onto the stairs, nervous that she might have stepped on something.

"You are _not_ going out looking like…like…like _that_!" He ran up to her, looking at her in shock.

"What's wrong with the way I look?" she asked offended.

"I think you look hot." Sam joked, winking at her, which earned a 'be quiet' glare from Carly.

"Too much, too much!" he repeated.

"Too much what?" she asked frantically.

"Too much skin, you are not going anywhere dresses like that!"

"Spencer calm down, if it makes you feel better I'll put on a jacket," she reassured him, turning around to go up the stairs to retrieve one.

"Where are you even going looking like that?" he squeaked.

"I'm just going to a party."

"Oh no, no, no you're not." Reaching out and grabbing her by her shoulder's, bringing her into him.

"What, why not?"

"That outfit is too revealing, and I don't know where you're going, or who's going to be there."

"Uh oh, here comes 'Parental Spencer'." Sam whispered to Freddie, who laughed and nodded in agreement.

"Spencer, I'm not 6 anymore okay, I'll be fine, and I'll even come home tonight," she begged him.

"No Carly, I'm in charge and no you're not going!" He yelled almost childishly.

"You let me go to parties all the time!" she was beginning to get angry, an unusually sight for the prissy brunette.

"When you're dressed appropriately, and when I know whose house you're going to, whose house is it anyway?"

"How did you convince your mother to let you go to this thing?" Sam as Freddie quietly a few feet away from the fighting siblings, their conversation continuing in yelled and angry sighs.

"She's working the grave yard shift tonight, she thinks I'll be over here till 11, which is the time she leaves, and she will call my cell instead of coming over here, I'll just tell here I'm fine and at the Groovy smoothie and she won't even be back till later that night, she's always too tired after the night shift so she stays at her friend's house near the hospital until about 2 or 3 the next day."

"Ohhh, Benson," she teased, nudging him in the ribs with her elbow, "Didn't think you had it in you, guess I'm rubbing off on you huh?"

"Guess so," he smiled down at her.

"Spencer you're being so unfair!"

"I think I am, I let you go wherever you want, but this is one time I think it's safer to stay home."

"Spencer I swear I'll be safe, I'll call you every five minutes if I have too."

"And I'll be with her the whole time, so you know she'll be safe," Sam interjected, sensing her friend needed her help.

"That doesn't make me feel any better," panic still in his voice, he was panting now from yelling so much, "I don't want you going either!"

"What?" she asked dumbly.

"I don't want you going to this party either Sam, look at the way _you're_ dressed, your worse than Carly!"

"Hey, I happen to think I look nice," she pouted, no glared, angrily.

"No, you don't, that outfit is too revealing for you too."

No one said anything, Spencer was really freaking out, his breath was hard and loud and his face had gone red, sweat pouring down his face, "So Carly, go upstairs and change, you're staying here tonight, and Sam you too, you're staying here, I can't let you go out like this, I want to make sure you're okay."

Carly pouted, but complied and turned around, preparing to go up the stairs. She knew her brother was right, but she couldn't help but feel like she was missing out, even though she didn't really want to go to the party. She was relieved that Spencer was also yelling at Sam to stay back with them, meaning she would be looked after too and she didn't need to sit up all night worrying.

"No!" She turned around quickly; Sam was standing in front of Freddie, her arms crossed, an irritated expression on her face.

"What?" Spencer turned his body towards her, looking down at the small blonde girl.

"No, I'm not staying here, I'm going," she repeated.

"Sam, don't fight with him, just come back upstairs with me."

"No, I'm going," she said as she began walking towards the door, past Spencer.

"No, you're not." Spencer disagreed, grabbing her shoulder and whirling her around.

"Look Spencer, I appreciate the concern, but I'm still going," Sam was starting to get irritated at this point, and everyone could tell, but Spencer didn't back down.

"Go back upstairs with Carly and change, you're staying here," he told her again, pointing to the stairs case behind him.

"Spencer, you're not my parent, you're not my guardian, and you're not my parole officer, so you have no right to keep me here if I don't want to, so back off," she said sternly, taking her hand and pulling his arm off her shoulder, eyebrows knitting together in frustration.

"Sam, I'm serious."

"So am I."

Both Freddie and Carly watched as they stared each other down. No one had ever seen Spencer this angry, and Carly was becoming nervous, not knowing what would happen if Sam decided to get violent.

Sam gave up the staring war and made her way towards the door, she had now had enough, all she wanted to was go to the party and see Devon and maybe drink her weight in alcohol. As soon as she made it to the door and had managed to open it, when it was slammed shut, the door knob slipping forms her fingers.

"I said you're not going ANYWHERE!" Spencer yelled. Everyone was taken back, even Sam, this was now getting out of hand.

"Sam, come on, we don't need to go, you don't need to go, neither me or Carly wanted to go because we both knew it was unsafe," at this Spencer's eyes flickered to Carly's, giving her a sign that they were going to talk about that comment later, and looked down in front of him, back to the two teenagers, "It's better if we just stay here."

"Shut up Freddie," she glared, moving her head up to look at Spencer, "And you, I can do whatever the fuck I feel like, I'm almost eighteen, I'm old enough to look after myself," at that Freddie rolled his eyes, thankfully it was unnoticed by Sam, "So get the fuck out of my way before I make you."

Spencer ignored the language for the moment, too angry to care at the moment. He was at a cross roads, Sam was defiantly a challenge if they were to fight, he had two others that would back him up, but he also didn't want to force her to do anything, and legally he couldn't, so he went with an ultimatum, "Sam, you either stay here tonight with us, or you go to the party," he explained to her, her face full of smug satisfaction, as he opened the door to her, "and you're never allowed to come back."

"Spencer!" Carly gasped running up to them from the stairs.

"What?" it was now her turn to be confused.

"You heard me, you leave and you are never allowed to step foot in this apartment again, you can hang with Carly all you want, because I can't change that, but you can't come here anymore."

"Sam, it's not worth it," Freddie tried his best to convince her without her blowing up at him.

"Fine!" she screamed, turning to walk out the door.

"SAM NO!" She heard Carly yell in protest as she took the knob from Spencer's hands and slammed the door.

She was seeing red by this point, she couldn't believe that he would try and do that, telling her what to do, acting like he had power over her. Who did he think he was? If she wasn't so angry she would have felt touched by the sentiment, that he really cared, but she needed something, she needed the toxic liquid in her blood that she had been deprived of for too long now.

She was so into her internal rant that she hadn't noticed the Shay's door open and close quickly. She didn't notice the rushed footsteps nor the loud breathless yells of her name. She had only made it to the end of the hall before a hand grabbed her shoulder. Panicked and always on guard she wiped around and slapped whomever grabbed her in the face.

"Damn it Sam, I didn't do anything."

"What are you doing Freddie?" She asked, she was peeved right now, the fight and now this was stalling her.

"I'm going with you," he explained.

"Won't Spencer get mad at you?" she questioned, offended by the fact that Spencer was so lenient with him.

"No he's not happy with it, but we both thought it was better if I went to make sure you were alright."

"Yeah, like that's going to make much of a difference," she scoffed.

"Well, we might as well go, we have to walk now, Carly was our ride." she grumbled, annoyed.

"I got my mom's car, she going to be carpooling like she always does with the night shift, she always leaves me the car in case of an emergency, so I got the keys, and if we wait a few minutes," he said checking his watch, "We could leave after her and we would be back before her, she won't even know I took the car."

"I have to say, I'm a little surprised and impressed," she folded her arms, "What's with the sudden rebellion?"

"Believe me; it's not all of a sudden."

"What do you mean?"

"Never mind, we'll wait for 15 minutes down in the parking lot, let's go."

* * *

><p>The music boomed as they walked up to the large house. They had parked just down the street far enough away that no drunk teenager would see his mother car, but close enough that they wouldn't have to walk to far to get to it.<p>

"Well I guess this is the place," she said, closing her phone, Devon's name lighting the screen, along with the address of Andrew's home, "This place is huge," she said admiring the large house.

It was a three story home, large windows decorated the outside, giving them a clear view into the home. Teenagers scattered all over the place, red beer cups littered the front lawn, along with a few underage teens making out. The outside of the house a light peach colour, though it looked darker in the pale glow of the lights against it.

"Yeah, it's nice," he agreed, looking down to Sam who now had her phone out and open again, her face bathed in a mute blue, "Now Sam, try to be careful, and keep your phone on in case we get separated."

"Oh I'm planning on losing you, I didn't want to come here with you in the first place." she snickered, eyes still glued to the brightly lit device in front of her.

He signed heavily, wiping his hands over his face stressed out, "Sam if anything happened to you it's on my head, I told Spencer I would make sure nothing happened to you."

"Well that was your mistake wasn't it?" finally looking up at him, "Now let's go, I got people to see."

She walked forward, walking up the long walk way, stone crunching under her sneakers. Once she opened the door the music hit her ear drums, making her body thump along to the heavy bass. People were everywhere, they had trouble even opening the door, Sam having to forcefully move a bunch of girls out of the way, Freddie apologized after. Sam made her way to what looked like a kitchen after checking her phone one last time. Freddie followed her, manoeuvring his way through the sea of people, Sam having a much easier time due to her smaller body, Freddie could hardly keep up with her. Something gushed under his feet, the carpet obviously wet with spilled drinks, or what he hoped was a drink.

He had lost Sam in the crowed, leaving him stranded in the mass of hot bodies. Forcing himself over to a large table full of food, he sat on the couch, it was comfy and in front of the food, a perfect spot, well perfect enough for him, since he would probably be spending the rest of the night there. He pulled out his phone and began to text Sam, wondering where she had gone, he wasn't expecting a text back from her, her earlier comment making it obvious she didn't want to spend the night with him, but he had to try.

"Hello," a voice came from beside him, "Mind if I sit down with you?" she batted her eyelashes.

She was cute in his opinion, tall, long brown hair, brown eyes, she reminded him of Carly in a way. Her outfit was quite revealing, a short black strapless dress covered her body.

"Yes, sure," he replied, patting the cushion beside him.

"Thanks," she squealed, gently plopping down beside him, "You're so cute."

"Thanks," he blushed, not used to girl coming on to him, "You look really nice tonight." he complimented back.

"You're so nice," she giggled, pulling up to him, grabbing his arm, "so…do you have a girlfriend?"

"No,"

"Oh, that's too bad, a handsome guy like you," she cooed, brushing her fingers through his hair, making the gel separate, causing his perfectly placed hair to fall over his eyes, "but that doesn't mean you're not up for a little fun, right?"

He could smell it on her breath, she was drunk, probably so drunk that she didn't even know what his name was, let alone be able to remember who he was the next morning.

"No, that's alright," he said, trying to scoot away from her, but the grip on his arm was hard and firm, she was not letting go, "I think that maybe you should lay down or something."

"Hmm…I know a place," she giggled again, her hot sweaty hands moving the hair close to his neck out of the way, her lips latching onto the exposed skin.

"No, right here is fine, just lay down," he choked out nervously.

"Oh, kinky." she smiled against his neck, nipping and biting at it some more. She pulled her body onto him, startling his right leg, her knee connecting painfully into his crotch, "Okay, I think that's enough," he said as she began to grind against him.

Her moans became louder and faster as she continued to move her body against him, and he couldn't help but thrust himself against her, the mix of her body, and the pressure on his lower region sending him into a high, her dress riding up, exposing her white lace underwear. He was a man, a teenager at that, and he had hormones and he had needs, that he would take care of privately in his bathroom at night, but he was also a gentlemen, and he couldn't let her do this to herself, not in public, not with someone she didn't know, and not when she wasn't aware of what she was doing.

Just as he was about to lift the girl off him, out of the corner of his eye he saw a head of blonde hair. It could have been anyone, and at this point he would look at any blonde that passed his way, checking if it was Sam, and lucky enough, it was, but she wasn't alone. Devon was gripping her tightly around the waist, holding her up against him, obviously too drunk to walk. He was slightly kissing her neck, earning hoots and hollers from his friends as he have them the thumbs up sign, then made his way the stairs, whispering into Sam's ear, He knew that something was up, something was always up with someone like him, and with adding someone like Sam to the mix, it was a recipe for disaster.

Thrusting up one more, he managed to send her body flying upwards, catching her in his arms, and as gently as he could, placed her down on the couch beside him. He could hear her disappointed moans, and he felt the same way as she did, the southern hemisphere of this body swelling and begging for attention, but he couldn't let Sam out of his sight when he finally found her.

He ran through the crowd and towards the stairs he had seen Devon take Sam to, his body once again causing him trouble has he forcefully pushed people out of the way, earning him loud complaints and protest, but he didn't care as he only had one thing on his mind.

Find Sam.

* * *

><p>When she had arrived at the party she wasn't in the best of moods, the fight with Spencer and the fact that Freddie was pretty much forced to watch over her while she was at the party really brought down her mood, all she wanted was a drink to bring down her stress level, badly.<p>

She had to lose Freddie, which didn't really prove to be all that hard; she was having a hard time making it through all the teenagers, knitted tightly close together, moving around to the place in front of him, making him have to 'excuse' himself every time he asked them to move. She was happy, for the first time, that she was relatively small and had the advantage of slipping under and through the dancing teens with ease.

She circled around for a while, leading Freddie every which way, not letting him on to what room or what place she would stop at, he was so busy at looking where he was going that he had lost sight of her, big mistake. She ducked down into the crowd before he had managed to look up, slipping off to the side, and ran right down the long extended hallway.

She had been texting Devon ever since they had been waiting to sneak out to Mrs. Benson car; she and Freddie had spent 15 minutes in complete silence, the first two becoming awkward, so she was thankful for the distraction when Devon had texted. He had told her to meet him in a certain room, on the first floor down the hall near the kitchen.

So there she was counting doors until she reached the 4th one. She was a little nervous about opening it, tones of Devon's friends would be behind that door, waiting for her. She didn't do well around people she didn't know, she usually left that kind of stuff to Carly, so she would have to go in alone and introduce herself and stand there awkwardly as she looked around for a place to sit, yes, sound like a blast.

Grabbing to door handle she turned it slowly, hoping that the confidence she had left somewhere between the Shay's apartment and the front door would have time to catch up with her. She wanted to back out, but it was too late, someone must have noticed the door handle turning, and running away like a frightened child really wasn't good for her image, so she turned it fully around and opened the door with fake confidence plastered on her face.

"Hey Sam!" Devon yelled, grabbing everyone's attention in the small room. She felt panicked again, the last time she encountered this at Devon's house she had already downed enough alcohol to calm her nerves, making her wish that she had made the time to chug a few cups down before she went searching for them. Carly would usually take care of the introductions while Sam searched for any type of food, needless to say, most of the parties Carly dragged them too were either birthday parties or have an unfortunate lack of alcohol.

"Hey," she greeted, forcing her body forward, sitting in the vacant spot beside him. He handed her a drink, it was clear, ice covered the top layer, making it cold against her lips. While she chugged the drink down, her eyes scanned the room. The place was quite small, which surprised her considering the size of the house; it was about the same size, maybe smaller, than her own bedroom. There were two couches pressed so close together that if she decided to out her feet up she could reach it. Andrew sat across from her, his arm around a small red head, the only other girl in the room she noticed, along with the two other boys' from Sunday, whom she never figured out the name too. Two other boys occupied the spots beside Devon and another on the single seat closest to the window, a small table full of different drinks and chasers.

"I'm glad you made it babe," he said, putting his arm around her shoulders, causing her to spill her drink slightly.

"Me too," she replied, finishing off her first drink nervously.

"So this is Sam huh?" the boy sitting beside Devon asked, his brown eyes shifting a bit, having trouble keeping them steady, obviously they had been at it longer than she has expected.

"Yeah, she's something huh?" he said proudly, tucking her hair behind her ear, and to behind her back, giving them a better view of the blonde. She shivered nervously as their eyes bore into her, looking at her like she was a piece of meat, and she found herself in an awkward position, this must have been how other's felt when she was about to attack, and she had to say she felt a bit of pity on them.

"Devon, can I get another drink?" she asked in fake politeness.

"Sue, anything for you," he smiled, motioning the ginger boy on the end of the couch to make up another drink. She was not pleased; she was hoping Devon or his other friend over there would get up to make it so they would stop staring at her.

"So, is it just you here?"

"No," she said, "Freddie's here too, he drove me," she explained, grabbing the drink when it was handed it to her.

"Freddie?" he questioned, his voice had gotten lower, almost sounding dangerous, the little ring and pounding in her ears was telling her to get away.

"Yeah, what about him?" she asked curiously.

"Nothing, I'm just surprised, I thought you hated him…" he trailed off.

"Oh I do, but I needed a ride," she explained, downing the rest of her drink again, not wanting to upset him.

"Good to hear," he said, a smile on his face as he looked down at her, "Very good to hear," he repeated, lifting her head up to the side, placing soft kisses near her ear.

"Can I get another," waving her empty red cup around, hoping for another distraction.

"Sure," he whispered into her ear, sending chills down her spine, "Hey Luke, get her something stronger, she's downing them fast," he joked, the boy giving him the thumbs up.

"Am I making you nervous?" he said gently, running his fingers through her hair, "I don't want to make you feel like that."

"No, no, I'm fine, I guess I just need another drink," she said, reaching over him to take the drink from the brown eyed boy.

"Good, it wouldn't be a party without you beautiful," he leaned down to kiss her cheek again, "You know, I'm really glad you came."

"Really?"

"Yeah," he began playing with her hair, "I was so nervous you didn't want to talk to me again because of what your friends kept telling you, I'm not a bad guy, people just assume stuff about me, and I don't want you to feel bad towards me, I really like you," he whispered into her ear, putting on fake hurt.

"Really, you like me?" she looked up at him starry eyed. He really liked her, he was being to gentle and sweet, trying to make her feel comfortable and confiding in her, and he picked her out of every other girl.

"Yeah, you're beautiful and sweet," he cooed at her, lifting her up towards him, "I don't think I would pick any other girl but you, I don't think I've ever felt this way about any other girl."

Her eyes began to water up slightly, the alcohol taking its effect on her body. Her heart was pounding, and even though the warning bells were going off, louder than ever, she ignored them, because she was so happy.

Following his lead and drinking the rest of the beverage in her cup he bent down and kissed her on the corner of her lips, he knew by experience that she would either reject him or pull him in for more. She had already had three drinks, all mixed with very strong alcohol, and he could see that her face was red and her eyes following lead, small cracks of red forming in them, and he took that as his sign to begin.

Giving the ginger boy a signal that looked like he was just casually scratching his neck he grabbed the cup from him, "Sam, do you want another drink?" he asked, taking her empty cup and handing her another.

She took the cup and drank from it. It tasted normal, the intense taste of the Gin spreading throughout her mouth. She looked up at the clock and noticed that she had only been here for maybe less than a half hour, and her head was already clouded and the room was tilting slightly. She actually began to think about what Freddie might be doing, but shook it off, as there was another boy in front of her that just told her how much he liked her, and she felt guilty for thinking about someone else.

It only took a few minutes, but she could feel it as she topped off another drink. It was almost like she was behind glass, the voices of everyone in the room began to become muffled and hard to pin point, and her vision began to blur, everything mixing together into a beautiful mess of colour. She could hear her name being called close to her ear over and over again, more voices joined in, some yelling her name and some laughing, but she didn't care as her body relaxed.

It was short lived though as her limp body was pushed upwards, only to be placed back down a moment later onto a harder surface. Her name was called again, but cut off. She could feel the hot hands on her body, running up and down, gently pulling at her shirt and pants. A warm wet sensation appeared on her neck, a humming along with it, she could feel a wet thick substance leaking down her neck, but she couldn't figure out what it was.

She couldn't help but moan loudly, she would have been embarrassed if she knew what was going on, or maybe remembered there were other people in the room, but she didn't. She could hardly feel her limbs by this point, a numb feeling slowly spreading throughout her body. She almost felt like she was in a dreamlike state, her body was acting on its own accord and she was just watching it.

The soft lips on her neck neck began to move upwards until it was connecting with hers. She let out a breathy moan and slightly kissed back, as her body was feeling heavy. Another hum came under her lips, almost like a laugh this time as it was more defined and loud. Once the lips left hers she once again was manhandled to sit upright in a sitting position, her legs parted and she was high above the body below her, straddling them.

She let out a small scream as she was yanked down until she was flush against the body beneath her. She let out another strangled moan as sweaty hands began to come in contact with the exposed skin under her shirt. Her body was reacting to the chills the hands left; she could feel her chest swelling and began to grind upwards. She could hear laughing coming from all around her, but the pounding in her ears made it hard for her to concentrate on anything else but the person in front of her.

"Wow, she's really going at it," a soft feminine voice said.

"Well she already gave him a blow job, might as well go all for it," the laugh was loud, loud enough to break through the thumping, but not loud enough for her to really care.

She growled in protest as her body soared into the air, thick arms around her waist steadied her movements when her legs gave way, picking her up wand walking, making her feel like she was walking on air.

She heard the click of a door, followed by the hard boom of music filled her ears. She was being wiped around, hair flying everywhere, loud screams and laughs from the drunken' bodies around her littered the air. It didn't bother her for long as a soft whisper in her ear began to flutter. She could only hear mumbles but every so often a word would make it to her ear drum.

Her body began to jerk up and down as the person began to climb up the stairs, holding tight onto her. The motion began to make her feel ill, her mixture of alcohol and stomach acid swirling together began to push up, making her feel sick. It felt as though it was blocking her airways, causing her breath to come out laboured and hard, and tears began to form in her eyes.

The next thing she knew she was laying on a bed, a very soft one. She didn't know where she was or how she got there. Everything was moving so fast, causing the horrible feeling to become more intense. Her body was hot; her face broke out into a sweat, making the clothes on her body stick to her.

It didn't help when a heavy mass laid on top of her, closing in on her and sharing the heat with her. She growled in protest, but was relieved when the body on top of her was removed, along with, in one swift motion, her tube top as well. The cool air around her breezed across her skin, making her lean her head back and moan.

More thick moans filled the air, and ruffles of clothing. Once again those hot lips were on her skin, and red filled her vision, the warning was becoming more and more prominent in her mind and was becoming hard to ignore, but the rising heat around her levelled higher and over powered the red lights.

Moans and gasps started up again, the temperature raised and she began to sweat again. Pleasure words were screamed and she couldn't tell whose mouth it was coming from. She hummed quietly in happiness when hands slipped down to her shorts; undoing the button and zipper, letting more air touch her body. Her glassy eyes rolled back as her head began to swirl and fuzz, her throat close up.

As soon as the wish came, it had been granted, as the heavy sweat that was once mixing with hers ended, and her body began to cool down. She just lay there in pain, the muscles in her legs and arms in pain, tears forming in her eyes as she had never felt this kind of hurt before.

She could hear screams, and the rattle of the dresser she guessed was in the room, the drawers slamming against the wood of the frame. Skin on skin contact echoed in the room, grunts and painful moans accompanied it, and then silence.

She tried to relax, but her body felt like it was on fire. She felt as though bugs were crawling all over her body, making her itch, and cry out in frustration, tears sticking to her eyelashes. Suddenly the now lose shorts were beginning to tighten and restricted, hands fumbling around, they seemed careful and nervous as they zipped her up. The burning heat returned when the sweaty top was placed back on her body.

"Come on Sam, sit up." she heard.

He grabbed her body, tugging it upward into a semi-sitting position, and she leaned into the cool hands holding her. She opened her eyes slowly, squinting at the light as it burned her baby blues. Blinking a few times, trying to adjust herself to the bright lights around her, she managed to open them, making out the figure in front of her.

"Freddie?" she questioned, finally making out the brown hair and warm brown eyes.

"Yeah Sam, it's me, come on, we gotta get you out of here," he urged, placing his arms around her waist, helping her place her feet on the scratchy carpet.

"No Freddie, it's hurts," she whined. Her muscles were tightening with every movement, and it was causing her a great amount of pain.

"It's alright Sam," he reassured her, bending down to her knees and throwing her over his shoulder, but quickly dropped her down onto the bed once he heard her screech in pain,

"What's wrong?" he yelled panicked.

"My," she couldn't bring herself to finish her sentence, and just pointed continuously at her stomach.

"Your stomach hurts, did I hurt you when I did that?" talking to her almost as if she were a child, but figuring it was the only way to get any information out of her.

He was then greeted with a few small nods and a pouting lip. He couldn't help but feel bad, though they were contently at each other's throats, it still pained him to see someone he knew for so long, someone he thought was one of the strongest people he knew, reduced to a weak crying mess in front of him.

"Okay, we'll try something else," he said, turning around to make sure the door was open wide enough, he turned to her and grabbed around her knee's, lifting them up and brought his other hand to support her back as he lifted her up into the air.

He huffed and began to walk quickly down the hall, panic on his face, he had to get her out of here. He walked carefully down the stairs, careful to not lose grip on the crying girl and to make sure he didn't cause her anymore pain.

No one seemed to notice them, too caught up in their own world, and he was thankful for that, he didn't want anyone seeing Sam like this. He let Sam's legs drop to the floor momentarily, letting her body lean against the wall beside the door and he opened it, hearing her cry out once again. Once he managed to open the door, he lifted her back up into the pervious carrying position and walked out the door, not caring enough to close it behind him.

He made his way to the car, glad he managed to only park on the end of the street, and not having to circle the block repeatedly to find a spot. His knees felt like they would give way, mixed with the weight of Sam's body and the fact that he himself was tired he hoped that he made it in time.

Letting out a joyful yell when he found the dark gray car, he set Sam's trembling body down on the side walk, leaning her up against the car, looking back at her every few minutes to make sure she hadn't hurt herself. He fumbled around in his pockets for the keys, not remembering what pocket he had put them in, his anxiety rising when he looked through each pocket and couldn't find them until he reached the last one, frustrated that it took him so long to find it.

Grabbing the key he shoved it into the lock, giving it a quick turn and wiggling it around to retrieve it from the lock. Placing it back in his pocket it opened the door, and went back to Sam. During that time she had started screaming slightly, whimpering every few minutes and grabbing her head in aggravation.

He lifted her up and softly placed her down into the passenger's seat, careful not to upset her anymore. He reached over her body to buckle her seat belt, tugging it a few time to make sure it wasn't loose, helped her straighten up, and leaned the seat back a bit to make her more comfortable, then quickly shut the door, which earned a dissatisfied moan from Sam.

He quickly raced around the car and unlocked the driver's side with more ease as he did not have to worry about Sam on the side walk, knowing that she was safe with him. He started the car and turned down the music so it wouldn't bother her buckled up and drove off.

He sped down the street, adrenaline pumping in his head, he was nervous and frightened, he didn't know what to do, all he knew was he needed to get her someplace safe. He kept his eyes open for cops and took the back roads to the complex, as to avoid any unwanted attention.

Sam cried out again in pain, she felt it getting worse. Her head was thumping in her skull; her brain felt too big for her head and like it was going to explode. Her veins started to restrict and seemed like they were too small, like the blood was stopping, making her head dizzy and eyes blur even more. The muscles in her legs and arms throbbed and she kicked them in attempt to loosen the feeling, but it didn't work, and she let out a choked out scream, catching Freddie's attention.

"You alright?" he asked, turning the corner into the Bushwell parking lot, but was only met with another moan of disapproval.

She didn't know when he got there, or how long it took, but the next thing she knew was Freddie was opening the passenger side door and taking her up into his arms. Once he got a good grip on her he slammed the car door closed with his hip and began to make his way to the complex.

He didn't know where to take her, at first he thought he should take her to the Shay's, he knew by now they would both be asleep, and he didn't know if Spencer would want to deal with Sam right now, nor did he think Carly could emotionally deal with her best friend looking like this. So he decided that his place would be their destination, it would be quiet and he could deal with her and this situation in the morning.

Sliding into the elevator, he let her down, and pressed the number needed to take them to his floor. He bent down and held Sam to him, trying to calm her down, with no such luck. She was crying hard, and at random times she would hiccup, indicating that she was not getting enough air.

"Calm down, it'll be okay," She was upset, which was starting to make him upset as well. He placed his hand on her bare shoulders, and retreated when he noticed the skin was hot and sticky, his hand being able to slide off of her with ease, like she had been in a swimming pool.

He looked up when he heard the ding that told him that the elevator had stopped and they were on the floor. He moved her slightly, coaxing her to stand up, grabbing her waist and picking her up, finding this would be easier than picking her up to only put her back down after the few feet they had to get to the door.

Practically having to drag Sam to his door, he was relieved when he finally made it. He was sweating horribly now, not to mention the sweat coming off of Sam. Digging for his keys again, he tried to make sure Sam kept quiet, careful not to wake the Shay's or anyone else on the floor.

Once he managed to open the door, he picked up Sam once again, having left his door open he would have anymore obstacles to manoeuvre around. She was still crying, saying his name every few minutes to make sure it was still him, something must have happened for her to want to be so close to him of all people.

"Okay Sam, I'm gonna put you down now alright, just hang on," he told her, sitting her down on the side just below his bed, she was sweating profusely and he didn't want her getting the sheets wet. He could feel the heat coming off her, she was burning up, and he had to get her temperature down. He didn't want to put her in the bath, she would have to sleep in wet underwear if she did, because he wasn't about to strip her right down, that would be going too far, and he didn't want to make her feel more uncomfortable than she already was.

"Okay Sam, I don't want to scare you, but I have to take off your shirt, you're way to hot," he explained, wanting to make sure that she knew what was going to be happening.

Once he received a nod he grabbed the bottom of her white top, slipping it up over her chest to her armpits. He grabbed her hand and raised it up and pulled the material up over it, letting it sit on her shoulder, and did the same with the other side until he could bring it up over her head.

She gave a happy sigh as the air hit her boiling skin, and leaned her head back, "Alright, now your shorts okay," he asked again, popping the button and pulling the zipper down. He grabbed the sides and practically forced them down. It was hard because she was sitting and wasn't capable of sitting up, so he had trouble getting them around her bottom.

Throwing the shorts to the side, he made sure she was steady and got up and left the room. He made his way to the kitchen and grabbed the ice pack from the freezer and a 2 wash cloths. He took the wash cloth and put them both under the cold water for a moment, soaking them, and rang them out before shutting off the water and went towards the bathroom to grab a towel.

"Freddie!" he heard her yell from his room. She began to cough loudly and painfully and he knew what was coming. Quickly grabbing the towel and opening the drawers under the sink he grabbed the pristine tin bowl from underneath and ran towards his room.

She was still coughing loudly, her breath was laboured and she was still yelling his name over and over. She stopped for a moment and held her stomach, and that's when it came. He quickly put the bowl he had gotten from the bathroom in front of her face, letting the hot substance fall into it. Freddie's mother always kept and sterilized the bowl for when he was sick; saying that putting your face in the toilet was unsanitary, even though the toilet was probably sterilized like everything else.

She cried harder and harder, which upset her stomach more, and caused her to continue to release more of the contents of her stomach, "Make it stop Freddie," she whined, looking up at him after she was done.

"I can't Sam, I wish I could, you just have to let it get out of your system," he told her.

"But it's so hot," she cried, putting her face back into the bowl. He took one of the wash clothes from the pile and began rubbing it along her skin, wiping the sweat from her body. It felt nice to her, one little thing that made this more bearable.

"Are you okay now?" he asked once her heaves had stopped, her breathing had slowed down, and she just sat there, staring into space.

"Mmm Hmm," she moaned, dropping the bowl down between her legs.

"Okay," he said, taking the bowl and going to his own bathroom. He dumped the bowl out into the toilet, and quickly flushed it. He washed it out with soap and water before returning back to her.

"Alright, I need to clean you up a bit," he placed the tin bowl on the night stand incase she needed it again, and picked up the wash cloth again and continued to wash the sweat off her body.

Her crying had slowed down into sniffles and hiccups, as he washed her. Her head had stopped spinning but the world around her was still slightly blurred. She could still make out Freddie's face and feature's, which made her feel safe.

She didn't feel threatened by his presence, danger didn't prickle off his skin and his eyes were calm and caring, nothing like Devon, where she felt beautiful, but not safe. Everything Freddie did was to make her feel comfortable, with Devon she felt out of place and scared, but she still liked him.

She gasped as a colder cloth was placed on her face. She couldn't see it but her make-up was running, her mascara and eye liner was smuggling around her eyes because of how much she was sweating.

He was gentle while dealing with her face, wiping every speck of foundation off, revealing puffy red cheeks. He turned the cloth over and began to work around her eyes, the black staining the cloth, which he guessed he may have to throw away after. Once he was done he looked right into her face, the dark black mascara was gone revealing dark blonde eyelashes. He had never really noticed that she wore make-up, but this was the first time he really saw her eyelashes and they were quite pretty, totally a different look from Carly's dark ones.

"Alright Sam, I'm gonna put you on the bed now okay?" he asked, and watched her nod again. He stood up and moved the covers around, making a nice little spot to lay her down. He reached under her arms and hoisted her up onto the bed, guiding her head to the pillow, and pulling her feet up and under the comforter.

He grabbed the ice pack and the towel on the floor and wrapped it around the cold compress. Walking over to her he placed it down on her stomach, receiving a surprised gasp from her.

"Cold," she complained, pushing him away. He then noticed her stomach, finally getting a good look at the blonde girl. She looked a lot thinner, her stomach was sunk in and he could see the beginning outline of her ribs. What was going on?

"Just let it sit for a while, you need to cool down," he urged her, placing it down on the stomach again.

She whined again, but kept it there. Once he was sure she wasn't going to move it she took only the sheet and wrapped it around her, hoping to keep an awkward situation at bay the next morning when she realized that she was half naked in Freddie's bed.

"Freddie," she gasped, "I'm scared."

Freddie looked at her in surprised, "What are you scared of?" he asked her, hoping to learn some new information.

"Scared," she cried out again, and grabbed his hand, and began to cry again.

"What are you scared of Sam, I can't help you if you don't tell me," he pleaded.

"Scared," she sobbed again, pulling him down to her, "Stay."

"You want me to stay with you?" he questioned nervously. As much as he really wanted to stay, that was going to earn an awkward explanation in the morning. She nodded.

"I don't think you want me to do that," he told her trying to remove is arm, but she noticed and clenched on again.

"Stay!" she practically yelled.

"Okay, okay, I'll stay, just let me change," he said, standing up.

"NO! STAY!" she started crying again.

"Okay, I'll stay," he crawled over her, knowing she wasn't going to let go. He pulled down the covers, still holding her hand, he kicked his shoes off, and unbuttoned his pants and slid them off, he figured that was about as many clothes as he should take off.

He slid into bed with her and pulled the sheet up over top of him, as he was still hot himself. She looked over at him; squeezing his hand again she turned onto to side, the cold ice pack falling off her body as she did so. He grabbed the large package and put it back onto her side, and scooted closer to her.

He began to rub her back as she began to calm down. She couldn't pick out her surrounding, or quite pin point where she was, but she could see Freddie, she could feel him and hear his voice, and that was enough for her.

The light comforting motions on her back started to lull her to sleep. Even though she wasn't aware of the world around her, she was with Freddie, and she knew she was safe.

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><p><strong>Disclaimer; I do not own iCarly or any of the Characters.<strong>

**So here's the chapter I've been working my hardest on, so I hope you all like it, and I hope it satisified your Seddie craving's.**

**If there are any parts of this story that don't seem clear to you, tell me, and I'll make sure to clear things up in upcoming chapters, I don't want anyone feeling confused or dissatisfied. **

**Thanks you those who reviewed: jhuikmn08, XxThe Penny TreasurexX, pos, mileycfan4eva and an anynomous person who wrote in a random user name as. :)**

**A big thanks to jhuikmn08 who took the time to edit this chapter for me! (truly awesome)**

**Enjoy!**


	11. Chapter 10: Rhinestone Eyes

**Chapter Ten: Rhinestone Eyes**

_So call the mainland from the beach,  
>Your heart is now washed up in bleach,<br>The waves are rising for this time for year.  
>And nobody knows what to do with the heat,<br>Under sunshine pylons we'll meet,  
>Rain is falling like rhinestones from the sky.<br>-Gorillaz_

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><p>Freddie sat in the large black arm chair in his living room, letting his tense body relax into the soft cushion, looking at the clock he realize that it was 6 in the morning. It had been a stressful night for him, though he had made sure Sam had fallen asleep, he himself couldn't. He spent most of the night holding Sam while she tossed and turned, moaning in pain in her sleep, trying to calm her down and making sure her body didn't over heat. Sam looked so stressed out, tears unconsciously falling from her closed eyes, her mouth turned down and her eyebrows knitted together.<p>

Many times that night she had woken up in pain, the vomit making its way from her mouth and into the bowl he had placed beside the bed. Freddie found himself having to hold her hair back, than grabbing the water bottle from inside the night stand to wash out her mouth, not matter how much she protested. He would have to pull her back up, lay her down back into the mattress, wrapping the thick blanket around her and rubbing slow circles on her back to help calm her laboured breathing until she relaxed into his arms.

Around a quarter to 6 he had finally pride Sam off of him, laying her back down on his bed, wrapped tightly in his Galaxy Wars bed sheets, and for once in a long time, saw that she had a relaxed expression on her face, something that he missed. Lately she seemed to always be tense around everyone, even him and Carly, and something was always off about her, but he couldn't help but feel a smile spread across his face as he watch her finally settle down into a peaceful sleep.

Freddie found himself only being able to enjoy 45 minutes of relaxation before he heard her go into another coughing fit and rushed back into his room to see her laying on her side, curled into a ball. He quickly sat her up and guided her to the bowl that was half way full and held her while she once again puked out into the tin. Once he made her rinse out her mouth he twisted the cap back onto the top pof the water bottle and grabbed the bowl, walking to the bathroom to dump it out and once again return to the room where Sam now lay asleep.

This continued all day, sitting down only to get back up again a while later to make sure Sam was okay and settling her down again had become routine, once in a while he would get something to eat or watch television, but nothing seemed to break the cycle, until about 5 o'clock when Sam seemed to come out of her daze and returned to reality.

What had made him realize Sam was now coming back to the world of the living was that she had been quite for about 2 hours, and he had become worried, but was made him get up was the loud groan from his bedroom. Lifting his tired body from the couch he once again made the routine trip from the living room to his room, dragging his feet along the carpet, his head hanging low in exhaustion, as he hadn't gotten any sleep all night, nor all day, as he didn't see the point if he had to keep getting up to look after her.

When Freddie managed to open the door for the final time he was met with the sight of a very tired and very bewildered looking Sam. She was sitting half propped up on his bed, the pillows behind her keeping her from falling back and hitting her head on the shelf above it. Her eyes were blood shot, making the bright blue stand out against it, tears running down from them, leaving small wet trails down her high cheeks. Her eyes where fluttering between open and closed, making her look almost high, the expression on her face told him she was confused, looking around the room and at the blankets surrounding her, but her expression seemed to change into one of realization when she figured out where she was.

"How are you feeling?" Freddie asked form the door way. He noticed that she wasn't exactly focused on him, but she was aware enough to know that he was there, talking to her.

It took a few minutes for her to form the words, opening and closing her mouth, but she eventually managed to let out a moan and whisper something that sounded like she was in pain. Freddie frowned and made his way out of the room and into the bathroom, he thought as he looked down that he could see the carpet wearing from his consent walking the same trail. Once in the bathroom he opened the First Aid Kit from under the sink and pulled out a small white bottle, unscrewed the top and let two small greenish capsules fall into his hands, putting the lid back on and placing it back into the box, he kicked it back under and again, went to his room.

When he got back Sam was in the same position she was in before he left, her eyes watched his every movement as he walked over to his beside stand and pulled out another water bottle and sat down beside her. Freddie leaned over her and grabbed the two pillows beside her which he used to sleep on and put them behind her, propping her up.

Freddie took her hand and opened it, placing the two small pills into her hand. Sam only looked at them for a moment before throwing them into her mouth and taking the water bottle from Freddie's hands and swallowed them. After a few more gulps and her handing it back to him, Sam watch as he set it back on the table beside him.

Freddie didn't know, nor expect, what happened next. When he turned around he felt a tug on his shirt, making his body forcefully jerk forward, Sam's tiny fingers curled around this pyjama top, so tight it was almost chocking him. The look on her face almost made him go into a panic, her large blood shit eyes were stairing back at him angrily, her eyebrows knitted close together and her mouth turned down into a frown.

"What the _fuck_ am I doing here, and why am I half_ naked_!" she screamed angrily into his face, teeth clenched tightly, pointing down to her scarcely clothes body.

"Damn it Sam," Freddie chocked out, his hands grasping onto hers, yanking them off so he could breath.

"Well?" Sam once again screamed at him, pulling the sheets of the bed up to her chest, shielding them away from his eyes.

Freddie stood up from the bed, standing just out of arms reach so he could prepare for any other surprise attacks from the now angry girl. Looking down at her from his position she looked both pissed off and exhausted, but her anger took over and she was now wide awake, he hadn't seemed to have thought through how he was going to deal with her once she woke up, he knew he was going to have to explain to her why she was in fact in her under wear in his room, but during the few hours he had spent lounging around on the couch he hadn't even thought once of what he was going to do or say.

During that time he went over and over in his head of what happened last night, he had missed so much and he hadn't a clue about what had happened between her and Devon, there was a large blank spot that she needed to fill, and he didn't know if she was ever going to talk about it, it also accrued to him that she might not remember anything, considering the condition he had found her in.

"Do you remember anything from last night?"

Sam looked up at him, giving him an are-you-stupid look, "What does that have to do with what I just asked you!"

"Everything actually, if you remembered anything form last night, you would know why you are in the position you are now," he explained, "So what do you remember?"

Sam leaned against the pillows behind her, resting her head on the small shelf above the bed. The anger was now subsiding as she went into deep thought, the pain in her body becoming propionate in her body as she relaxed. She wouldn't remember much form the night before, but she wasn't so worried about that fact, most of the time she couldn't remember anything that had happened, but the look Freddie was giving her and the tone of his voice was making her nervous, making her wonder of something had actually happened, and she wasn't as lucky as she had been before.

"I remember getting there and running through the crowd to get rid of you," she began.

"You actually tried to get rid of me," Freddie stared, a little hurt.

"Oh don't act surprised Fredward, I told you that before we went in, and it was expected weather I told you or not."

Freddie couldn't help but mentally agree, but it still didn't stop him from feeling wounded from her words. He spent the entire party, all night, and the better part of the day worrying about her and she wouldn't even give him a thanks, but that was also expected too.

"Do you remember anything else?" Freddie sighed.

"Going into the back room and having some drinks…." she trailed off, running her fingers through her messy hair.

"Who was back there?" he asked, already knowing the answer, but he felt as if he should ask anyway.

"Devon…Andrew…some other random people I don't know…" Sam continued to zone in and out as she talked, "You flirting with some skank," she told him bluntly, "Never took you for that kinda guy Benson," she laughed.

Freddie glared down at her, offended. He _wasn't_ that kind of guy, and he really didn't appreciate her implying that he was, he worked hard to be and come off as a gentlemen, and he was angry that she thought he would take advantage of someone.

"I'm not," he told her in a low monotone voice, "and the only reason I was with said 'skank' is because my _'friend'_ ditched me, and I can talk to anyone I wish too and it doesn't HAVE to be sexual."

Sam chuckled, letting her hand fall to her side and looked up at him, "Too bad the only girls you can talk to are the ones you have to pay for."

Freddie's hands tightened into a fist, "She was a nice girl, and I didn't have to 'pay' for her Sam."

"Oh yeah, I could see that by the way she was _grinding _on you," she retorted, not making eye contact with him.

Freddie stood up, finally having enough of her rude behaviour, "You should be thanking me instead of sitting on my bed insulting me after I went out of my way to look after you, you should be GREATFUL, but all you can do is sit there and be a total _bitch_!"

Freddie's voice echoed in the small room until all that was left was silence. Freddie's hard breathing making a small hissing noise as it skinned his teeth. Sam looked around the room awkwardly, Freddie never swore unless he was extremely angry, so it took her back a bit. They both sat there, Freddie's words sinking in, "What…what exactly _happened_ last night," Sam asked, her voice barley over a whisper.

"Well…" Freddie began as his breathing finally settled, "Is that all you remembered?"

Sam decided that it was time to sit up, her head settling down a bit. She swung her legs over the edge of the bed, making sure the comforter was brought up with her, shielding her body, "Not much, there's random glimpses and flashes, nothing very specific except what I told you," she told him, looking up at him, "Ditching you, going to the back room, having some drinks….than, blurred outlines of people and a arm around my waist, loud music, and something warm, than yelling,….than nothing."

"I don't know why you even went to Devon…" he mumbled.

"Because he's a nice guy, and he's one of the first guy to treat me with respect." she told him, folding her arms.

"Oh yeah!" he yelled again "He was sure as _hell _treating you with respect when he was on top of you last night!"

"What?" she asked him, she had no idea what he was talking about but she felt scared to ask, but it was too late, because as usual she never thought before she spoke.

"I saw him practically dragging you up into a spare bedroom, you giggling like a lunatic and then when I finally got to you after panicking through the crowd I go into a room to see you with your shirt off and him continuing to strip you down to nothing, I had to _beat him down_ to get him off of you, and then you started crying and I had to get you home, where you puked and clung onto me like you were going to die!" he couldn't keep his voice under control and she felt that if he kept screaming like that so close to the window the neighbours would hear, and so would Carly, "He did something to you, and I don't know what, and you obviously don't know either, so yeah, if you think letting him throw you around like a rag doll and taking advantage of your is treating you with 'respect' than yeah, he's a real gentlemen!"

Sam didn't say anything, she couldn't think of anything to say, her brain seemed to have stopped after his rant and she couldn't seem to process what he said, so the first thing she could think of when she feels trapped is to run, and that's what she did, or at least tried too.

She panicked and stood up, the blanket still clenched tightly to her chest, she moaned loudly as her vision blurred and her body became weak. Her head began to pound and her hand immediately let go of the blanket and went for her head, hoping to stop the pain that had found its way back. She could hear a yell and then two arms around her as the rest of her body hi the ground.

"Holy crap Sam!" she heard him yell as the pounding her ears began to settle down. She moaned in pain as he proceeded to rub up and down her arm with his short nails. Freddie remembered seeing Carly do this before when trying to calm her down.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, letting Sam relax into his arms as he held her, but he knew it wouldn't last long as he could feel her squirm in his arms, and he had to say he was a little disappointed as she used her arms to lift herself up and away from his body, though he would never know that she too was fighting herself the whole time to move away, even though she too didn't want too.

"Be careful Sam," he warned her, putting his arm on her shoulder, helping her keep balance before she shrugged him away.

"Screw off Freddie," Sam said, turning her face away from him.

"Well, I'm so sorry that I'm worried about you!" Freddie growled.

"Well don't, it's not like you really do," she growled back annoyed, she just wanted to get out of there and away from him.

"I am and I do, and I'm _not_ giving you the friendship speech again," he got up and walked over to the other side of the room where he had placed her clothes from the night before and picked them up and made his way back over to her, setting them down in front of her.

"Put them back on, my mom's going to be back soon and neither of us want to be here when she does," he told her, leaving the room.

* * *

><p>There was a slight chill as they exited the Plaza, it had taken Sam about 20 minutes to get dressed and about 45 minutes to get out of Freddie's apartment and down the front stairs. Her body was in so much pain and neither of them new why, so it made it harder for Freddie to figure out how to make her feel better.<p>

At first he was going to hand her over to Carly, thinking that was better than keeping her at his house, or sending her back home to be alone, but she proceeded to tell him not to treat her like a pet turtle and then told him not to tell Carly, and gave him a very descriptive lecture of what she would do to him if he did, and to say the least, he was scared, besides, after the fight with Spencer the night before neither of them new how he would take it, things where still tense, so he decided that it was in everyone's better interest to let things cool down for a while.

"So how are you going to take me home?" Sam asked form behind him, she was walking with a slight limp and slower than usual, the pain in her body was still making her weak, "Isn't your mother going to be home soon, wont she notice the car's missing and have a fit?"

"Don't worry," was all he said. She hadn't noticed before but they weren't headed in the same direction as they did last night, they were headed to the back of Bushwell, which confused her more.

As they came to the corner of the building, leading towards the back. Freddie waited for her there, making sure she was okay. Once she managed to catch up to her they turned the corner, only to come to a small opening. There was a large machine in the back, which she would only assume was the heater to the building, it was making loud obnoxious noises and she was surprised you couldn't hear it from inside it was so loud. Trash littered the ground and a huge fence outlined the machines and the trash shoot, making the back small awful.

What she had noticed in between all the machines and junk was a small navy blue car. It looked as though it had seen it's far share of owners and the paint was wearing off, but looked stable enough. Sam was about to ask what they were doing back here when Freddie pulled out a key.

"That piece of shit is _yours_?" Sam asked, gawking at the beat up vehicle.

"Yes Sam," he signed, even when he was being nice and giving her a lift home she still insulted him.

"When did you get a car?" she said, walking up beside him at the back of it.

"I got it a few months ago, my father sends me money every month, though my mother doesn't know about it, and she also doesn't know about this car, so keep it down," he told her. She ignored the comment about his father, putting the information in the back of her mind for a later date, he never talked about him so she decided that right now wasn't the time, and she didn't feel like she would care to much at the moment.

"So Mama Bear doesn't know about this?" she asked, running her finger along the back, picking up all the dust that clung there, "So what would happen if I let it slip one day?" she chuckled.

"Then I'll just let you walk home." he stated, smiling from across the car.

"You wouldn't do that, you're the one who begged to drive me home," she smiled smugly.

Freddie mumbled something under his breath that sounded very much like a disappointed swear word and got into the car, leaning over and unlocking it for Sam and watched her painfully get it, and it hurt him, knowing that he couldn't do anything about it.

The drive wasn't short but it wasn't long. It was full of awkward silence, neither of them had been in this kind of situation with each other, where they were forced to stay in a small confined space, and it unnerved her, but she didn't know how he felt about it.

Sam felt as if she would jump out of the car any second, the silence was burning through her skull and into her brain, squeezing it until it would burst. She always got this odd feeling when around him, it was always this, she would feel uncomfortable but safe, and it would confuse the hell out of her so she would always push it away, because that's what she always did, what she only knew.

She turned on the radio, the quite starting to slowly kill her, and breathed in and relaxed her sore muscles into the seat. Her nose was met with the familiar sent of cinnamon, and she couldn't help from releasing the small sigh of contentment that left her mouth, breathing in more, smiling unconsciously.

She didn't notice Freddie beside her, looking down at her. The ride after that was relaxing, soft music played in the background as Sam drifted in and out of consciousness, the intoxicating smell, mixed with the gentle music, plus the low singing of Freddie's calming voice beside her lulled her to sleep.

Just as she was about to drift off the car came to an abrupt stop, jerking her uncomfortable forward. Sam's head quickly snapped over to him and he gave her an apologetic look and turned the car off. Sam didn't move from her seat, to comfortable and her body too sore, but she knew she was going to have to move sometime.

Sam looked over when she heard the soft click of the seat belt next to her, the jingle of keys being pushed into his pocket and the opening of the door, which confused her, "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to walk you to the door," he told her, sitting back down in his seat and looked at her.

"What the hell for?" she laughed, "I am more than capable to walk to my front door myself."

Rolling his eyes, Freddie slammed the door shut, settling back down into the soft black seat, "I'm just trying to be what most people would call a gentlemen."

"Well," Sam began, mimicking his actions and undoing her seatbelt and opening the door, "Maybe you should stop spending so much time with your mother…" she trailed off, her voice becoming lower as she stared into her house.

Freddie followed her line of vision and raised his eyebrows at the strange man standing in the window. He was quite tall, standing at about 6 feet from what he could see, and was holding a cigarette, staring straight at her. Sam was frozen, he couldn't pin point the expression on her face, but he defiantly new that the particular expression she wore now rarely ever crossed her features.

"Sam?" he asked cautiously, not knowing what to expect.

She didn't say anything, just jumped out of the car, slammed the door and walked up to her front door, all the while never taking her eyes off the man in the window. He watched as she stood in front of the door, the strange man in the window's eyes boring into him as he watched her, Freddie couldn't help but feel uncomfortable, not just about the sketchy man in her house, but also leaving her here alone with him.

Sam turned around as she opened the door a crack, looking right at him, making a motion the get out of there and that she didn't want him there, telling him that she was alright. But past the rude hand gesture, and the annoy expression he finally pin pointed exactly what the expression in her eyes was…Fear.

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><p><strong>Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly or any of the characters.<strong>

**So it took me FOREVER to update, and I hope no one had forgotten about it. I had to take some time to figure out where I was going to go from the last chapter and I have planned out the next 2 for now. And sorry it's so short :(**

**Also as I've said before, there is no rape (well any that I will involve a lemon) , and things might be a little fuzzy for a while, the ONLY person who knows what happened at the party is Devon, neither Freddie nor Sam have a clear picture, so we have to wait a little while to see what happened at the party.**

**Thanks to everyone who keeps reviewing, I love you all! :) Thanks too; HannahTwilightPrincess, Reeba123, jhuikmn08, TheRockAngel, adore-this, TonyTone, XxThe Penny TreasurexX, pos, mileycfan4eva, LizzieGirly223, BellamySeddie and purpledragon6.**

_**Next Chapter: Dave asks Sam about Freddie, and Sam confronts Devon about what happened the night of the party and what Freddie said, but will she cut everything off with Devon or will he convince her Freddie is lying?**_

**Enjoy!**

**-Stolie Silver **


	12. Chapter 11: Don't Know What to Tell Ya

**Chapter Eleven – Don't Know What to Tell Ya**

_Incarceration what I'm facing,  
>When I'm with you,<br>You are watching my every move  
>Trying to pick up on some clues.<br>-Aaliyah_

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><p>He stood outside of her house; he was confident but slightly nervous. He had spent all Saturday and most of Sunday trying to formulate a plan in his head that would work, each step had to be carefully planned and had to executed accordingly, one wrong move and it could blow up in his face and <em>he<em> would be the one who would be broken down, instead of her. He didn't know why he was working so hard, most girls were easier to get to, girls like Sam were easy to break, but most girls like Sam, didn't have the people around them like she did, and that made her a bit more of a challenge, but all the sweeter the prize right?

He lifted his hand to the door and knocked, his brain working overtime making sure that all the steps of his plan stayed in place and waited. He didn't hear anything, no footsteps and frowned his brows, if she didn't answer the door he would have to reformulate his entire plan, and he was not happy about that. Knocking again he heard a small moan, which meant that someone must be home, he was just hoping that it was her, and he assumed that it was, as no cars were currently parked in the drive way.

His body tensed as the door flung open, and all the pressure in his body left him and his muscles relaxed, the sight in front of him was perfect, and his plan could possibly move faster than expected if he played his cards right. The small girl in front of him was dishevelled, her blonde hair was frizzy and he could see the tangles in bunches as the top and sides of her head, her eyes looked tired and glazed over. What he noticed that made him smile about her appearance was that she was _still_ in the same clothes from Friday night, which meant that she was too tired and shaken up to even change out of her own clothes, he had guessed that the boy that had dragged her out had taken her home instead of with him, he was glad.

"Hey." He smiled, he had to put on a happy and appealing front, or else she would put her guard up and it would be harder to break through.

She didn't say anything, just stared at him with a surprised look one her face, her small hands pressed up against her chest, giving her a small and vulnerable look, "Do you mind if I come in?" he smiled warmly, making sure his voice was soft and gentle.

She nodded, opening the door wide enough for him to slip in and closed it when he managed to get inside and the moment he did his nose scrunched up, and his lungs tightened and let out a loud cough. The stench from the house was making him physically sick and he couldn't imagian how she didn't vomit, he looked around and couldn't pin point where the smell was coming from, and it seemed to just surround him, but he kept his composure, he needed to for this to work.

"Why are you here Devon?" she finally said. He turned around to see her staring at him, her expression was hard and questioning, but her eyes were nervous. He looked over her once more, taking her appearance in and noticed how she held both her arms up in front of her, almost as protection, and that was he would have thought it her left hand wasn't grasping her right wrist, a small edge of a large bruise peeking out from under it. He knew he didn't give that to her, he hadn't touched her wrists so she must have gotten into a fight after the last time he had seen her, the rip along the side of her shirt told him he was right.

"I wanted to talk to you about Saturday, and make sure you're okay," he said, walking slowly towards her, and was shocked at she didn't back up, most girls in this situation, who looked this shaken up would back off and tell him to leave, but then again, this girl was stronger than anyone he had met, so he had to work a little harder, "I was worried Sam."

"I fine," Sam said, letting her hands fall away from her chest, her hand still holding her wrist, "You have no reason to be here." she hold him firmly, her voice stern and cold, this had thrown him back.

"Why are you so defensive, I just wanted to check up on you," He didn't show any signs of shock, or anger, he just scrunched his face into a sad puppy dog look and frowned.

Sam didn't say a thing, not knowing what to say exactly, he seemed worried, but she didn't really know him that well. She herself liked to think she was good at reading people, but his eyes where glossed over and she just couldn't see past it.

"So are you okay?" Devon asked, gently brushing some strands of blonde hair out of her eyes.

"I told you I'm _fine_." she clenched her teeth together.

"Whoa," he backed away, both hands up in front of him, "I was just concerned."

"Like hell you are," she growled, Devon started to become nervous, "I know what happened that night."

Devon began to panic, his perfectly put together plan was falling apart, she _wasn't_ supposed to remember anything from the night of the party. He was counting on that and now he had to drop everything and quickly compose another one before she noticed his hesitance, so he did the only thing he could to by himself some time, Lie.

"What are you talking about?"

"You know _exactly_ what I'm talking about!" she was starting to get angry and that wasn't good for him.

"Sam, nothing happened that night that should have you so upset," his voice light, making her relax.

"What do you mean?" Sam yelled, she let go of her wrist, revealing the large bruise she was hiding under small hand, "You…You…tried to…um…" she stuttered, Devon didn't know what to make of this, what she was going to say next could either turn in his favour or screw him over.

"What Sam?"

"You tried to um…" she was nervous, but trying to hide it, which he made a note of she did quite well. He had an idea of what she was thinking, but was confused on how she managed to think up the idea.

"Rape you?" he blurted out, trying to sound angry, "Is that what you were going to say, I was trying to _rape_ you?" He knew this was coming, that Benson boy had been a witness and he was the one who had dragged her out from under him, he was ready for this, but it came sooner than planned, which meant good for him, but bad for her, this was moving along nicely.

The look on her face told him that's what she was thinking, but it wasn't what he expected, when a girl finds out you tried to attack her while drunk they usually don't have that look on their face, like they were sorry, "Why would you think I did that, do you 'remember' this?"

She fidgeted with the end of her shirt, "No…not exactly."

"Then how the hell did you come to that conclusion?" he asked her in a low tone, he couldn't sound to angry, it would scare her off.

He watched as the blonde girl in front of him paused, her hands clenched the bottom on her shirt, which managed to rip it up the side even more, if it ripped about more inches it would fall right off her body, as she was still wearing the tube top, "Freddie…" she trailed off, look up at him.

A smile spread across his face, perfect, he knew that was going to be her answer, she couldn't come to that point herself, that Benson was getting in his way and if he could convince her, he wouldn't be bothering him for a while, not until he was done with her anyway.

Devon started to laugh, shaking his head and stepping close to her, "You're going to listen to him?"

"Why wouldn't I, we've been…friends for years." Sam said, piercing her lips together, trying to sound convincing.

"Oh Sam," he let his hands run through her tangled hair, "we both know you're lying."

"I'm not." she glared at him.

"I would believe you, if you yourself believed that you are saying," he let his thumb caress the side of her cheek.

Sam let her eyes drop, "He's never lied to me before, so why would he now?"

He didn't answer her, because he didn't have an answer, but he watched as she closed her eyes, leaning into his touch. She looked extremely hurt, he knew that someone had attacked her at some point in the past day and a half they had been separated, and he would use that to his advantage.

"Darlin', who hurt you?" he asked, sliding his hand down her shoulder and picked up her right hand, careful not to touch her swollen wrist.

Sam sucked in a breath; she didn't want to answer that. Devon could see it in her eyes that she was uncomfortable and scared but that just made him even happier. He raised her arm to his mouth and dressed her wrist with small gentle kisses, and she felt her heart flutter and her breath hitch in her throat.

"Don't be scared Darlin'" he told her, leading her lover to her couch and sitting her down, "I'm not going to hurt you, I like you." he continued, playing with her fingers and planting a kiss on each one and then her wrist again.

"You…do?" Sam looked at him, her eyes questioning.

"I do Darlin'" Devon said sitting beside her, and kissed her on her forehead, "I don't know why your Freddie would say that about me, but I think it may be because he doesn't trust me, but I promise, I would never do anything to hurt you," he told her again, kissing down to her cheek.

"He doesn't trust you…" she trailed off, losing her voice, the small light kisses making her mind wander, "b..but."

"But what?" Devon asked her again, bringing her close to him and rubbing her back as he continued to leave soft kisses around her face.

"I don't remember." she breathed, all thoughts seemed to have left her as she concentrated on the sensations he was bringing out of her.

"I promise I won't hurt you, and I know that you probably don't believe me right now," he whispered in her ear, making her shiver, "But I really like you."

Sam felt as if she couldn't breathe and everything in her body was telling her to push him off and run, her mind was shutting down as he laid her on the couch crawling on top of her and continuing to kiss her all along her jaw line, and trailing his lips to the corner of her mouth, kissing it, waiting for her to make any sign of displeasure. Devon held her sides, letting his fingers graze over the exposed skin on the side of her shirt, watching the thin fabric rip under his hands, and when she let out that quite moan he took this as a sigh and kissed her, his hands never leaving her side.

He felt her gasp as he planted his lips on hers, taking his opposite hand and moving it the bottom of her shirt and lifted it up, loving the feel of her warm skin against his fingers and gripped onto her, massaging her sides. Devon started to move his hands upwards but was stopped by her hands, and taking in his surprise she took her mouth off his.

"Don't." she whispered, still taking in what happened.

"It's alright Darlin', I'll stop," he said, leaving another kiss on her lips, "but I want to ask you something."

"What…"

"Let me take you out on a date, let me show you how much I like you."

"You want to take me out on a date?"

"You bet Darlin'" he kissed her again, "So what do you say?"

Sam was shell shocked to say the least, no one had ever really wanted to take her out on a date, the last date she ever went on was with Pete and they didn't really get to the date part, he didn't take her for dinner on a boat, well he took her to a boat, but not for dinner, and she ended up punching him and running back home in a rage.

"Like...an actual date?"

"Yes Darlin', what else are you expecting?"

"Nothing!" she quickly interrupted, nervous that she would put the idea into his head that she wanted to have sex.

"I'm not going to force you into anything," he kissed her again and she sighed, she was enjoying the small kisses, and even though everything was telling her to stop she just couldn't.

"Okay, yes," she smiled under him.

"Alright, Friday night."

"I can't, I have iCarly that night."

"Can't you skip it?"

"I don't think I can," Devon silenced her with another kiss, brushing the hair out of her eyes and kissing her forehead, "I'll talk to Carly."

"Thanks Darlin', that means so much to me," and he leaned down and attached her lips to hers once again, and rubbed little circles around her waist. Even though he wanted to go further he knew that if he did she would freak out and his plan would go to hell.

"I have to go," Devon told her, getting up and pulling her up along with him, "I'll see you tomorrow," and wrapped her into a tight hug and left a chaste kiss on her forehead and stood up and walked towards the door.

"Bye."

Once he closed the door Sam lifted her hand to her heart, it was beating fast and hard, but what she felt was unexpected. When she liked a guy, like truly like someone she expected butterfly's in her stomach, her head to feel light, almost like she was high, but all Devon seemed to have left is a tingle on her lips and an empty and tight feeling in her stomach, but maybe that was what you truly felt and what she was expecting wasn't real.

"Who was that?" a ruff voice jerked her out of her thoughts, there stood Dave, leaning against the wall where the small living room and hall connected.

"No one." she said quickly, but she knew it was no use lying to him; it would just make him angrier.

Dave began to laugh, pushing himself off the wall and walked towards her, "You obviously didn't get the message I was trying to send last night," he growled, grabbing her right wrist once again and squeezed, "Maybe I'll just have to refresh your memory."

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><p><strong>Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly or any of the characters.<strong>

**AHHH! its so short!**

**Sorry for the long wait for the update :S I've been having computer problems and I have to take it in tomorrow to get it fixed. Also I have been having horrible writers block for this story, I wanted to make this chapter perfect since it is kind of an important chapter, since Devon has convinced Sam that he hadn't done what Freddie had implied. **

**I can't help but feel like this story is kind of a fail, I am HORRIBLE at dialogue and as you can tell from my authors notes I'm not really impressed with how these recent chapters have turned out...but I'm not really concerned about my opinion, I'm concerned about YOURS since you are the reader, be as HARSH as you want and I won't take it personally or attack you, I INCOURAGE you to tell me anything that's on your mind about what I am writing. Should I give up and start fresh or continue? or should I concentrate on my other story?**

_**Next Chapter: The week leading up to the date, and Freddie and Carly finding out what is going on between their friend and a boy neither of them approve of, and what will happen between Sam and Spencer? And what's Devon's plan?**_


	13. Chapter 12: Get Out Alive

**Chapter Twelve: Get Out Alive**

_Don't put your life in someone's hands,  
>Their bound to steal it away,<br>Don't hide your mistakes,  
>Cause they'll find you,<br>Burn you,  
>Then he said,<br>If you wanna get out alive,  
>Run for your life.<br>-Three Days Grace_

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><p>Sam played with the sleeves of her thin white sweater as she walked up to the school, quite thankful for the cool morning breeze in the air as she felt herself beginning to heating up, even though it was still quite cool outside. That morning she had gotten up with the sun, which in itself was unusual, most of the time she would find herself rushing to get out of the house, late for school. Why it was such an unusual surprise was because she had passed out the night before, drinking the rest of her mother's stash of Marker's Mark, and was about to start on her own left over stash when she eventually passed out, it would usually keep her knocked out until 10 o'clock, but when she found herself awakening at 7 that morning she thought she should take the advantage and get out before Dave woke up.<p>

As Sam turned the corner to her locker she saw Carly and Freddie there, Carly sitting down on the floor just under her locker, playing with one of the pink tastes on her back pack, Freddie himself was leaning against her blue locker, looking down at Carly as they talked. Sam inwardly groaned and rubbed her hand over her hooded head, trying to sooth the head ache that was coming full force.

As Sam walked up to her two friends their conversation stopped, causing Sam to become uncomfortable as the two looked at her, casting her eyes to the floor as she walked up to Freddie. She could see out of the corner of her eye Carly getting up from the spot on the floor, brushing a few locks of hair behind her ear, watching her two friends look at each other in silence.

Once Sam had stopped in front of Freddie she cast her eyes to meet this, a small flicker of concern bounced in them, Sam began to tug at the bottom of her sleeves nervously, scared that if she didn't they would see the bruises that littered her arms. Usually Sam wouldn't care, just saying she got them from a fight and both of her brunette friends would push it aside, but she couldn't help it, she felt so ashamed of them that she didn't want anyone to see them…not even herself. Carly stood behind them awkwardly, ready to break up any on coming fight, but was surprised when neither Sam nor Freddie made any movement, instead Sam scrunched her eyebrows together.

"Do you mind, you're in my way," Sam told him, pointing to the locker he was leaning on.

Freddie said nothing, stilling looking at her as he moved away taking in her appearance. Her ruffled hair, clothes that limited the amount of skin showing, and odd sense hostility, even towards Carly, was considered normal behaviour now, when only a few months ago they would be able to sense something wrong. Freddie could still see this slight change in personality, but Carly just seemed to accept it.

Sam messed around aimlessly in her locker, moving object around and pretended to be occupied with finding her utensils, trying to wait out until someone, most likely Carly, broke the awkward silence. Continuing to mess around in her locker and pushed some of her useless junk, knowing that she had to be careful about what she moved, as she knew what was still hiding in the back of her locker, and wondered why she hadn't yet gotten rid of it.

Sam jerked her head to the side when someone pulled down her hood, revealing her very puffy head of hair. She relaxed when she saw it was Carly, and turned to face her.

"Here." Carly said, handing her the brush she always kept in her purse.

"Its fine Carly," she replied, closing her locker and shoving her books and a few pens into her nap sack.

Carly wasn't one to take No for an answer, mostly when it came to things she wanted, she wasn't pushy but she knew when things needed to be done, and she didn't play around when it came to her friend's well-being.

"Nope." Carly grabbed a piece of Sam's hair and began to brush it lightly, undoing tangled.

"Carly," Sam whined as she let her best friend comb her hair, "You're not my mother."

Carly stopped for a moment before continuing, brushing her blonde friends bangs out of the way with her fingers before throwing the brush back into her purse beside her, "Yeah well…someone needs to be." She mumbled.

Sam just looked up at her as Carly made some little adjustments to her hair, surprised by her comment, and looked as Carly smiled down at her, "Now have you eaten this morning?" Sam cracked a small smile for a moment, going almost unnoticeably by the two before shaking her head, slightly loving the motherly attention she was receiving.

It was almost like Carly new this and pulled out a small bag of jerky and a juice package, handing them to her friend, "Here you go."

"Now do you have all your books?" Carly asked her, leaning down to pick up her purse.

"CARLY!" Sam yelled, a little annoyed by this, even though she knew her friend meant well.

"Sam…" Carly said sternly.

"Yes Carly, I have all my books." Throwing her back pack over her shoulder.

"Alright, we should probably get to class," Carly told her two friends.

"Carly, we have 15 minutes left before class starts," Sam told her, pulling at her sleeve.

"She's right Carly," Freddie piped up finally, "Besides, I want to drop off my jacket before class starts, and it's kinda hot in here."

"Yeah, I know what you mean," Carly said as her and Sam began to follow Freddie to his locker, "I don't know why they feel the need to turn the school into a sauna, I mean, it's not even that cold outside."

They continued to talk about random things, Carly going on about how she deserved a better mark on a test and how her teacher was so unfair. Freddie listened as he opened his locker and threw his sweater in, all the while stealing glances at Sam, who was leaning against the locker beside him, staring out into space, rubbing up and down her arm.

Sam finally came too when she heard Carly ask about the party, "It was alright." Freddie told her, not even looking to his left over at the small blonde girl.

"What about you Sam, how was the party?" Carly asked her, looking past Freddie. At this point Sam straightened up against the locker and looked at her friend.

"It was cool…not that exciting." Sam told her, her voice came out slow and monotonous.

"Yeah we didn't stay long…" Freddie chipped in.

Freddie looked over to Sam, meeting her blue eyes. He could tell she was trying to avoid eye contact, but he had caught her eyes, sending her a silent message, it was better to leave Carly out of this, no sense in worrying her about nothing…right?

Carly looked at her friends, a confused expression dressing her face, something was going on, and both her friends were sure as hell not going to tell her. Remembering the events of "The Kiss" as she had so properly dubbed it, they vowed not to keep secrets from each other, on many occasions she had thought about bringing it up when she thought either of them was keeping something from her, but she knew that the promise was a shallow one, though they told each other the most simplistic of secrets, none of them had kept the promise, there were still things she didn't know, she herself had kept plenty from them.

"So…" Carly finally said, breaking the eye contact between her two friends, as they both seemed to have zoned out, "What did you guys do afterwards?"

"Afterwards?" Sam asked, not knowing what she was talking about.

"Yeah….afterwards…you said you didn't stay long?" Carly questioned her, looking at her friend like she was crazy.

"We went home." Freddie told her, looking over to Sam, eyeing her, almost as if he was telling her to agree with him.

"Really?" Carly asked, trying to keep her voice steady, not wanting her friends to know she was catching on to their little eye games. Both the blonde and the tall brunette nodded, almost mechanically.

"Okay…well why didn't you come back-" Carly began stopping herself, "I mean, did you make it home safe?" looking over at Sam, quickly going from suspicious to mother mode, she always became worried about Sam walking around alone in her neighbourhood.

"I walked her home." Freddie pitched in, noticing Sam became uncomfortable, Carly almost bringing up the events of what went down between Sam and Spencer that night.

"You did?"

"Yeah," He looked back over at Sam, telling her to say something, not knowing that they had already unknowingly blown their cover.

"Yeah…yeah he did."

"Awww," Carly giggled, walking up to Freddie and rubbed his arm affectionately, Freddie couldn't help but smile, "That's so nice of you."

"Well…yeah." Freddie bragged about his fake chivalry, causing Sam to roll her eyes, beginning to walk off in the direction of her first period.

"Sam, wait up!" she heard Carly call after her, grabbing Freddie by the arm and dragging him down the hall.

"By the way Sam," she said, finally coming to a slower pace as she walked next to her, "Don't you want to take off your sweater too?" Sam looked over to wear Carly was pointing at her locker.

"No…I'm fine."

"Are you sure Sam?"

"Yes Carly, I'm sure."

"But Sam, you don't want to overheat or anything."

"Carly!" Sam yelled over her friend, receiving a startled look from one and a questioning look from the other, "I'm fine…"

"Well…if you're sure…" Carly said slowly, still startled by the outburst.

"Um…I have to go to the bathroom before class, I'll see you later." Sam told her friends, adjusting the books in her hands and turned around, locking eyes with a worried Freddie.

"Is she okay?" Carly asked as she watched her friend slowly make her way down the hall.

"I'm sure she's fine, it's Monday after all, she will probably be fine by tomorrow." Freddie tried to reassure his friend.

"Yeah, you're probably right, she's probably hungry too, so…"

"Come on, let's go to class."

Freddie reached his hand over the skinny girl's shoulders, turning her around, facing her away from her retreating friend. As they walked down the hallway he looked back once more, meeting eyes with the blonde that had just reached the end of the hallway, giving her a look before turning around and disappearing around the corner.

Sam felt her muscles tense up slightly, she grasped her books a little tighter and took a breath in before continuing to walk towards the ladies room. She knew that look, she was afraid of that look, and she would do everything to avoid having to face that look, because that one single look said everything.

'We need to talk.'

* * *

><p>Sam tapped the hard cover of her text book as she walked down the hall, her long nails making a soft clapping sound against it. She knew Freddie wanted to talk, she didn't need anyone to decode or for him to tell her what that look meant, and it made her nervous, what didn't he want to tell her that they already hadn't silently agreed on, she thought they come to an understanding that they were not going to speak of that night after she woke up in his bed.<p>

The fact that she woke up in his bed to being with was enough to make her feel uncomfortable. His had happened before, where she woke up in another place entirely and felt panicked, which is what she felt like when she found herself in an unfamiliar room, but to her surprise, once she had figured out it was Freddie's, due to the 2 computers and random pictures of iCarly and them together, she felt a sense of security wash over her, an unfamiliar feeling as of late.

Sam was about to turn the corner, figuring she would go to the bathroom before class anyway, she stopped, hearing a light slam of a door and some hushed giggling. This was almost déjà vu, the scene that played out before her she had witnessed only a few days prior.

There stood leaning against the abandoned janitors closet was Mrs. Costa and Mr. Scotts, heavily making out. The shock of it all was still there like the first time she witnessed this, she couldn't believe what she was seeing, her MARRIED science teacher was making out, and most likely having sex with, the new English teacher.

She watched for a few minutes, not being able to take her eyes off the scene, was she supposed to say something about this, or was she to ignore it and pretend she never saw anything, this women was cheating on her husband.

Sam could help but feel her heart break a little, even though she was never fond of said teacher, it hurt her to know that love seemed to be a thing of the past, did anyone find marriage sacred anymore, everywhere she looked it seemed someone was cheating or they were already divorced.

She quickly ducked behind the rack of lockers as the two adults finished their make out session, listening to the hushed sounds of 'goodbyes' and 'see you later's' before the clacking of her heels vanished. Sam pushed off the lockers and looked down the hall, watching Mr. Scotts button up his shirt and fix his tie before going to opposite way.

Sam couldn't figure out why exactly why they were going at it, well she could see why Mr. Scotts wanted it, he was single, but couldn't he find some single girl to bang, not a married one. Mrs. Costa had a husband, was the sex really that bad, if so why did she marry him. She knew what marriage was about, she knew was love was about. Sex. It was all about sex. Marriage was pretty much a signed document that you would only have sex with that one person, and look at what they had gotten other people, broken hearts, why bother getting married.

Sam perked up once she felt a pair of large hands snake around her waist, pulling her against them, "Hello Darlin'"

Sam's panic settled once she realized who it was, "Shit Devon, you scared me."

"Oh I didn't mean it Darlin'" he laughed, pushing his face down into the crook of her neck.

"Devon," Sam pushed him away slightly.

"What's the matter?" Devin asked her, confused.

In truth Sam loved what he did to her, the things he said made her heart flutter and make her feel like she was one of the most beautiful girls in the world, but when he touched her it didn't feel right, it felt so uncomfortable, and strange, like it wasn't supposed to be her in his arms.

"Nothing, I'm just not in the mood." She told him.

"Oh come on Darlin', you know you love it," he laughed, pulling her up against him again, pressing his lips to her while backing her up into the metal lockers, making her drop the books in her hands. He could feel her body tighten up under him, and he began to caress her face as he moved his lips against her's, slightly angry that she had yet to have a reaction to it.

He pressed his lips harder onto hers until she began to react. Devon smiled into the kiss, moving down her waist until he came to hem of her shirt, slightly pulling it up until he could feel her exposed skin, and began to rub circles on her hip bones.

"Devon," Sam whined into his lips, moving her hands to push against his chest.

"What Darlin', don't you like it?" He asked, beginning to kiss her neck.

"Yeah…" she trailed off unconvincingly, "But I have to get to class, I can't be late again." She explained, pushing him off her, picking up her books and quickly walking down the hall.

"Oh but Darlin'" Devon began, catching up to her and grabbing her by the arm, turning her around, "Class has already began." He told her, glancing around the halls.

The bell had in fact already rung, she must have not noticed it when she was observing, not spying, on her science teacher and her new love interest, the hall was empty and no signs of anyone besides them down either of the halls.

"Well shit, I guess I better be going." She walked off again, but was again caught by Devon, which angered her a little bit and she growled at him, eye brows knitted together.

"Whoa, clam down there Darlin'" he said, kissing her on the cheek, "I was just gonna ask if I could walk you to class," he said, smiling brightly at her.

"Oh…" she responded embarrassed, no guy ever offered to walk her to class, she had witnessed it with other girls, even her best friend, and every time a little spark of jealousy went through her, and at this moment she wished Carly could see this.

"Oh, alright." Sam agreed uncharacteristically, "Let's go."

"Here, let me get those for you," Devon told her, grabbing her books out of her hand. Now Sam new she didn't need anyone to carry her books, nor walk to her class, but there was something in her head that was enjoying this so much.

Sam smiled slightly as Devon put his arm around her, directing her to her first period class. Sam new she was late and she knew that she was going to be hearing about this later form Principal Franklin, but she didn't care, she was in a moment of bliss.

Devon walked her to her class, handing her the books he had been carrying and gave her a light peck on her lips, and whispering goodbye. Sam didn't know what was going on, and she didn't care, because for a moment, she was happy.

* * *

><p>"Dear lord Sam!" Carly yelled down the hall to her friend as she came down the hall, "Where were you during lunch, I've hardly seen you all day!"<p>

"Well, we don't have any classes together…and I went out for lunch, sorry." Sam told her spazzy friend as she opened her locker.

"Oh, okay, but we are still hanging tonight right?" Carly asked worried.

"Yes Carly." She chuckled.

"You went alone?" Freddie asked form his place behind Carly.

"Yeah, who did you go with?" Carly questioned her.

Sam looked over at the two, giving a slight glare to Freddie before looking at Carly. She knew he was suspicious of Devon and her after how she defended him Saturday, though he didn't have any proof, and now he was questioning her about where she goes when she's not with them, asshole.

"As Freddie said, I went alone." She told them sternly; eye Freddie as she said the last of her sentence.

"Why would go alone, why didn't you invite us?" Carly whined, hurt by her friends actions.

Sam felt slightly guilty, for both not inviting her best friend and for lying to her. She was in fact with Devon, he had invited her out for lunch before second period and she had said yes, she couldn't say no to food, and there was just something in her head that was enjoying the attention she was getting from him, she hardly ever got that kind of attention directed at her from males.

"I went home anyway Carly, I was tired and didn't feel like cafeteria food, so I decided to take a nap and get something from home," she continued to lie, hating herself for every word that came out of her mouth, she was a good liar, but that didn't mean she liked to do it, "But don't worry, it's just you and me tonight."

"Well…okay." Carly agreed, smiling, Freddie just rolled his eyes, not believing anything she was saying, and he had a right too, she was such a liar.

"Finish grabbing your stuff and we'll head over to the Groovy Smoothie."

Sam nodded and continued to shove random items into her bag, she could see the still half full bottle of Ever Clear and new it had ot be taken out, but now wasn't the time, she would have to come back for it when no one was around and stash it at her house somewhere.

"Oh Freddie, do you want to come too?" the preppy brunette asked him.

"Carly, I thought it was just the two of us?" Sam whined, "I don't want to spend any more time with the dork than I have too!"

In truth Sam had gotten used to Freddie, most of the time enjoying his company, but ever since he found out about…the secret, she had felt a little uncharacteristically twitchy and nervous around him, like if she said the wrong thing or did something he didn't like he would blurt it out for the world to hear.

"Sam!" Carly scolded her.

"It's fine Carly." Freddie settled her down, "I should go home anyway, my mom's been acting strange and I want to make sure she's okay."

"What?" Sam laughed, "You mean she can act _more_ psycho than she already is?"

"Yes Sam, because _your_ family's so normal." He shot back, surprising both Sam and Carly a little, "And no, she's been on the phone late at night, having hushed conversations, and acting really jumpy whenever the phone rings…I don't know what to say or do."

"Wow," Carly said biting her lip, "I don't know what to say, I hope she's alright."

"Probably just worried the insane asylum is calling to take her away, I mean, they let her loose for too long." Sam laughed again, she didn't know why she was doing this or why she was pissing off Freddie like this, she was just so nervous, and when she became nervous, she started to bite.

"Sam, stop it." Carly growled at her, pointing a finger at her friend, meaning she was serious. Freddie smiled at the interactions; he always thought it was kinda cute how Carly always acted like the mother hen.

"I just ignore her Carly," He reassured her, "I'll see you two tomorrow." Freddie told them as he walked away, giving Sam that same look he had given her in the hall.

"I'm sleeping over at Carly's!" Sam blurted out.

"What?" Carly asked, shocked at her friends random outburst, "you are?"

"You are?" Freddie questioned, being ignored by Carly.

Freddie just glared at Sam, "Yeah, can I?"

Carly beamed at Sam's admission of wanting to sleep over, she missed her, "Of course!" she squealed, jumping up and down, "Sleep over!"

"Yeah!" Sam yelled, trying to sound ecstatic.

"But Carly" Freddie smiled, causing Sam's heart to speed up, she didn't know if it was out of nervousness or him beautiful smile…no definably the nerves.

"Spencer."

_Shit, shit, shit _Sam kept swearing in her head, she thought she had found a way out of talking, she forgot about Spencer.

Carly's face melted into a frown, "Oh…yeah…"

"Too bad Sam."

Sam's face was bringing to turn red in anger, mostly because Freddie was enjoying her discomfort, "I'll just talk to him tonight, I mean, he has to let her back over, we have to do iCarly." Carly just brushed it off, thinking that Spencer would cave, but Sam knew he wouldn't, she didn't see his face.

"Of course Carly," Sam agreed, not sure what they were going to do about iCarly since she knew Spencer wouldn't light up, she had never seen him so made.

"For now let's forget about that, let's go to the Groovy Smoothie, and then the mall, I need some new lip gloss." Carly grabbed her friends hand, leading her out the door, Freddie in toe.

"But Carly, you just bought some last week!" Sam groaned.

"You can never have too much lip gloss Sam," Carly told her short friend seriously.

"Have fun you two," Freddie smiled smugly. He knew Carly had to be home at a certain time on weekdays, in which she usually brought Sam, but since she was currently banned form stepping foot inside the apartment, he had an opening to call her.

Sam new better, and he had to of known better too, Sam was an expert at avoiding things, she new she could avoid him by not answering her phone, and he could do nothing about it, or else his mother would freak out, and at the moment, he was trying to make sure that didn't happen.

She could avoid this for one more night.

* * *

><p><strong>Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly or any of the characters.<strong>

**SORRY IT'S SO SHORT! :(**

**I'm sorry I have taken so long, life has gotten in the way, September is a hard month for me. Also ever since I have found this amazing FanFic called "The Ballad of Sam and Freddie" by eleaborr1gby I have been obsessed with reading it, and have put off my own writing to read it, so if you haven't read it, do it! It's AMAZING!**

**I would also like to direct your attention to one review in particular, from TonyTone, their review was SPOT ON, and I'm very happy to see not everyone was confused about what had happed in the chapter about the party. If your confused please go read it. :)**

**Also, many of you seem to hate Devon, well you should and by the end of the story you're going to want to gut him and leave him in a ditch!**

**And poor Sam, someone needs to make her rethink her slightly, if I may, stupid view on love, which we shall explore more into!**

**My favourite thing about the characters in my story to me is Motherly Carly(so cute) Big Brother Spencer, and well…SEDDIE! That is their roles in this story, I REALLY hate when people make Carly out to be mean in seddie fics, I love her!**

**I'm also kinda curious if anyone can guess WHY I named this story Black Out? :)**

_**Next: The continuation of the week leading up to the date. Will we find out what is going on with Freddie's mother, and what will happen to this week's iCarly since Sam had been banded from the apartment. And really, how much more can Devon screw with Sam's mind?**_

**-Stolie Silver.**


	14. Chapter 13: Lying Eyes

**Chapter Thirteen: Lying Eyes**

_You can't hide your lyin' eyes  
>And your smile is a thin disguise<br>I thought by now you'd realize  
>There ain't no way to hide your lyin eyes<br>-Eagels_

* * *

><p>Sam breathed heavily as she leaned against the door to the Groovy Smoothie, waiting for her brunette to catch up to her. She looked up as she saw said brunette running down the cement walkway, laughing as she slammed against the brick wall, narrowly beating the rain.<p>

The two friends had been making their way to the Groovy Smoothie at a steady pace, talking about nothing in particular and laughing at everything, it was like nothing had changed and for a little while Sam felt like she was back in a time when she was happy, but she could hardly remember that time anymore. As they made their way down the street Carly had pointed out that it looked like rain, and in Seattle, if it looks like rain, it is rain, so the friends decided it was better to make a dash than to risk getting wet.

"I win!" Sam panted out, rising her arms above her head in a victory position.

"We weren't racing," Carly laughed, trying to calm her breath just like her friend.

"That's what you think!" she yelled back, turning around and opening the door with her back, "And now since you lost, you have to buy me a smoothie."

"You act as though I _wasn't_ going to buy you a smoothie." Carly said as she followed her best friend into the store.

"I don't _always_ make you pay, sometimes I force Freddie to buy them for me," she told her friend a-matter-of-factly.

"Yeah…" Carly began a little nervously as they came up to a empty table, "About you and Freddie…"

"What about me and Freddie?" Sam asked, tilting her head in a confused fashion.

"You guys…have you…are the two of you keeping something from me?" Carly finally managed to stutter out.

Sam turned towards her friend, "Do you want me to get the smoothies?" she asked, putting out her hand to Carly, asking for the money.

"Yeah, sure Sam." Carly replied, reaching into her pocket and pulling out the money and placing it in her friends open hand, "I'll be here."

Sam nodded and made her way over to the counter, not noticing how the best friend she had left at the table still had her eyes on her. Carly watched her friend as she talked to T-BO, ordering their drinks, but it wasn't what she was saying, it was her actions that she was observing.

Sam wasn't a person who expresses their feelings through words, it was subtle actions that you had to pick up over the years. Carly could tell at this moment that her friend was nervous; it was the way she would play with the ends of her sweater and the small motion of her biting her lip. Carly new something was up, it was very rare she would do that, so something that Carly had said in the last 5 minutes had gotten to her, and Freddie was a part of it.

Carly began to go through every situation she could think of, trying to find any reason as to what could be going on between her two friends when she heard the small beep of a cellphone, and watched as Sam pulled hers out of her pocket. Carly continued to observe her friend, looking at how her expression and actions changed to one of nervousness, to one of stressed as she read the message in front of her before placing it back in her back pocket.

Carly quickly took out her phone and began to randomly press buttons and pretend she was doing anything else but observe her best friends actions.

"Here you go C-Shay," Sam came over, placing her large smoothie in front and her and sitting in the chair opposite to her, she could tell her friend was trying to cover up any signs of being unhappy, she always did that.

"Thanks Sam," Carly said distracted.

"You okay?" Sam questioned her, taking a sip from her smoothie.

"Maybe I should be asking you that…" she trailed off, looking up at the very interesting spot on the ceiling, what was that?

"What do you mean?" getting slightly annoyed with her best friend, something was bother Carly and yet, she refused to tell Sam anything, giving her small snippets of what was going on in her head, but wouldn't come out and say it.

"I mean…you've been acting…strange, I feel like you're keeping something form me," Carly replied, finally giving Sam a small glance, than quickly looked away.

"Keeping stuff from you?" Sam looked at Carly, watching her eyes as they shifted around the room.

"Yeah…you and Freddie."

"Freddie?" Sam set her smoothie down, "When did Freddie become a part of this? What does Freddie have to do with anything?"

"Sam…" Carly grabbed her straw and began to twirl it around in her beverage, "You know you and Freddie are close, wither you want to admit it is your prerogative."

Sam picked up her drink again and took a sip, "Whatever."

Silence took over them, the only sounds coming from the slurping sounds coming from them and the light flutter of chatting coming from the other tables. It was the most awkward moment between the two, they had never had a time where either of them, but things where changing and secrets where pulling them apart, and Sam new it was all her fault, but she had to protect Carly, she didn't need to see what the world was truly like, she didn't need to see her best friend turn into a monster.

"So is there?" Carly said, breaking Sam out of her thoughts, she hated that, she had been losing herself in her mind for far too long.

"Is there what?"

"Is there something I should know?" Carly asked, finally looking at her blonde friend in the eye. Carly was serious at this point, Sam could tell by the way her body was positioned, her back was erect and her eyes staring right into hers.

"No Carls…there's nothing you need to know, I promise." And there wasn't, as far as Sam was concerned, as far and Sam thought Freddie didn't even need to know, he just got in the way.

"Okay than," she said, continuing to drink her smoothie. Sam couldn't tell is Carly believed her or not, Carly rarely ever lied, even about small stuff like believing someone, and even if she did it wasn't hard to figure out so Sam opted that Carly believed her.

"I like this," Sam looked at Carly confused.

"Like what, you're being very vague today…"

"This," Carly made a hand motion around the room and to the two of them "Me and you hanging out, we hardly ever get to do this anymore, just hang out."

"Yeah…I guess things have been a little hard…senior year and all." Sam finding it her turn to avoid eye contact with her friend.

"Yeah…I guess they have," Carly sighed, knowing that something was still bothering her.

"I miss you Sam," Carly blurted out.

"Miss me, I haven't gone and where," Sam laughed into her drink.

"You may not have been physically, but mentally I feel like your somewhere else…"

"Stop this, stop talking like that, what do you even _mean_?" Sam scrunched her eyebrows, she began to become annoyed again.

"I don't know…" She trailed off, resting her chin on her hands, "You always seem to be off in your own world, in your head,…like your scared to be in reality."

Sam just laughed, her whole body jerking, "I'm not scared of anything carls, you should know that."

Carly smiled back at her, "Where all scared of something Sam…" Sam was about to retaliate when a soft ringing sound filled her ears, and watched as Carly flipped out her cellphone, reading a text.

"Oh, it's from Freddie."

"What did he say?" Sam asked, having a clue as to why.

"He just wanted to know if I was still with you…" Carly answered. Sam rubbed the back of her neck nervously, she knew what was going on, he had texted her 10 minutes ago, asking if she was alone, but she chose to ignore it and now he was texting Carly.

"He probably just wants to know when you're coming back so he can hang out with you alone, you know, to drool over you," Sam laughed, adding the ending quickly, trying to drive the conversation away of the fact she could not step foot into the apartment.

"Nahh, I don't think Freddie has felt like that for a while." Carly shoved the phone back into her pocket after texting him back.

"What do you mean? Your just confusing the hell out of me today."

"Yeah…well…you're not the only one who is confused." Carly said, barly a whisper.

"What?"

"Nothing." Carly responded quickly.

"I'm still confused," Sam told her honestly, feeling as though it was one of the first times in months she had been.

"I just don't think Freddie sees me the way he always has," She explained, biting on her starw, "I mean, he may still think I'm attractive, but I don't think he sees me as that girl he wants to marry anymore, I am still in his future, just playing a different role."

"Please, Freddie still has it in his mind he's going to be your second husband," Sam found herself almost chocking on her smoothie from laughing.

"No, I don't think so," Carly said seriously, giving Sam that look to show her that she was.

Sam sighed, rolling her eyes, "You may think that, but you don't see the way he looks at you….that way he's always looked at you."

"I know he doesn't feel like that anymore."

"What makes you so sure?" Sam was very curious, Carly never said things like this unless she was positive that what she was saying had back up.

"Because…I see the way he looks at someone else, it's the same way he used to look at me…but it's more…intense?" Carly tried to explain.

"Who?" Sam asked surprised.

"I think that's something he wants to keep private…and something you'll just have to wait to find out," Carly said nonchalantly, opening the lid of her drink and mixing the last of it around.

"What's with all the riddles today Shay?"

"Nothing…I just didn't get a lot of sleep last night, and I have this big test tomorrow in history that I'm really worried about…I think should go home and study," Carly told her, getting up from her seat and throwing her drink away.

"Oh…okay?" Sam sat confused at her friends actions.

"You want me to walk you to the bus stop?" Carly turned around, pulling the hood of her jacket up to keep herself from getting wet.

"No I'm fine, I'm going to spend the rest of your money and get a doughnut," Sam waved the five dollar bill around in the air.

"Oh Sam," Carly whined, running up to her and reaching for it, but Sam managed to shove it down her shirt, laughing, "Fine, I'll see you tomorrow okay?

"Okay, bye…" Sam waved as she watched her brunette friend walkout into the rain, confused by the whole conversation, and angry that Freddie had texted her. They had made a stop at the candy store, picking up come cotton candy for Spencer and took their time getting there. Sam looked at the time and saw it was 8:00, no wonder he was texting, he was expecting Carly to have gone home sooner.

She didn't bother getting that doughnut, to induced in her thoughts, the rain drumming in her ears as she leaned against the brick wall on the outside of the store, watching as people passed by, some trying to run for shelter from the rain and others not really caring. One individual caught her eye, he was dressed in dark clothes, a black umbrella over his head. She continued to watch as the figure turned down the walkway and stopped in front of her.

"Hey"

"Hi Devon," she replied as he got closer, letting her see his face.

"Looks like you could use an umbrella," He said, stepping closer to her, wrapping his arm around her and bringing her out into the rain, protecting her with the umbrella.

"Maybe," She replied shyly, mentally smacking herself for doing so.

"Well, where are you going darling?" He asked as they began walking down the walk way, him holding her tightly to his side.

"Home."

"Well, would you like me to walk you to the bus stop?" He smiled down at her brightly.

"Sure, I mean, you got an umbrella," She told him, pointing up at the dark fabric protecting them.

"Come on, Darlin'"

The two walked in comfortable silence, until the one she had shared with her best friend moments ago. Sam shivered from the cold winds as they whipped through her thin sweater, and sighed as she felt Devon rub his hands up and down her arm, warming her, making her smile.

They continued to walk, turning the corner as the bus pulled up, they waited for everyone to get on first and stood in front of the open doors.

"Well…I guess I should go," Sam said gesturing to the bus.

"Good night Darlin'" Devon whispered before leaning down to place a small kiss on her lips.

Sam bit her lip as she climbed the stairs, "Wait!"

"What?" Sam asked, turning around to see a very wet Devon standing in front of her, holding out the umbrella.

"Here" he said, continuing to hold it out to her, "Take it, you got a long walk from the bus stop."

"Oh…thanks," she thanked him, a rare thing in Sam's world, and took the umbrella from his hands.

"No problem darling, I'll see you bright and early tomorrow," he winked at her and she smiled as the doors closed.

"You got a nice boyfriend there," the bus driver said as they turned around, Sam could only smile and nod as she took her seat, missing the sly smile from Devon as the bus took off.

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><p>Freddie sat on his bed staring at his phone, looking at the text from Carly, telling him that she was in fact still with Sam. He had tried texting her earlier but she had ignored him, he didn't know what he was expecting, he knew Sam wouldn't return his text, and was betting that she was pissed that he had texted Carly, knowing what he was trying to do.<p>

Freddie's ears perked up when he heard a hushed voice coming from his mother's room. Placing his phone on his night stand he got up from his bed and walked towards the door, opening it slightly, listening carefully.

She was talking to someone, but who, he hadn't heard the phone ring, she might have called someone else. Freddie turned around the portable phone by his bed, seeing that the red light was no lite up, signalling that no one was currently using the home phone, which must mean she was on her cell, but she only used that more emergency's.

Stepping out of his room he made his way down the hallway, the barly intangible whispers becoming more clear.

"No, not yet." he heard his mother say, almost in a panic.

"I don't know."

"I'll tell him when I feel the time is right." Tell who, and when was the right time?

"Yes."

"Alright." He heard her continue in a hurried voice, almost as if she knew he was there.

"Goodbye." Was the last thing he heard before this mother opened the door, spotting him.

"Freddie!" Marissa yelled, putting a hand over her heart, "you startled me."

"Where you on the phone, I didn't hear it ring."

"It was on my cell sweetheart, what would you like for dinner?" She asked, walking down the hallway to the living room.

"But you only use that for emergency's"

"It was from work, they wanted to know if I could cover someone's shift."

"I'm going to make spaghetti, is that alright?" Marissa asked before slipping into the kitchen, not waiting for her sons response.

Freddie sat down on the couch, confused. His mother had just lied to him, he was sure of it, the conversation he had overheard and the reason as to why she was on the phone didn't correspond. It wasn't like he could trace the call, it was on her cellphone and from the way she was acting and the words that were exchanged, she didn't want him to.

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><p><strong>Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly or any of the characters.<strong>

**I'm hoping to have the next one up around Monday or Tuesday, so look out for it then! And tell me, are you excited for iLove You? I know I am!**

**And to answer the question if what happened in the chapter "So Damn Hot" was rape, no it was not, Sam chose to drink, and when someone is intoxicated of their own will it is not considered rape, Sam is more than capable to saying no to the alcohol but she chose to take it, if she was drugged than forced to it would be, like in "Burn it to The Ground", though it wasn't a success. I hope that helps. **

**This is kind of a filler chapter, I know in the last chapter I would explain more about Spencer and Sam but sadly I had a change of plans and that won't be coming for a while. This chapter also wasn't originally planned, I just came up with it today and decided it would fit well, it would show Carly and Sam's relationship, how Carly feels about not seeing her friend and also how Carly is slightly suspicious and how Sam is bringing to freak out a little. Also it shows how Freddie is wondering just what the hell is going on with his mother. And lastly, I want to show you that Sam indeed falling hard for Devon.**

**Let's just hope Freddie finds this out soon, but then again, the climb to a happy end it's always happy itself! Haha!**

**-Stolie Silver.**


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